I'm awesome.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I just decided to be awesome.
Unfortunately it may be a while before you, the reader of this thread, come to realize it yourself.

That is due to the time it will take for me to get used to being awesome.

But when that time comes. I’ll show everyone that Chuck Norris is a wimp.

I’ll inject eleventy-hundred-billion dollars into the world’s economies (I think I have that amount lying around somewhere)

I hope nobody is upset when all your wives, girlfriends and celebrity crushes decide they only have eyes for me.

by way of a compensation for the above, I’ll find each and every one of you a planet (habitable of course) to rule. But I’m afraid I’ll have to remain ruler of the universe.

Oh, did I not mention? I’m sorry. The particular amount of awesome that I am requires me to be the eternal ruler and master of life, the universe, and everything.
Any questions?

2

What are you on?

3

Nothing. I’m awesome.
Like I said. If you’re confused or sceptical now. All will be clear to you in good time.

ETA: It is only possible for a mortal to decide to be Awesome once. As I am that person nobody else can decide to be Awesome from this point forward.

4

If I only had a dime for every time I’ve heard that, I’d have about $40 now.

5

As I am not yet fully at peace with how awesome I am, I still require answers to questions.

One such question is: If you would indulge me, can you give me examples of what the context was when people said “If you’re confused or sceptical now. All will be clear to you in good time” to you?

Curiosity will be a thing of the past when my awesomeness is fully realized (Because I’ll know everything. It will be kind of sad, but I can decide not to be sad via awesomeness), but until then I still possess it.

6

I’ve met some awesome people. They told me that being awesome isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

7

Oh, I don’t know. I downgraded my status to Awesome once, on a dare, and it really wasn’t that bad.

8

Are you familiar with emergency psychiatric evaluations or psychotic breaks?

9

I’m familiar with everything. So, yes.
(I’m also familiar with epic failures of senses of humours)

10

blondbear and Heart of Dorkness I judge by your posts that you have failed to understand the concept of awesome.

Let me explain it like this: Until I decided to be awesome, anything that claimed to be awesome was flawed, and therefore mistaken. There has in fact been nothing awesome until me. Sure there were ‘cool’ things and ‘impressive’ things. And even ‘omnipotent’ things. But the amount of awesome in me trumps ‘omnipotence’ any day.

11

Well, thanks for setting me straight on that.

But you knew I was going to post that anyway, didn’t you?