I'm a slavedriver

or how many chores are too many chores?

We have some (supposed to be) temporary house guests. Not my house or said temporary house guests would have been held to the 2-3 months they requested. We are now heading into the 7th month with them bringing in more and more of their own belongings and shifting others belongings to the basement and attic.

I have been informed by them that I am a slave driver to my 17 year old son because I (gasp) expect him to

Mow the lawn, rake the leaves, shovel snow - depending on the season.
*Unload the dishwasher.
Feed the dog.
Take out the trash.
Help with grocery shopping, especially carrying in the heavy bags and help put things away.
Carry the full laundry baskets upstairs.
He does his own laundry by his choice.
Some light cooking for himself.
Carry anything heavy, and get things down off the high shelves.
Clean up behind himself and keep his room in livable condition.

*These chores seem to be the worst that I expect him to do and have been taken over by the ‘house guests’. I guess boys aren’t supposed to do wimmens work?

However, in spite of being a slave driver I obviously don’t crack the whip hard enough because my 17 year old occasionally leaves a dirty glass, plate, or bowl in the sink. This, I have been informed by the temporary house guests, is a HUGE imposition on them, not to mention rude and disrespectful because they should not have to put the dish in the dishwasher. :confused: Also, it is very inconvenient that he sometimes needs a reminder, he is after all 17 and NO 17 year old should be so irresponsible as to need a reminder. Also, I should make him wash the cars.

What’s a poor slave driver to do?

You don’t have “guests”. You have unpaying boarders living with you.

Tell us more about these people. Are you related to them? Why the hell are they living with you for you so long? Why do they think they have any place telling you how to raise your child?

Sounds like your house guests need to be sold to another plantation.

If the OP is in a roommate situation, renting or subletting from another person, that person may have imported friend/in-lsws/relatives of some sort.

Ah, living with people other than your own immediate family. Fun.

Wait, you expect a 17 y/o boy to do chores?? Doesn’t he have a sister to do that stuff for him? Because if not, obviously it falls to his mother. That’s the way the world works - a woman’s work is never done and all that…
Your not-so-temporary house guests sound like a pain in the ass. You are far more patient than I. My BIL was living with us for a while - maybe a month - before spousal unit and I both had enough. I can’t imagine having non-family living with me for more than a couple of weeks.

Hmm… I have a 14-year-old son, who mows the grass, rakes, unloads/loads the dishwasher every other night, does his own laundry, cleans his own bedroom and bath, takes out the trash, feeds and walks one of the dogs, carries groceries, and sometimes babysits for an hour or two.

And an 11-year-old daughter who does all of those things except cut grass (she’s not tall enough yet, so she picks up limbs, pine cones, and trash.)

In addition, both handle their school responsibilities and extracurriculars. I chauffeur when needed, and get school supplies, but I don’t nag about homework or write papers for them. Both are honors students, Beta club officer, on student council, captain of the math team, that sort of stuff.

They do it for room and board. And they don’t complain to me…

How old is your boarder, anyway?

I don’t get it. First the guests are complaining you make the kid do TOO much. Then they start doing his chores for him. Yet, when he leaves a plate in the sink you aren’t slave driving him enough and its a huge inconvience for them (unlike his chores they are doing for him in general). And I reading it right?

If thats whats going on your guests are also dumber than dirt.

when I got to “moving others’ stuff” my answer was simple. Put guests and ALL their stuff on the curb tonight. Raise your son as you feel appropriate ~ but get those so-called guests out NOW. I did more chores than that as a teen.

now to read the rest of the thread…

To answer your question, I ask my 13 y.o. son to do much the same. If I have to tell him, those chores are not eligible for allowance. Also, he has to do the chores I ask him to do.

If he finds chores to do for himself, he gets allowance money for those chores and he gets to choose what he does.

However many chores are too many, you’re not there yet and IMHO, not even close.

I’ve been working on an invention I call the “Leech Motel.” Here’s how it works: you monitor HotWire.com (or somesuch) until you find a great deal on a nice local hotel. Then you pay for the room and tell your guests they can stay there for a night, on you. While their gone, you box up their crap, change the locks and get a restraining order.

If you live in one of those states with a “Castle Law” you should also buy a gun. And a mean dog. And a moat, with crocodiles. And a drawbridge that looks like it’s down, but it’s really a catapault that activates when someone crosses and rings the doorbell and then it flings them, like, a hundred feet in the air and lands them in the moat and when it goes off, it automaticaly chums the water and sends out a signal that makes crodiles angry, hungry and slow to kill their prey before they eat it.

Anyway, my invention is in beta testing right now and you’re welcome to try it out. Good luck.

Oh you are so mean, cruel slave driver that you are, how dare you make an almost adult behave responsibly. You should be reported, it is so good of your guests to point out the error of your ways, please listen to them and stop your slave driving.



Your list seems perfect to me.

I have two 19-year-olds and they do exactly that kind of stuff. I was so happy when they were old enough to do work around the house that actually reduced the work my wife and I have to do.

I smile as I sip my hot cocoa by the window as I gaze upon the teenagers shoveling snow on a cold wintery morning.
I smile even more when I am working on a home repair and I can involve one or both of them in the work—extra pairs of hands and many opportunities to pass on the important knowledge of how to work with tools to the next generation.

Og forbid you expect people who are essentially living with you to be polite. Or your 17-year-old son to contribute to the upkeep of the household.

I wish I could give you suggestions other than, if you can, get them the hell out of there.

My guess is that when they say he should wash the cars, they mean their cars as well, correct?

As for the houseguests, may I recommend some inspirational reading: Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose, one of Dr. Seuss’s more underrated works. (Also available on YouTube, if you want Grandma to read it to you.)

I must be even more eebil than you. My seven year old:

  1. Folds his own laundry and puts it away (he can’t reach the washer and dryer buttons)
  2. Does the dishes daily
  3. Has to clean up his own room and his own messes
  4. Helps with groceries
  5. Helps with general housecleaning - like say we’re cleaning the house or something and he’s in charge of vacuuming
  6. I also make him model my sewing creations because I am eebil
  7. And I taught him make coffee once, so I get coffee from him on the weekends

I only pay him a measly $5 a week. I just love it that child labor is legal when it’s your own kid. I picked up the habit when he was about four or so.

Really - a big giant :rolleyes: to your pests, I mean, guests.

Are you trying to give him teh gey!?

I initially read this as “menses.”

It’s my mothers house, her decision. They are related. Had it been up to me I never would have let them come, but not my choice. My mother is regretting it. Originally it was because he got a job in this area, so they were to stay here temporarily until he got settled in his new job and she got their house packed up and ready to rent.
Well he didn’t like the job so he quit and found another one but he doesn’t like this job either and is trying for another one.

I have no idea what if anything they are paying to stay here. I assume they are paying something. That part is really between them and my mother, although they sure are interested in what I pay to live here.

She thinks she can tell me because that is who she is. She thinks she knows what is best for everybody. He thinks he knows more than everyone else. Honestly I don’t understand people like them because it would never occur to me to tell someone else how to raise their children. I’ve seen parents I think are too strict, I see parents who I think are too lenient, but not my kids, not my problem and who am I to say what’s right or wrong in another family?

Neither of them would even come close to winning a parent of the year award.

I have been told that my son is going to make a good wife for some woman one day. lol

You are reading it right. I don’t get it either.
I think they just like to criticize and complain.

He started giving me crap yesterday about a plate in the sink. I told him when it’s his house he can go by his rules and that nobody told him he has to put the plate in the dishwasher. Which then started a huge argument with her because she swears she is the only one who does anything around the house:rolleyes:

Granted my son should put his dish in the dishwasher, but it’s not like we never clean up any of their messes either. Just yesterday my son cleaned up where their dog pissed on the rug.
That alone should be worth 50 plates in the dishwasher:D