My arch nemisis had a stillborn baby last week. I saw it in the paper.
I’ve been feeling plenty uneasy ever since. I wouldn’t have wished it on her, but I can’t help feeling that maybe I sent a bit too much bad karma her way.
I don’t know how to explain it. I just feel weird that I feel bad about something that happened to someone that I dislike so much. I didn’t know that I would feel like this about it.
(I got plenty to spare…) You might want to remember that you did nothing to cause the stillbirth, and these things just happen; guilt feelings on your part are not particularly appropriate. It reflects well on you that you feel bad about her misfortune, though. It proves you are a feeling human being (although I’m sure there was no doubt of that). I’m sure you would have helped her if you could; it really wasn’t anything to do with you.
Have you considered sending her a card or giving her a call? You probably hate her guts, but it sounds like you’re still feeling bad for her. I don’t see any harm in letting her know. The way I see it, nothing bad can come of it.
Yeah, all that, plus, did you ever stop to think maybe she made her own bad karma and didn’t need yours? (Not that I’m saying she deserved this. Nobody does. Or even that she brought it on herself. Whatever. I’m babbling.)
WWJD and “love thy neighbor” springs to mind.
He also said what you do to the least will be done to you.
Actually, all I’m saying is send her that card!
You’re already showing the signs of being a great person, finish the job.
cazzle, it’s a normal reaction, but just remember that you ain’t that powerful!
I hate to sound calus and everything, but if she really is you arch nemesis it might be best not to say anything to her at all. She might take it the wrong way. You can still be sad. But only offer condolances if she asks for them.
Naah, give condolences without being asked. It’s the classy thing to do. Just make sure you mean what you say.
Not much to add, but send a card to the poor woman. No way you “caused” this…but a sincere note & card will make you feel better, and I’m sure she’s feeling so lousy that a couple of kind words can’t hurt.
Yeah, I discussed it with Mr Cazzle last night, and we agreed that a carefully worded card might be the best way to go. I want her to know that I honestly feel terrible for her. Once, we were good friends.
I know I’m not to blame, but I feel bad for wishing bad things for her. If that makes any sense.
Its not your falut no matter how much your fear it is, and as far as i understand karma its none transferable, send a card is a good idea, if u can stand it call her even, maybe out of tragedy enemies could become freinds?
Cazzle:
Small-scale version of the same:
The rash on my behind at work lost a dog to cancer recently. I had been avoiding speaking to her forever. I told her that I overheard her say her dog died (she speaks really loudly when on the phone) and offered my condolences. I think she appreciated it, and was the start of better relations, although we’re still not best buds.
But I don’t know how your arch-nemesis became so. If the events were really earthshaking, I don’t know if offering condolences would work. If you examine the reasons you became arch-nemeses, you’ll know for yourself whether it’s the thing to do.
Best of luck and definitely don’t carry the weight on this. Stillbirths happen for biological reasons even if there is a spiritual element to them, and I would think the spiritual element is something between the mother, father, and God.