It’s ChiTown, peeps 
I suspect you’re not actually trying to put SLC down, but I have to protest that just because it’s SLC, it doesn’t mean it’s bad.
Sure, they can’t make bagels to save their lives, but there are some superb Mexican restaurants in SLC, and I celebrated my birthday at a French restaurant that was great. I’ve eaten at a Japanese restaurant (which I think is no longer there) that is definitely above standard “teppan-yaki”- type food.
And, of course, the ski areas like Park City attract high quality talent.
How much did the person who does his tipping leave?
“How’s that car elevator working these days, Governor?”
“You gonna eat that?”
Since Frylock hasn’t replied, I’m concerned that Mitt had him(?) detained, possibly for “conduct unbecoming a Mormon”.