Steady on, mate. We’re all trying to help out here, and no-one’s cast the first stone so far.
Excalibre, thanks for the interesting link.
I am one of those people who isn’t a full-blown, drinking-his-life-away alcoholic, but I do agree that I will need to get my drinking a little bit under control.
I think the AA is a bridge too far for me, but this sounds like a pretty good system.
I think it is very good practice to learn how your addiction works, and that is exactly what this system does.
Oh, and by the way : I luuuurve the taste of my drinks.
If I didn’t like the taste I would absolutely not be drinking.
I also like the buzz, but I hardly ever get drunk, just intoxicated.
I’ve been looking at Qadgop’s link to Moderation Management - another less absolute method for self-control. It sounds pretty workable.
And I took their test. It says I have “low dependence” (which is the least serious category.) That’s good.
Has anyone here been sent away from AA because they weren’t an alcoholic? Seriously.
Hi Price,
I’ll weigh in here, with the perspective of someone who has a bit more experience with Sweden, Swedes and alcohol. 
An ex-girlfriend of mine ended up being depressed, for a number of good reasons. Her lowest point in her depression was that she didn’t want to kill herself, but she was extremely scared because she could not see another way out.
For you, I identify the following risk-factors:
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Your drinking tendencies resemble a mild form of the state of my ex. You know somewhere that drinking isn’t really bringing you anything good, but you feel you want to and you think it makes you feel better
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You’ve just been through a Swedish winter, and suffer from a lack of Serotonin from underexposure to sunlight. Alcohol gives you a quick but temporary serotonin fix. This feels great on the short term, but unfortunately your brain anticipates the next serotonin boost by actually lowering its default serotonin level. This is the part that makes alcohol especially addictive and dangerous.
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You’ve just dropped out of a relationship (source of social interaction, serotonine positive - unless of course a relationship is really bad)
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You’re working on a thesis. This creates stress, and social isolation - it’s often a lonely job, with little interaction with others. It was definitely not good for me when I was doing it.
Solution
Typical natural ways of increasing your serotonin levels in Sweden are going outdoors and socialising. Complex carb food also helps. Special high-watt lamps, installed in many hospitals in Sweden, can compensate for the lack of sun.
So, when you’re alone, go out walking in nature, do some sports, and make sure you live in the daylight. Don’t sleep too long, as serotonine also regulates your sleep. It goes up when you’re tired, and then down when you sleep. The longer you sleep, the lamer you’ll feel when you wake up. Alcohol speeds up this process, as it tells your brain to get up with it, which is why one of the side effects of drinking can be that you wake up before you’re fully rested (this becomes a problem particularly as your tolerance for alcohol grows)
I’ve got you pegged for a curious and interested guy in most things considering life, and therefore I highly recommend Natural Prozac by Joel C. Robertson, which was a great inspiration for me, has proven itself over and over, and really increased my understanding of what motivates people to behave.
It’s all real science presented in a friendly and well-written, accessible way, and was a big eyeopener to me. I highly recommend it to anyone - problems not required, just curiosity about how your brain works and interacts with its environment.
You don’t sound too bad off, Priceguy. But do make sure that you don’t make this a habit. I think you’re too clever to do so, to be honest, but with Swedes you never know.
(Also, feel free to come over for a visit - with or without a friend - for a bit of a Holiday, flights are often cheap these days. )
OK, I can your point, but I look at it in a slightly different way. A normal drinker wouldn’t have opened the beer in the first place, knowing that in ten minutes he/she might have to leave, and especially drive.
I wasn’t driving, he was (not that it probably would have made a difference to me, alas). The point was that we were hanging out with no particular schedule happening. It’s not like I knew we were 15 minutes from departure when I got the refill on my pop. You asked for an example of a time when someone might walk out in the middle of a drink (of whatever beverage) and I provided one.
The beer I drink is more expensive than the soda I drink, usually. If I’ve opened a bottle of Reed’s Ginger Ale (much more expensive than Coke), I’ll finish it before I leave. Same thing if I’ve ordered a cappucino at a cafe, or a glass of fresh-squeezed OJ. I don’t recall ever seeing someone leave part of a beer.
Daniel
I come from a long line of alcoholics on both parent’s side. I can no more drink responsibly than I can fly. I have an immediate chemical response to alcohol that is like throwing kerosene and lit matches into a barn full of dry straw. As soon as alcohol hits my bloodstream, my body’s chemical response is so strong that I have no interest in anything other than drinking more alcohol. And more. And more. That’s what makes me an alcoholic. I stopped drinking over 25 years ago.
My husband does something that is absolutely foreign to me. It’s called ‘having a drink.’ He pours himself a vodka on ice, and drinks it while watching the evening news. And that’s it. He doesn’t have another (and another and another) drink. He has no interest in another drink. I could never, ever do that. That’s why he is not an alcoholic, and I am.
Neither my husband nor I made choices about whether to be alcoholics or not. I did, though, make a choice about how to handle the genetic hand I was dealt.
So OP, what’s my point? There are some sterotypes of an alcoholic as a person ‘driven to drink’ because of bad luck or misfortune. That’s bullshit. You can be an alcoholic and be optimistic and well-balanced. But if you are an alcoholic and you drink, someday you’ll find that all your luck is bad. It is your choice to make.
I don’t know about anyone here, but the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. Many times I’ve seen someone say something like, “I’m not sure if I’m an alcoholic.” So-called “open” meetings are open to those who aren’t sure if they have a drinking problem.
Lucky for me, 'cause that’s exactly what I’m planning on saying.
What kind of reaction do you think I could expect? Is everybody going to try and convince me that I’m an alcoholic? What does your group say to people who come there to find out if they’re alcoholics?
IME, it’s usually something along the lines of, “Welcome, we’re glad you’re here. Hang around as long as you want.” I won’t lie, there are some AAers who get a little evangelistic about the program, but most understand that it’s about attraction rather than promotion and it’s up to each individual to decide whether they belong there.
And you might not even have to say anything. Each group varies, but I’ve never been to a meeting where everyone has to introduce themselves. In a speaker meeting, the only people I’ve seen speaking are the group chair, secretary, those who hold positions in the group, the speaker, whoever thanks the speaker… The audience just sits there and listens.
Discussion groups are different, of course. People introduce themselves before sharing. Still, you don’t even have to say “I think I might have a problem with alcohol.” You can say, “Hi, my name is Priceguy” and leave it at that. First name only.
Probably not, but often people will introduce themselves to a newcomer before or after the meeting. Just smile and if they ask anything, you can say “I’m just here to check it out” or even lie and say you’re visiting from out of town.
Do yourself a favor: don’t drink the day of. Sober people can smell booze from more than a mile away. Then you might get concerned people talking to you.
And remember, every group (meeting) is different. Some are great; some suck. Some go through good and bad phases. I’ve seen it all. If you really don’t like it, try chalking it up to the group or the day or the phase of the moon, and go to another meeting, or even go back to the same one.
No problem. I’ve quit.
Priceguy - From the bottom of my heart I wish you success in carrying out your decision. And I know there are quite a few others here who will offer you the same, if not more.
How are you feeling physically?
A little tip: do you like soda? (Not the poster soda. We all love her.) If so, stock up on it. For some reason, a lot of us like to have a drink of something nearby. My husband (also in recovery) and I always have a soda close by. Diet, for me.
And before anyone says “You’re just substituting one thing for another!” – hey, it’s better than drinking. Kind of like ex-smokers who chew on toothpicks or suckers or candy.
And if you’ve got any kind of sweet tooth, be prepared to have that kick in. (Alcohol, after all, is a form of sugar, and your system is used to your providing a fair amount.)
Good luck with this – you’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Great. Hey, it’s only been 57 hours. I’ve gone that long without drinking before. I doubt I’ll be experiencing any physical symptoms.
I am a bit miffed that the regular pub quiz gang didn’t turn up today, though. I was all psyched up about sitting in a pub with people drinking all around me and not touching anything but orange juice myself. But there’s always next week.
Actually, I’m a water addict (if there is such a thing; whaddaya say, Tris?). I always have a bottle of water by my side when I’m at home, whatever I’m doing. So there’s always something to drink.