This is a little strange.
I’m being stalked by a cat.
let me explain. About 2 months I got a Scooter. A really nice scooter. I lock it up in by back yard every night.
Every so often, when I would come out in the mornings to take the bike out to go to work, a cat will run out from under my bike. The bike is covered over, so it would provide some cover for the cat.
This dosent happen every day, just some days.
recently, things got a little stranger. The cat has started waiting for me by my back gate. It arrives at 5.30pm every day I have the bike out. I get home about 5.40. My mother has seen the cat arrive, on time every day.
The cat watches me, waits for me to lock and cover the bike, and then, when I go indoors, runs under the bike again. It dosent stay there for long, probably one or 2 hours.
I havent fed the cat.
I’m sure it is plotting something. It looks evil.
John, cats will do that. You provided a good nest for it. Perhaps it is a girl cat ready to give birth or something. They have a need to nest around that time.
HUGS!
Sqrl
I think it fancies you .
Oh God , JohnLarrigan being stalked by a small pussy ( so many jokes my head hurts ). 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by JohnLarrigan *
**This is a little strange.
I’m being stalked by a cat.
<SNIP>
I’m sure it is plotting something. It looks evil. **/QUOTE]
No cat is evil who has friends. 
Cats are possessive and once they get in their heads that something belongs to them, it is set there for good. I suspect Stalker Cat has decided that your bike cover belongs to him/her. No plotting–just possession.
John, I’m sorry to have to break the news to you, but…
It is not you that the cat wants, it is your bike. Who knows, maybe the bike whispered some sweet nothings into the cat’s ear, just playing with it, testing out its ability to lure prey. The cat fell for it. Now the cat spends its days, pining away for its one true love. Oh, how giddy it must feel to hear the purring of the engine on its approach. Its heart leaps at the sight of the shiny chrome, how it must long for a single touch of the smooth leather seat…
Hey, stop looking at me like that!
Cats typically do not respond to threats, the only way I have successfully threatened my cat is with this quote-
“I know a nice asian butcher”
Granted, I don’t know an asian butcher, nor are cats an asian foodstuff (as far as I know), but it seems to work.
After all, he has the brain of a housecat.
The cat probably just wants a nice sheltered place to sleep. Mothballs are a good repellant if you are concerned about the cat fouling your ride, and it won’t take many.
John, have you checked the manual for your scooter? I think this is the Moped Repair Cat that comes with the DeLuxe package
Shadowfox, I know the bike attracts cats. you can never have enough pussy attention.
Pregnant cats have a need to nest at 5:30? Wow, that’s so precise…Nature never ceases to amaze me!
Don’t listen to any of these people, John. The cat is definitely out to get you.
Here’s what you need to do.
-
Arm yourself. The bigger weapon the better. Cat’s with an agenda seldom work alone.
-
Baricade yourself inside your house. The top floor. Bolt and weld everything shut. Take no chances.
-
Fashion a hat out of tin-foil and coat-hangers. Wear it at all times.
-
Contact me at Cat-Hater’s HQ via telecommunication at your earliest convenience for further instructions.
Good luck and Godspeed, my friend.
I’d say he stays till the heat of the engine dissipates but that isn’t any fun.
So…
The cat is obviously part of a vast conspiracy. It has been working at desensitizing you to its presence. You are correct in your observation that said cat has evil intent.
Beware of booby-traps set by the evil pussy!
Do not take this threat lightly!!
Ride JohnLarrigan Ride!!
John, even though you beat the snot out of me while giving me directions, I feel I must share with you from my vast store of cat knowledge.
The cat is just a creature of habit. It found the covered bike one evening and realized it made a good shelter. It also realized you are also a creature of habit and arrive home on said bike at about 5:30.
Since you didn’t kick the cat or hurl pointed objects at it, the cat feels it is welcome (or at least not unwelcome) to use the bike and its cover while you are not using it. This is typical of the symbiotic relationships cats forge with humans, even humans they don’t live with or otherwise know.
Even though you haven’t fed it, it is obviously finding food elsewhere and has apparently found shelter under your bike cover. Unless it chews up the seat or pees on the fenders (both of which are unlikely), there’s no reason to be concerned.
Unless, of course, the cat is a minion of the Devil and is lulling you into a false sense of security so it can gain access to your bedroom at night and suck out your breath while you sleep.
But probably not. Keep me posted anyhow.
Do you really think it’s any of your business what goes on under that cover? The scooter’s locked up, so the cat’s probably into bondage, but if its consenual, why would you have a problem with it? Closed-minded bigots…
Joe, pregnant cats have a need to nest. Semantics, semantics… Now go post in the annoying thread.
Sqrl
Update-
The cat didnt go near the bike when I came home yesterday. It looked at me funny and then sat on my back wall looking in my window for about 20 minutes and then slinked off somewhere.
I dont know if its pregnant. It appears to be well looked after, although the is more meat on a Big Mac.
John, you’ve got yourself a pet cat.
I like the name Stalker. Fits.
If it was me, I’d leave some water in a bowl out there.
How cute!!!
Soul, I’m not a cat person at all. I hated the musical…
Apologies to the humor impaired. I figured there was no way anybody could read this thread and not see the inherent jokes.
Lighten up.
Does that mean you went to post in the annoying thread yet? I saw the joke and thought it was lame. I have seen you do better. Practice my boy, practice.
HUGS!
Sqrl
take it easy guys! no need for a cat fight…