Thank you all so much for the hand holding. I’m being a silly lala, but the dress fitting made it suddenly real, if that makes any sense.
I showed this thread to my MOH before she left and she laughed at me. LAUGHED, I tell you!
I’m not going to trip, I wear a bigger, poofier, lower cut ball gown to the Marine Corp ball every year (and for dancing practice a couple of times beforehand)and I only fell that one time. Bill won’t be wearing a sword and I won’t be drinking before the ceremony, so I should be OK.
I’m not going to start my period, I’m already on the pill to cover that problem and I’ve always been as regular as can be anyhow.
saje and lavenderviolet, Thank you so much. I’m glad to know that I’m not alone.
apollonian My MOH says to tell you that I will eat. We’ve been BFF for a very long time. She knows that I forget to eat when I’m busy. There will be ample opportunities, our day will start at 10 with a buffet brunch for everyone who wants to eat. Then makeup, hair and stuff. Photos. Lunch at 1 and MOH is insisting that Bill and I will sit down together and spend at least half an hour relaxing. Then dinner at 6. Food will be available, I just need to remember to eat it.
BTW, the dress fitting was much different than I have heard about. The guy who was doing the fitting asked if I was going to change my weight and seemed to accept it when I said I wasn’t. He asked how tight I wanted it and seemed to pay attention when I told him that I wanted to be able to breath and dance. Fingers crossed.
Thanks again for the handholding. This is going to be special because it officially marks the beginning of our new lives together.
There is someone here who takes big cats to events. For a hefty fee, of course. We have talked about having a tiger be our ring bearer. The next day we were sober and agreed that it might not be the best idea.
Cheez_Whia while that sounds like a wonderful idea, I’m going to be dancing in my big poofy dress. I’m wearing comfy white dancing slippers that have already spent time on my feets. I’ll get them re-dyed the last week of June.
Somewhere or other, there is a wedding guide that says something like “Six months before the wedding, you should be fighting about…”, “Three months before the wedding, you should be fighting about…”, etc.
You could probably do the same with freaking out: “Three months before the wedding, you should be freaking out about…”, and so forth.
What you are feeling is normal. I remember waiting in the sacristy, just moments before going “on stage”, as it were, wondering if I shouldn’t just get the hell out of there. That was almost 27 years ago, and we’re still married.
We were all set to have a gorgeous picnic wedding. We rented a nice park shelter with air conditioning and bathrooms, but planned for people to enjoy running around the surrounding gardens during the reception.
It poured rain all day.
My wedding cake arrived BLUE. It was supposed to be white. It was BLUE.
Our ceremony was so short that some guests who were fashionably late missed it.
The sound system went on the fritz.
Nobody would dance.
We were so tired we both went home and went straight to sleep. Some wedding night for us!
Almost four years later we have a beautiful daughter and a beautiful life together, and almost never think about the wedding. In the scheme of things it doesn’t matter at all.
flatlined, if you, Bill and the person signing the certificate show up, you say “I do” and dot your is and cross your ts on the paperwork, anything else that doesn’t go according to plan is fodder for entertaining stories down the road.
Well, heck. I knew we were forgetting something,** BrotherCadfael**. We always forget about the fighting part.
Marks it on the wedding calendar…have a glorious spat about his socks, then have wild make up sex. Before I send the invite to Bill…should I change that to wild semi-drunk make up sex?
We don’t often have semi-drunk sex, but we’ve not done the make up sex thing yet, and I’ve heard that good wine or brandy is involved.
Geeze, I’m too old to be figuring this stuff out now.
Sattua Thank you so much.
I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that the cake makers thought that blue would work for a white wedding cake.
OK, I’ve got it, small amounts of blue make white whiter. I used to have a long haired white cat that I would wash and then rinse with laundry bluing before I took her to adoptions. One day, I put too much bluing in the rinse and she came out blue. I still took her to adoptions and she was adopted that day.
I couldn’t do anything about her fur, but I’ll bet your cake makers could have scraped the frosting off and put new on.
I think I’m almost over the regularly scheduled freak out, thanks to everyone. And to MOH who called Bill and told him that I was freaking out, because I certainly wasn’t going to do it. I have no doubts about being married, and I don’t want my Beloved Butthead to think I do.
BB has been married before and was amused that I was freaking out just about the same time as his first wife did. He told me to look in my bottom desk drawer and when I did, I found some dark chocolate truffles and a love note that he had hidden for me.
The cake…it takes a long time to make them fancy wedding cakes so they usually start in Thursday for a Saturday wedding; paying hundreds of dollars for day old cake burns my biscuits, so we got ours from Costco - still had our names and that on it, looked simple and pretty but more importantly it was fresh. And had 2 pounds of pudding in it. And was $17.
[quote]
[ul][li]Fight over the discovery that bridegroom’s family has not only exceeded its quota of guests, but has provided a list using initials instead of names and terms such as “and family” for children.[/li][li]Fight over whether guests’ requests to bring their current love interests should be honored and who is going to tell people that their small children will not be welcome.[/li][li]Fight over slurs made toward relatives who sent cheap or tasteless presents.[/ul][/li][/quote]
Although I think invitations go out earlier nowadays than they did when this book was printed, so I would probably have the first couple of those a few months ago.
Suggestion: If you’re having your hair done up in something fancy schmancy, do a test run a few weeks prior. Do not think that because it looks great in the magazine or your stylist says “No problem, that will be easy!” that either of those are true. Get it done, have Bill take you out on the town so you don’t waste it.
This is why my sister ended up wearing a lovely Tammy Wynette bouffant, slightly lopsided, when she got married. She was so upset about it, she also got stinkfaced drunk about an hour before she was to be at the church. That should have been a sign.
Yes, yes, yes, always do a hair test-run if you are having an updo or something unusual for you. Any stylist worth her salt who regularly does weddings will insist on it for the same reason–she doesn’t want to be blamed if you hate it/your side chignon makes you look like you have a growth on the side of your head/your hair is too short and it all falls apart while you stand at the altar.
As for wedding gowns…make sure the MOH or bridesmaid or someone is with you at the final fitting. Someone besides you needs to know how the dress is supposed to fit and how all the fastenings work. You do not want to be explaining how to “zip then button then clasp” twenty minutes before you walk down the aisle, or going “I don’t know…is it supposed to gape like that at the neck?” or whatever. And if your gown will have a bustle involved, usually you are not capable of fastening that yourself and that needs to be your MOH’s job. She can learn how to do it directly instead of learning through an explanation secondhand from you.
I’m channeling my mom here, she hasn’t read this thread but if she did I know what she’d say. Make sure you go to your final fitting with the undergarments you intend to wear on the wedding day. You don’t want to have your dress fitted with one bra, then go get dressed for the wedding only to discover the other bra totally doesn’t work at all with the dress! That happened to one of the bridesmaids at my sister’s wedding. Mom had to think quick with a couple safety pins.
Other than that, pretty much what everyone else said. You might find yourself looking at the wedding pictures a few months later and being surprised because you don’t remember seeing so-and-so there.
Any decent seamstress will refuse a fitting (let alone a final fitting) for a wedding gown if you don’t have the undergarments and shoes you intend on wearing that day. Otherwise it won’t fit correctly. Bridesmaids are a little bit easier, but a wedding gown is non-negotiable and no responsible seamstress would do so.
Very good advice. Thank you so much. I’m growing my hair out, so we won’t know how much the hairdresser has to work with until June. Makes note on calendar to have first test run on the first week of June.
I don’t really have a list of things to do, I put the tasks into my calendar so I get notices on my phone. This way I’m not looking at a big list of things that need to be done…STRESS…I just get a few tasks at a time.
This I do know. My Matron Of Honor explained that to me. What a good common sense thing to do, that I would have never thought of. My fitter seemed pleased that I bought the proper undergarments. Thank you for the really important reminder, though.
I’m really hoping that even if I forget who was there, I will have at least spoke to them at least once.
Both very good points. Thank you so much. I’ve learned that getting into a poofy wedding dress is much different than my poofy ball room gown. Satin moves differently than velvet and crinoline.
Sometime before the final fitting, I’m going to break all the rules. I’m going to push the furniture to the walls, put on my dress, play some of the music we are going to be dancing to and practice dancing with my BB.
I don’t, I’m sorry. She wasn’t BLUE , and there isn’t a color to show what I did to her. It was a light blue that shimmered at the edges of her snowy white fur. It was a beautiful effect, heads turned as she strutted around in her cage.
We told the people that adopted her that the effect was only temporary, and that I didn’t remember how much bluing I had put in the rinse, but they ended up being the kind of pet owners who sent a Christmas pic and a check every year. She looked much happier with blue hair than she did wearing hats.
I know that most of what people know about Bill is me talking about him in the Pit. He’s a wonderful man. Thoughtful, considerate and I honestly do love him and I’m bask in the knowledge that he loves me right back.
Heck, he’s been known to feed Steve breakfast so I can sleep in. How’s that for love? That feral cat climbed his head and made him drop his beer, but he’s still willing hold a bowl of gooshy food in has hand and put it in the cage.
Again, thanks everyone so much for the advice and good thoughts and hand holding. From what I understand, I’ll be doing this again about the end of May, so I made a note in my calendar to remember to revive this thread instead of staring a new one.
Those people at the wedding? They want things to go well for you and your BB. They want you to be happy. They aren’t there to point and laugh. They’re there to share you two being happy. They won’t be a tough crowd.
If something glitches, they’ll either be sympathetic, or they’ll shrug it off as part of what happens at weddings.
Besides, the guy beside you is the only one whose opinion matters, anyway. And you already know how he feels.
