I’m 20, my step-father is 40. I find him a horrible vile man. He shouts all the time at us. He frequently calls my mother a ‘fat cow’, ‘stupid cunt’ and ‘fucking bitch’ and other phrases of that ilk. My mum never says anything. She’s an immigrant so I think the gravity of some of the insults he says don’t quite sink in with her.
He is the breadwinner. He drinks, smokes, has poor diet, high-blood pressure, angina and is impulsive. He is charming in public and at work but takes out his stress of work on my mother. I often stick up for my mother because I don’t care if he shouts at me, I shout at him right back, giving him all the verbal abuse he’s given to my mother. He’s not physically abusive but he is extremely verbally abusive. He reacts solely on his instincts and never engages his brain before he acts.
The stress literally makes my heart hurt and I have exams and it’s making it difficult to focus as I have to hear him shouting at my mother all the time and it raises my anxiety levels. He mostly uses my mother as a verbal punchbag. He doesn’t shout at me, but I feel like defending my mother all the time. I can assure you all the abuse is one-way traffic from him to her. It sickens me.
I don’t know what to do or how to handle him.