My kids grew up in Silicon Valley also, and never a problem. And they hung out with some religious kids.
One member of our school board said she was going to propose a day of prayer. The chair said he’d sue if it passed. No one on the board supported her, and she retreated, abashed.
Good place for us.
Germany too, apparently. The school my daughter taught in had mass and stuff like that, but apparently no one believed in it. She just got married to a German. His parents were quite concerned that we, being American, were religious fanatics, and were quire relieved that we were atheists too.
Me too. In fact I have to resist the urge to rush home and put on women’s clothing.
My son does skip and jump, and go to the lavatory. But, I don’t think he’s a big fan of buttered scones.
Got it.
Well, I don’t tend to tell people, mostly because I don’t tend to talk about religion. But when it does come up, I just state things factually, answer questions if they come up (and they do sometimes, usually someone asking if I was raised in any religion), and try not to be too jumpy about it. Yes, some of the questions might come off as weird if I’m going to be touchy, but I’m not going to be touchy, y’know?
Are you Jewish? Could also be culturally or be asking about family.
But this isn’t really a cultural difference – it’s the same situation, just with the parties reversed.
This.
Canada is just like the UK and Australia on this topic. And anyway, asking someone what church he attends or what his religion is is just not done. We don’t care.
It would be like “Nice to meet you. How much money do you earn?”
My mother is, so some people say that makes me Jewish. His mother isn’t, though. His uncle, my brother-in-law, is actually a Lutheran minister. My wife is nominally Christian, but doesn’t attend church unless we’re visiting the in-laws.
One of my kids self-identifies as Christian (although she’s not baptized, so good luck to her on Judgement Day!), and the another is atheist to the point where she told her devout mother-in-law that she doesn’t believe. That went over well. My son is the youngest and is probably just following the lead of his older sister. I’m sure he hasn’t come to this through any sort of self-reflection.
I live in the south, and the struggle is real. I have had several clients “confess” to me that they are not believers, and boy are they relieved when I out myself. Yep, I said “out myself.” That’s what it feels like sometimes.
Same here, but I call myself a “shrugnostic.”
How do you know? I knew when I was very young that the stories being presented as truth were ridiculous, and that there were all kinds of contradictions within the Bible. But I certainly didn’t share that with my parents.
And the coach should be spoken to. Saying “…but most atheists are good people” is as offensive as “well, most priests aren’t kiddy-diddlers.”
I don’t know if you should tell him to use a different word. I spent thirty years in the south, 20-odd of them as a non-believer. I had to hide what I believed and it was tedious and upsetting. If someone is a nonbeliever, they should be able to say so without fear of backlash or judgement, whether they’re atheist, agnostic, Humanist, shrugnostic, spiritual-but-not-religious, whatever. The only way to do that is for people to answer these questions honestly.
For what it’s worth, young people are less likely to be religious than older generations.
Do you really think it’s expected that we’re some religion or another here? Religion almost never comes up at work (true of everywhere I’ve worked for nearly 20 years) and the only expectation I’ve noticed is that unless you say otherwise, people expect that you celebrate Christmas: and pretty much the only people who don’t are Jewish because atheists like exchanging presents too.
I find it odd that religion is such a big deal in some parts of the country because although I’m not atheist, I’m not a church-goer and no one has ever made an issue of it other than a few of my parents’ super-religious friends when I was a child. Coworkers rarely mention church at all though many belong to religions that expect you go.
You’re asking me how I know whether my own son was brought up with religious beliefs? Believe me, he’s not that thoughtful about such things. He’s a great kid, a smart kid, but he’s not into philosophy and the meaning of life. He hasn’t been presented with any religious stories, except maybe in coloring book form or something, when he was much smaller.
Regarding the coach, he didn’t say that most atheists are this or that, he said there are two kinds of people, good people and bad people. It has nothing to do with what they believe. I agree that he probably didn’t have to say anything, but what he did say wasn’t a slam against atheists.
My daughter outed herself as an atheist way back in second grade. One of her best friends was and was for a long time - a conservative Christian (they are still friends, but aren’t really close in high school). They used to have, according to several teachers, very interesting religious debates when they had free time. In sixth grade they were talking about communities and the teacher decided to ask them what faith they were. We are also Unitarian (being a Unitarian atheist isn’t even unusual, especially in our congregation where the minister identifies as agnostic), my daughter said she was a Unitarian atheist. The teacher did not handle it as well as the coach did - she told my daughter she couldn’t possibly be an atheist AND go to church. “But we do.” The teacher wisely dropped it. My daughter’s turn was early - once she was out, there were three or four other atheists in the classroom.
In certain situations I simply tell people I’m UU. Its easier, people don’t tend to ask for details. My daughter hasn’t learned to measure the situations yet - but at the same time, here in Minnesota, she’s never had any significant backlash.
If your son picks up on social cues, you can give him the talk about the word atheist being misunderstood and offensive to some people - and simply saying “I’m not very religious” being a better response to a general inquiry. Or just not volunteering if they start talking about church or temple. My own take is that my faith is like my sex life - not really a matter of public discussion and most people really don’t want to hear it.
This has been a very interesting thread for me to read.
Your location makes a big difference. I live in northwest Florida (basically the same as Lower Alabama), and it is a huge deal around here. Like, HUGE. For context, this is the town made famous by an ACLU suit against the high school principal for prayer in school. My son has had all kinds of encounters because he doesn’t believe in God. He’s in an extreme minority. Sometimes he just pretends to believe, so that he doesn’t have to get into it. Other times he has “come out”, like another poster said.
It’s a little bit different in this neck of the woods, because the kids here will ask if you believe in God, if you’ve been saved, if you’ve been baptised. They teach this in the churches as part of being a good Christian.
My son is in 5th grade this year. He doesn’t know what Atheism is yet, although he appears to be pretty strongly atheist himself, but I will be explaining it to him when he is a little older. When I do, I don’t think a warning is out of place, as it’s good to know the weight of a word before you use it.
I personally remember using it to inflame Christians as a teen. We have evangelicals here who approach you on the street and try to “minister” to you, and it can be an effective conversation stopper- just a big smile and a “No thanks, we’re atheists”, can occasionally get you out of being preached at, and they’ll let you pass with an “I’ll pray for you”.
I’m in the Northeast, and I think that people assume everyone celebrates Christmas because they assume they’re Christians.