Well, apparently the “antiquated and barbaric” thing was only a side issue - he expected to be told no anyway.
I guess I’m surprised that the whole “pay for your daughter’s wedding” thing is still in effect - my mother paid nothing as we told her we expected nothing and were paying for our own wedding. And that we did.
[hijack]My FIL, not long after the news of our engagement - which he spurred on with talk of ‘I want to see you married because I could drop dead any day - but don’t dare elope or you’re disowned’ - told my husband that he hopes we didn’t expect him to pay for anything, because I’m not his daughter. Then as the wedding approached, he bitched about not being included in planning (hello, no one else but us was involved), then offered to walk me down the aisle in the place of my deceased father since he’s a father figure to me. No thanks, and no.[/hijack]
To the OP: Your wife is happy, your MIL-to-be is happy - your FIL-to-be will probably come around. (Probably.) I wasn’t good enough for my husband for quite some time, but things are fine these days. My father adored my now-husband when he was still a boyfriend, but never got the chance to be asked or not asked - I assume he would have been in favor of the match, though.
Just practice the husband’s mantra - “Yes dear, that sounds like a good idea.”