Good on you. I think you’re doing the right thing.
Find a group of people who have overcome the problem and stick with them. They will have various methods by which they made the grade and that will give you tips that you can adapt to your own situation.
As several people have said, those who don’t have a problem never think about drinking as a problem. Drinking doesn’t come way up high on their priority list so they don’t have to include time to drink in their planning.
If you spend time figuring out how you can complete your thesis, for example, and still have time to drink stop kidding yourself. You have a problem.
Do something about it. Something along the lines of the various suggestions in the thread. The first step being to admit the problem and second being stop drinking. Then find a support method, maybe a group or professional help, so that you can get over the early jumps.
I’m just here to offer a different perspective. I’m sure that many of you would consider me to be an alcoholic, and I’m sure I meet some of the stricter definitions of the word.
I learned “how” to drink in the army. Those guys can pound them back. This is where I discovered that my genes have a way of letting me function somewhat normally even when soaked in alcohol.
I now live in Nunavut. It’s cold a lot of the time (who’m I kidding, it’s cold ALL the time) and pretty much of the social events and activities revolve around drinking. The first year I lived here I was drunk at least 3 nights a week. (Wednesday is Wing Night at one of the bars, everyone goes and gets blotto. Friday and Saturday are givens, we go ‘clubbing’). I usually drink about 6-10 double ryes in an evening, plus whatever shots. I’ve since toned it down to 2 nights a week, because the Wednesday night thing is boring when all the kids go back to school in the fall. I’m sure this summer I will be there.
The thing is, I don’t need alcohol. Every other day of the week when I’m not going to the bar, I don’t think about drinking at all. I have 4 mostly full 60s of booze plus 3 bottles of wine in the pantry (there are no liquor stores here, so you have to stock up when you go home) and I don’t think about them if it’s not Wednesday, Friday or Saturday. Plus, I usually work 60 hours a week when I factor in my on call hours. If I’m on call on a wed, fri, or sat. I don’t drink and it bothers me not in the least.
By the definitions of alcoholism in this thread, am I an alcoholic? I sometimes refer to myself as one in jest, but truthfully I enjoy getting drunk. I would find it hard to be at a bar and not drink because I find it really boring to be around drunk people when I am sober. Plus, if all there is to drink at somebody’s place is beer, I’d rather just not drink. I hate beer. I don’t think I actually am an alcoholic, because it’s only in certain places and social situations that I feel a need for a drink.
So: am I or aren’t I an alcoholic?
“am I or arent’ I” ?
It’s really a relative question isnt’ it? If your’e counting the hours until you can have a drink, as Geobabe said, then yes you are. If you’re like my little sister, who stayed out partying until 4 then railed against the fact that she had to get up at 6, then yes you are.
If, OTOH, it doesnt’ get in the way of your life, affect your parents, your kids, think of the health effects. Is it making you fat? 
Is it affecting your blood pressure? Your stomach? I’ve pushed drinking into a small, small, tiny area of my life. That’s as it should be. You wouldn’t eat a whole half gallon of ice cream at one sitting, would you? Then also don’t drink a pint of whisky, bottle of wine or twelve pack of beer at one sitting.
Ultimately it’s up to YOU. Do you want to take the risk of too much and shorten your life. Sure you can alienate your loved ones, they can deal with it. I think one should look at the health aspects as well.
I just got sick of all the negativity of drinking. The 3 or 4 day hangovers, the expense, the risk of a DUI, the self-destruction, the brain not working properly, forgetting things, forgetting where I had been or what I had done, and so on.
It sure wasn’t easy to quit, drinking can be fun, it made me smile and be happy. The bar was also just about the only place I socialized. So I moved, I had too, I wouldn’t have been able to quit otherwise. After moving I had a few flings here and there, but eventually I just gave it up.
Best of luck to any of you battling the beast.
-I’ve never counted the hours until I can drink
-My parent are millions (well not really, but they might as well be) of miles away. I don’t have any children.
-My blood pressure, liver enzymes, GGT (enzyme most commonly elevated in alcoholics) are all normal (I am a lab tech and can test myself anytime I want).
-It’s definitely not affecting my weight (I’m 6’0" and weigh 150lbs, I have for the last 4 years) and my blood pressure and heart rate are normal (enviable, really).
-There have been interesting studies re: alcohol and cardiovascular health in the last few years; the last one I remember reading suggested that up to 3 glasses of wine a day helped elevate HDL cholesterol (the ‘good’ cholesterol) and lower LDL (the ‘bad’ cholesterol) while thinning the blood (helping to prevent blood clots) and promoting overall circulatory health. Interestingly, they found that not only red wine had this effect, but also other alcohols equivalent to 3 glasses of wine a day had similar effects.
I agree it’s all relative. I think if I were in a place where social activities were less centered around drinking, I would drink less and think nothing of it. I am more curious if the people in this thread who have definitions of ‘alcoholic’ consider me to be one.
NB, I am certainly not qualified to diagnose anyone, but to me your situation sounds like heavy social drinking instead of alcoholism. To me, it isn’t really the quantity of alcohol that shows a problem, it’s the thought processes behind the drinking. Making excuses, bargaining, setting up schedules, failing to adhere to your own guidelines, getting unintentionally drunk, drinking under inappropriate circumstances, lying about the quantity or circumstances of your drinking, drinking despite specific bad consequences to health or relationships or employment, feeling that the day is wasted if you’re not wasted, these are the thoughts that I associate with alcoholism. And they don’t seem to apply to you.
But I’m not a professional. I’m just a person with an alcoholic parent who broke my heart on more than one occasion.
I agree with jsgoddess. Nunavut Boy, in my opinion, you’re a heavy drinker and not an alcoholic. What leads me to believe that is you said you really don’t think about the booze in the house when it’s not drinking time, and you don’t seem to have an inner struggle going on over the times when you know you shouldn’t drink because of work or other responsibilities. “I know I have to work tomorrow, but if I only… if I just get to bed earlier, I’ll sleep it off… I’ll only drink beer… I’ll just have three, that’s it…” - that’s but the beginning of the rationalization and justification that goes on in the mind of an alcoholic. I don’t get the impression that you play these kinds of mind games - and make bargains with - yourself. When I was an active alcoholic, that’s pretty much all I did with my mental energy.
Just watch out for what I call mental gymnastics - the bizarre twisting of thought process in which you end up justifying why you it’s okay to get drunk even though the logical, rational part of your mind knows you really shouldn’t.
Maybe I spoke too quickly. I had a horrible 9-hour headache yesterday and right now I just want to puke my guts out. Since the last thing I want is a drink I doubt it has anything to do with the alcohol, but I just thought I’d check with you guys anyway.
Don’t remember any bad barfy stuff – I was in a hospital rehab, though. (If that made a diffrence, which I’m not sure if it would.)
OTOH, when I quit smoking, I did go through a two-day period of either an ugly stomach flu or nicotine withdrawal – lots of vomiting. I’d started by using nicotine gum, but since I wasn’t even doing that while I was so sick, I ended up going cold turkey from there on out – why reintroduce nicotine after being totally off it for two days?
Hang in there. Again, if you’d like to email me, feel free – twickster47 at yahoo dot com.
Whatever the reason is that you’re feeling bad right now, I hope you’ll feel better soon. And, whether you’re an alcoholic, or just a problem drinker, giving up the booze seems like the smart thing to do. Best of luck!
It’s possible. Given the wide range of physical ailments I experienced when I was drinking, nothing surprises me. I really don’t remember how I felt when I quit the second time, but it definitely wasn’t fantastic. I had clonazepam to help me through the worst of it (I already had that med for another reason). Taking it during detox/withdrawal was more for the shakes and the sudden anxiety and almost manic feeling, though, and it helped me sleep. Still, you said you weren’t having any of that, so I wouldn’t run to the doctor.
Try taking hot baths. If the headache and nausea continue, take some ibuprofen (or whatever) and an anti-nausea med. I don’t think there’s any need for you to suffer more. You’re taking care of a big thing here, and I don’t see why you shouldn’t feel at least a bit more comfortable physically.
In addition to the symptoms scott_evil mentioned, I found when I stopped drinking I would immediately come down with a case of whatever was going around.
I just came back from my first AA meeting. I got a 24 hour chip. In a way, it was really nice. No-one judged me or tried to make any decisions for me. They just said that maybe I am an alcoholic and maybe I’m not, and it was great that I went there to find out, especially that I did while still young. I did feel like the guy with a black eye going to a meeting for torture survivors - everyone else had horror stories about lost jobs and screwed-up studies and destroyed marriages and criminal records a mile long - but no-one seemed to feel that I didn’t belong.
The main problem is the whole religion thing. Yes, I know, “it’s not religious, it’s spiritual”, but it’s all the same to me. I’m never ever going to be able to stand up and say “God grant me the serenity” and mean it. It’s just not going to happen. There was also more than a little evangelism going on. “This is the only way to get sober.”
That said, I guess I’ll go there a couple more times at least. They have another meeting tonight, and I think I’ll go then.
“Keep coming back – it works if you let it.”
Don’t worry about the god stuff too much – try saying “Let me have…” instead of “God grant me…” and see how that feels.
I’m so damn proud of you, Priceguy. I really am. I’m sitting here with a huge grin on my face. This is an amazingly brave move on your part, to just walk into that room, and I hope you’re giving yourself credit for that, regardless of what happens next.
{{{{{Priceguy}}}}}
I’m an honest-to-god [hehe] atheïst and so were more than half of the people going to the AA.
Just put your mind on a blank when god is mentioned.
Listen to the people. They know all the tips and tricks. I bet you find out in no time whether you have a drinking problem or not.
You’re a cool guy, Priceguy, Hat off for you. 
I could do that, but there’s so much else. The whole thing feels a bit like a cult. People who fail are labeled as people who have a congenial defect that makes them unable to live lives of total honesty. AA is the only way to get sober and stay sober. The first step says I cannot handle the alcohol by myself, and the second step of the twelve talks about recognizing a higher power than myself, with the help of which I will be able to handle the alcohol.
That doesn’t feel good. But the welcome, the caring, the community, the talking, all that feels good. Just not the philosophy behind it, nor the attitude towards that philosophy.
I do. But the more I read and hear, the more I’m leaning towards me not being an alcoholic. The way I used to drink was definitely detrimental and was certainly pushing me towards alcoholism, but I don’t think I’m there. I haven’t had a drop in six days now, and although yesterday was a bit of a bitch* it hasn’t been all that difficult. I’ve had both wine and beer in the house the entire time and haven’t thought about it.
So I think that I probably caught it in time. On the other hand, I’m deathly afraid of having that first drink now. What if I have a glass of wine with dinner or a beer at a pub and just cannot stop? So, regardless of whether I’m an alcoholic, I may never drink again. But that’s for future me to see. I’m today me.
[sub]*April 30th is a traditional hard drinking day in Sweden, especially for students like me. Everyone goes out and gets wasted. I was invited to three different parties, but I realized that the kind of party you have on April 30th is no fun when you can’t drink, so I stayed home with the ex (whose friends all mysteriously disappeared) and watched videos. She had four beers. I had a few weak moments there. But I didn’t drink, and that’s what counts, right?[/sub]
There is no doubt that many who attend AA meeting think that you must have a “higher power.” They are not AA. They are just the same as the rest of of. They are alcoholics who haven’t had a drink today. I can testify from personal experience that a higher power is not an essential because I’ve not had a drink for 23 years. XXIII according to the chip that I keep on my key ring. In all of that time I never have felt the need for anything other than the knowledge that in AA I can find a group of people, most of whom don’t drink most of the time. Some of them don’t drink any of the time and some slip but keep coming back. I can use their experiences to help me not drink and that has been so useful that drinking is not even a distant possibility.
You mentioned that you had one day of not drinking and got a chip. You were, at that time, the same as I am. Each of us hadn’t had a drink that day. Everyone, not just alcoholics, lives one day at a time and the object of the would-be recovering alcoholic is to not waste that day in drinking.
Believe me, if you keep at it one day at a time by leaning on the support of AA in not drinking that day the days pile up, even if you let slide the exhortations of the super religious. Sooner or later there will come a time when not drinking becomes automatic and alcohol is no longer a consideration.
I found that for me the thing to do was forget there are some parts of AA and some people in it that I don’t agree with, or even like. That is true of everything that we do. The world in general and many of the people in it are not arranged to my specifications. It’s up to me to get along in it, or not, and if I’m super critical because of some things I don’t like my job in getting along becomes just that much harder.
As I tried to mention to you before but you bitched at me for it and my concern, there are other recovery groups than AA, specifically because of the spiritual nature and the “cultish” feeling that others get.
Hoping you don’t bitch at me again for the offer of INFORMATION. Look through the posts in this thread. There are some helpful ones with regard to other groups.
Yeah, I wanted to mention the existence of alternatives to AA again, because I think it’s great that you’re doing this, Priceguy. So I wouldn’t want to see you be turned off by the AA message (since it doesn’t seem to be compatible with you) and end up giving up.
I’m glad you’re making good progress. Let us know how it goes, please. Alcohol withdrawl has got to be a bitch, so good job.