I'm getting married next Monday provided...

I getting married next Monday…provided that:

  1. Hurricane Isabel doesn’t hit the Outer Banks of North Carolina. That’s where the ceremony and honeymoon are set to be and I’d just as soon a whirlwind romance wasn’t literally a whirlwind romance.

  2. My co-workers don’t go ballistic. As the manager of a retail store, there’s always some drama going on. However, several of the employees have picked the past few weeks to have an interpersonal meltdown. If I have to fire a bunch of them I leave the store unstaffed during a very busy time, and if I don’t fire them the whole thing may combust into an ugly loud and painful event for the folks who are supposed to be in charge for 2 weeks while I’m gone.

  3. There are no problems at the jail in Manteo. That’s where the Justice-of-the Peace will perform the ceremony. Anyone else out there ever been married at a jail?

  4. I can find some proof of my identity. The lockbox where my birth certificate is supposed to be somehow doesn’t now contain my birth certificate, and my Social Security Card was lost years ago.

  5. My beautful bride-to-be doesn’t suddenly wake up and say, “Gad! I’m marrying a guy whose favorite activity is sitting around constructing puzzles and who works 50+ hours a week in retail. AAAAHHHHHH!!!”

Wish me luck. I may need it.

“God willin’ an’ the crick don’t rise …”

The only suggestion I have is for point 2: Death threats. Tell them they WILL get along until you get back, OR ELSE! (Potential difficulty with this: See point 3.)

Good luck!

Good luck and congrats!

Don’t do it! it’ll be the biggest mistake you ever make! just kidding. kind of. snicker

Seriously tho, good luck. Try not to be too nervous, and when it comes time to say “I do” don’t hesitate. That can cause problems bwahahahahhahaha
Cheers!

Buono fortuna, Biotop! Congrats to you and your bride.

rjk:

I am planning on the death threat tactic tomorrow. While Covey et al. may cringe, I’ve had enough “seek first to understand” meetings and “win-win” discussions over the last couple of weeks to last a lifetime.

Tomorrow it’s going to be: “I am the manager. I have appointed other assistant managers. We have listened to you and your gripes. We have still decided to do things our way. Like it or go get another job.”

Then I’m going to put the mess aside and concentrate on more important things.

I suggest flat out bribery in dealing with your employees. Promise them a whing ding blow out sort of “employee appreciation” party if you get back to a reasonably functional store. Should there be a severe breach of expectations, I recommend random mandatory weekend and holiday overtime rotation for the offenders.

Best Wishes to the Bride and Groom,

Zenster

My last post as a single guy…

Bring it on Hurricane Isabel. You ain’t chasin’ us off the Outer Banks. Bring it on.

  1. The county were you were born can issue you a new birth certificate.
    The federal building can arrange to send you a new SS card (I know, why bother, you’ll just lose that one.)
    Don’t you drive?