Yes, Mr. Oreo finally popped the question, and I said yes. Whoopee! I’m estatic, on cloud nine, and deliriously happy. I’ve called all my friends and family and spread the happy news, and I’ve already got my china and silver picked out.
That said, I need advice on how to handle this at work.
See, I work at a company that is largely female-dominated. They LOVE having birthday parties, baby showers, wedding showers, etc. We have, on average, a party a week. There are three pregnant women here at present, and two others who are engaged besides myself. I’m always being invited to chip in on a gift and to attend the festivities (which take place during the lunch hour.)
I HATE THIS!
I hate feeling obligated to buy gifts for people I barely know, and I hate wasting my precious lunch hour oohing and ahhhing over dishes and baby bibs. I think it’s really tacky to invite the entire company (and it’s not a small company–there are about 75 people working in this office) to a shower during work hours just to up the number of gifts given.
So how do I keep them from doing this for me? I’ve been keeping the ring hidden this week because I’m sick and I just want to hide at my desk and not be the center of attention.
But I’m going to have to tell them sometime, especially when I ask for a couple of weeks off for the wedding and the honeymoon. And when I change my name, I think they might suspect something.
Is there any tactful way of saying, “Please don’t throw me a shower, and don’t get me any gifts?” I can’t tell them I think it’s tacky, because they’ve all participated in these things, so it would be the same as calling them tacky to their face.
I refuse to become a part of this vicious cycle! I really don’t want anyone to feel obligated to get me anything (especially all the people here I barely know). If they decide, on their own, that they want to get me something, fine.
I need advice! I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and I don’t want to seem like a bitch, but I also want to stand by my principles, which are that it’s just plain wrong to coerce gifts out of people.
So Dopers, what do you think? Anybody else face this kind of problem?