Okay, so about a month ago, the SO popped the question, and I said yes. There’s a rather amusing story behind that, but I don’t have time to tell it here…
…wait, this is my thread, and it’s in MPSIMS, so I do.
We’d been skirting around the question for a while, and it came up one Sunday morning when he was visiting me at school. We came this close to mutually asking in the middle of Bob Evans, but didn’t.
Later in, in my room, he mentions that he’s nervous about something. I, being worried, ask what it is. He says he doesn’t want to tell me. I ask if it was something I did, or is something going on in his life…all concerned and stuff.
Well, he pops the question. My reactions went something like:
(If you couldn’t tell from that little picto-story-thingie, I said yes).
So on that front I’m insanely happy. He’s the greatest guy…and I’m incredibly lucky. And…wow…it’s so weird, especially coming off of my one previous relationship with the 15 year-old emotionally abusive pothead (who, bizarrely enough, I’ve remained friends with).
It’s been great…and it looks like it’s going to continue to be great. Clear sailing.
Dear God, I’m estatic. I just have to say that.
Now, we’d only been together for almost five months at the time–it’ll be six this Sunday–so we agreed that the best course of action would be to discriminatingly tell people. In other words, leaving parents out of the loop for a bit, as well as those “friends” who might not quite have our best interests at heart (though close friends know). Incidentally, I feel comfortable posting about it here, seeing as very few people know my real-life identity, and those who do either already know or wouldn’t give two flying doo-hickies either way.
He’s been increasingly part of my family life over the past month. We went to each other’s Thanksgivings, and we really, really want our parents to meet (his mom and my mom act like they were separated at birth sometimes). We’ll more than likely be discussing Christmas arrangements soon. And…well…
…see, my parents are beginning to suspect. Well, scratch that. My mom flat out knows. She’s my best friend, really, and knows me well enough to know when I’m walking on air. She’d predicted that we’d end up getting married before I’d even told her (needless to say, I told her right after she told me this, and she’s happy for me). My dad, though, also is picking up on it. And I’ve now acquired a gulp ring.
The ring is not exactly a traditional engagement ring, but it is worn on the appropriate finger, and is imbued with the appropriate symbolism. When I come home, the ring is staying on. My dad, odds are, will eventually notice.
Now, here’s the $100,000,000 dollar question: how do I tell my dad?
I’m bursting to tell him. I mean, he’s going to have to find out sometime. And it’s not like I’m going to do something immensely stupid like drop out of school or get pregnant or anything–we’re not getting married until I’ve finished out my four-year (well, three-year with my AP credits) degree. Besides, my dad seems to like my SO.
Thing is…well, this is the same Dad who, when I first started dating my SO, advised me to concurrently date other people so that I could keep my options open. All attempts to explain that that wasn’t how I emotionally worked were fruitless, so I just told him that it would be percieved as slutty, which he understood. I don’t think he wants to see me married for a good, long while.
I don’t know how/if I’m going to be able to explain to him that, yes, I’m 19, but I’m in love, and I know–I know that I’m done looking, that he’s the one.
There’s also the part of me that knows I could lie about the ring. Of course, that would make me feel like shite.
Then again there’s the very large part of me that’s wondering why I’m still worried about what my dad thinks, and that knows that I could get married with or without his permission, seeing as I’m over 18.
So, basically, I’m extremely confused, and I don’t know what to do. I considered posting this in the Pit, but then I realized that really wasn’t the right forum; then I thought about IMHO, but I realized this was probably too semi-ranty and personal. So I figured I’d put it in MPSIMS.
What the bloody hell am I supposed to do?
(I’m still incredibly happy, though <g>)