I just got laid off today, and if the writing wasn’t on the wall, there was a set of stencils and a can of spray paint by it. It’s easier this time than the last time I got laid off, but it sucks, and you have my sympathy - for what it’s worth.
A few years back, I was unemployed. My brother had just gotten laid off from his first job. The summer was looking bleary. Mom said “let’s do something, anything, rather than stay in and gloom at each other!”
We spent a week in Prague for less money than we would have spent on a week at the beach in Spain itself. My brother got a new job between hiring the trip and going on it (the company had no problems with letting him start after the trip); I got a phone call which ended up leading to my next job (the one in Costa Rica) three days after coming back. We visited a beautiful country, relaxed, had fun together, got Mom to admit that she snored, fell down in the street breaking a favourite pair of trousers (I scrapped my knee through the trousers), saw and scared away a group of pickpockets, and were much fitter for human company after coming back.
Right now I’m self-employed and project-less. I’m trying to go back to school in the fall; I’ve got two short jobs in the cooker right now. If I don’t hear anything from either one by EOB Monday, I’m booking a week in one of Spain’s oldest spas for Mom and myself at the end of June.
Being unemployed doesn’t mean you’re dead. If they can afford the trip, hell yeah they should take it. If they couldn’t, I’m sure Lilith Fair would already have said it.
Winsling and Elza B, sorry to hear about your employment setbacks - best wishes and good luck to you, too! May you both find even better jobs with all the vacation time you need…
Thanks, Elindil’s Heir. Yesterday was one of THOSE days, where we got smacked with $1100 in extra expenses, from dental costs that I thought my insurance would cover (turns out my ins. was maxed - no idea), and my husband’s car broke down, requiring $550 in repairs. So I had a mini-meltdown. But we HAVE the money to cover it, so we are lucky. And today, I am spending the day relaxing (I actually have no car yet - waiting for my husband’s car to get fixed), watching a marathon of Stargate: Atlantis, and completing my resume. I’m realizing in the overall scheme of things, we are incredibly lucky in the financial department, and will be fine. My main psychological hit is happening because I’m leaving a job at a company with a mission that I have, and still, believe in - and leaving a job with the best manager and team I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. I’m grieving that more than the loss of income at the moment - between severance and unemployment, I’m not worried about income, and won’t be worried about income for at least 6-9 months, at which point I hope to have a new job.
Sorry…this is Lillith Fair’s thread - sorry to hijack :o . Just know that I think you should go to Italy, too. I’m guessing you’re in the NE OH area, which is where our house is located (we just rented it out), and I know things are slim there (it’s part of the reason we moved away), but it’s been like that for years now, and I’ve seen people rebound easier lately. Take your Italy trip, enjoy, and come back with a great attitude to find a new job. Best of luck to you.
I temped for about 5 years and got screwed over on vacation. They had a rule. The rule was, regardless of how much you made, they would only pay you $10.00 per hour for your 40 hours…to make it fair to the lesser paid employees. How they figured it was fair is beyond me.
Thanks. I’m not in bad shape at all. There are reasonable odds that in a year or two, I’ll think being laid off was one of the best things to happen to me.
Oddly, I’ve been laid off twice. Both times it’s been a German company that bought the place I worked, and had a mass layoff party some months later. Germany, whatever I did, I’m sorry.
Jeez, starting two world wars and now this… :mad:
Sorry I haven’t been responding.
Northeast Ohio. A suburb west of Cleveland.
What really makes me irate, and I am still white-hot-mad, is that the person who will be taking over some of my job responsibilities has no training or experience in accounting (she is an admin. asst.) and has only worked there @ 3 months and I’ve been there 10 years and have had 10 accounting courses.
The letter just went out. Okay, I’m going to say it. I work at a church. I’m being let go as the finance manager and kept on as the organist, as Kittenblue was saying. The letter to the people is misleading, insulting, and unclear. I was not the only person laid off. One other person was laid off and one person’s hours were cut.
So, the point today is that my husband asked me if I want to be like Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm. Wow. It’s absolutely true. I have been acting just like him for 11 days now. I am really fearful that I’m going to give myself a heart attack or ulcer. No kidding.
It doesn’t matter if they are right or wrong. Besides the fact that we are a “right to hire” State (you can be fired for any reason), it is a church. They can do what they want. And they haven’t even come close to doing anything illegal.
I NEED TO STOP DOING THIS TO MYSELF. Now I want to think of a personal icon and maybe you can help me. In other words, I do not want to be Larry David. Who can I aspire to be? What person, either real or fictional, can I try to emulate that could possbily help me to be a better person?
Do I need the job? Well, yes and no. My husband has a good job right now but he has been on the job market so things have been kind of up in the air. He has no new job prospects at this time.
And the Italy trip has to happen. I need it desperately. We haven’t seen our daughter in four months so it’s going to be fantastic. And hopefully I can really really remove myself from my day-to-day existence, come back refreshed, and be able to train my replacement(s) while trying to move on.
I might take the few classes I need to complete my accounting degree. Checking into that. Having lunch this week with a professional woman who owns her own company–not for a job but as an opportunity to get advice about interviewing, etc. I have plans to go to an employment agency that I signed up with a few years ago to freshen up that connection. And, if I could just keep my mouth shut, it’s possible I could have a connection through many church members who may be able to help me.
So, dopers, who is my icon?
Here is my advice for being able to process this development in your life and being able to stop thinking about it, being emotional about it, and moving on. I developed this technique when I was going through an extremely stressful and emotional time in my life several years ago and was seeing a therapist that used rapid eye movement. Get a jigsaw puzzle, and while your eyes are going back and forth looking for pieces, think about getting fired. Relive it in your mind, and feel all the emotions that you felt then and have felt since about it. Really feel it, experience it, and think about it all you can while doing the puzzle. If you are like me and many others that I’ve taught this to, by the time you have the puzzle together (a 500-piece should do it), you will have processed this event and will be able to discuss it rationally and unemotionally. Good luck with this and with your job search. Enjoy Italy!
Wow, what a weird and fascinating idea. I love jigsaw puzzles! I am definitely going to do this!
Get a picture of Jesus. Every time you feel rage, stab Jesus in the face with a kitchen knife.
…which will make Jesus’ face into a kind of jigsaw puzzle and then you can do as Alice suggested!
Go to Italy. Dolce far niente!
Oops, I forgot to mention the reassembly part. Yes, That’s it!
Maybe a positive way to think about this is that you are being called to do something else? In my church, United Methodist, they move pastors around a lot so there is very much a culture of being called to do different things at different times. I realize you aren’t a pastor, but maybe the idea can apply.
I’ve been involved in some church personnel stuff. It seems like churches, having only a few paid positions, aren’t usually very good at it. Try not to take it personally. And you’re right that people in the church can be a great referral network if you don’t burn the bridge.
Finishing the accounting degree is a good idea. Accounting is one of the better areas to be in right now. Is there a Robert Half temp agency (specializes in accounting) in your area?
Good luck!
Good! IANATherapist, but apparently, sometimes a trauma, which getting sacked definitely is, can get “stuck” in your mind and not get processed, causing prolonged grief and obsessive thinking about it. The therapist that taught me this actually wrote a book about using the rapid eye movement technique, and included my tip about jigsaw puzzles in it! While you’re doing the puzzle, most of the time you’re looking for pieces, which doesn’t use your brain- so you can use your brain to process this trauma and the movement of your eyes really helps it happen. I hope you let me know if it works for you!
The funny thing is, I just bought a puzzle for Lillith Fair and I to do the next time we have a movie and puzzle night! Or for me to do while housesitting…it could go either way. The official letter doesn’t mention that the Admin is going to be doing Lillith’s job…just that volunteers from the various committees will be doing it. And it doesn’t mention why they felt they had to do this right before we change ministers…why it couldn’t wait until the new guy comes in and sees how everything runs.
One other person affected by this realignment has told me that at no time did the committee making these changes talk to any of the people involved about their situations. This is not a soulless corporation that needs to only meet the bottom line…this is a church that can’t have a committee meeting without making sure everyone has been validated and thanked and prayed for. So why, when they are making decisions that not only hurt people’s pocketbooks but their hearts, do they not make those people a part of the process? Why didn’t they consider cutting Lillith’s hours, instead of eliminating the position and then trying to farm it out to volunteers? There were a few staff positions that I just couldn’t imagine needed to be full-time, like the youth director, but the finance person really does have a lot of work to do, especially when we are going to starting a new capital campaign, and buying a parsonage.
I fear that I am already viewing the departure of the current minister with more relief than regret.
And the puzzle has 1000 pieces…
1000 pieces. Oh, I think that’s a mistake. I gave a 1500 piece puzzle to my m-i-l a year ago for her birthday. She’s been working on it since Christmas. Her goal is to finish it before my daughter gets home from Italy. She keeps calling me to come over and help her finish it. But I don’t want to. It’s all down to the greenery.
A couple of more ridiculous things about this: the letter said that the vote of the committee was unanimous. That is BS. How did they coerce those people who have known me and been my friends for 16 years?
And yeah, someone could have come spent some time with me to see what I actually do so they would have a clue, but no one did.
It is a UM church. New pastor being assigned on July 1. I hope I like him.
And the pastor sent an email to staff and leadership yesterday about quashing rumors. She talked about John Wesley’s teaching: do no harm, do good, love God. Okay. Did I do the harm? Hello? What is she talking about? They did the harm to me.
She also mentioned “living and loving you, along the Way.”
What? What Way? Wasn’t I kicked out of the Way into the ditch? But first I have to smooth the Way for someone else? WTF?
Uh oh, I’m getting mad again. I’d better blog myself into smiling.
The minister made some very oblique remarks during her opening announcements about the stress being endured…I was busy wandering around the chancel totally lost and confused over whether I was supposed to be singing or playing bells…I totally forgot in fifteen minutes…and the head of the committee that made these changes was bemoaning the fact that people thought she was not nice anymore. Of course she was sharing that with the wife of one of the other committee members, a woman who truly thinks she knows best in every situation…I swear, there is more drama and intrigue in a church than in any bar.
And there is not much greenery in this 1000 piece puzzle…
I really think what our church staff needs is more testosterone. Women may pretend to be the kinder sex, but I really think all that estrogen needs some tempering.
Yes. Another man would be good to have around. I think.
At one of the staff birthday things, for the man, I gave him Menopause for Dummies. That was pretty funny.