It’s been about a month since my ex and I broke up (year and a half relationship) two weeks after breaking up, I had that sudden realisation that even though it sucked not being in a relationship… I was single again! That meant being able to have fun and go out with whoever I want without worrying that my boyfriend would get jealous or upset that I don’t have time for him, or expectations of something “bigger” to follow. Now I can go out and really have fun and date a little!
Thing is… I’ve never actually dated before. I’ve been in several relationships, but I’ve never actually went out with multiple guys at the same time, keeping it low key and open minded about a long term relationship but at the same time open to going out with different guys. Now, I have some guys chatting with me and persuing me for dates… it’s pretty exciting!
So, I’ve been chatting with a few guys for the past week, and one of them asked me out for coffee… no set time yet, but coffee! It feels so soon, and I’m nervous, but I don’t know whether it’s due to me moving on so fast, or because I’m doing something I’ve never done before… or if everyone gets this nervous when they’re dating someone new! And coffee… I like coffee and all, but that’s a little cliche for a first date. Would it be too much to counter his offer of coffee for a visit to the art gallery or a museum? I know coffee is safe, but soooo boring, I want to do fun stuff!
I say try for the change. I mean, you’re not even dating the dude yet so it’s not like you’ve got a whole lot to lose. And if he doesn’t like that sort of thing (presumably the sort of thing you like) do you really want to date him?
Hey, good for you Sad and Deranged! After your last thread, I’m happy to see that you’re out there and giving this a go. Best wishes for YOU, regardless of how things turn out.
So, with all that in mind, I think going with coffee (or just a sit-down atmosphere) is the best idea because it allows you to talk. Although I love hanging out at a museum, I’m usually motivated to focus and comment, rather than learn something about the company I’m keeping. If that feels too boring to you, then perhaps you can spice it up a little and enjoy those cappuccinos over a poetry reading. Would that be a bit more interesting?
Just make the “coffee” date near a museum. When you do meet, make the initial assessment, then, if things are gravy, ask if he’d like to visit the museum. It gives both of you a way out, and the invite is an indicator to the guy that you do indeed like him.
I agree with Spezza and appleciders. You can always do something after coffee if you find you’re both interested, but if coffee is all it’s meant to be, then you have an easy out.
This is excellent advice. I also think that just the museum is a good idea (provided he’s amenable), because it gives you something to talk about. The whole first-date-talking-about-yourself thing can be so painfully awkward.
Good luck! And good for you for remembering that this dating thing is supposed to be fun!
