Last Tuesday (one week ago) I was informed that I’m being sacked as of June 30. Well, laid off. Financial difficulties.
I could bore you with the details, but it wouldn’t matter. Yes, I was wronged, in my opinion. So what? Even if they asked me to stay at this point I would not.
I am extremely hurt and angry. But on the other hand I feel kind of thrilled that I’m being forced to move on. And I keep thinking about the parts of my job that I hate and will not have to do any more.
It is very strange to feel good and bad at the same time. And here is the problem: I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.
I know, it’s only been a week. I have many friends, all of whom have been so supportive. My husband is being so good to me. My parents, my husband’s parents, all supportive. But I need to let it go and start moving on and I can’t get this out of my head.
Luckily I have a vacation for the last half of May that was planned quite awhile back. We are going to Italy! So I’ll have two weeks of being immersed in “not my real life.”
I hope that when I get back I can start job-hunting and forgetting. Great time to find a job!!
Any suggestions for letting go of the hurt and anger and trying to look ahead? And I really need to STOP TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THIS. If I was hearing this story over and over I would want the person to SHUT THE F*** UP.
Honestly, if I were you, I would cancel that trip. Now is not a good time to be spending piles money on discretionary items. OTOH, maybe it is bought and paid for and not refundable.
I’m feeling kind of paralysed myself. My job is scheduled to be eliminated at the end of this year, and I don’t even want to take any time off before then. Whatever leave I’ve accumulated I will be able to cash in, and I don’t want to spend money on anything I don’t have to.
I’d say that, for now, you need to give yourself permission to be be unsettled – angry and hurt and freed and excited and whatever else. Losing your job is one of the most stressful things to go through. It’s only been a week, it’s a big deal, and it’s OK to be emotional about it.
The place where I worked closed an entire division with locations throughout the country. We got a few months notice and we’re getting some money to go but only if we stayed until “released”. We’d been through a long period of cutting hours, then the liquidation process, cleaning the place out, etc. so it’s been a l…o…n…g haul.
It’s a few weeks since my last day and although I’ve sent out a few resumes I’m not totally immersed in the job-hunt yet. I’m recovering from being mentally and physically exhausted for so long so I’ve been kind of just vegging out… I need it and know that things will work out in the end.
When I got downsized back in 2001, all the people laid off with me were gloomy and depressed… I was elated. Yeah, bummed out about losing a job. But so damn glad to be out of that not-for-profit world.
I should have left years earlier, but needed that kick in the pants.
Best advice I have is:
Invite friends over for dinner or movie night or something, and tell them beforehand you want people to bitch to about it.
Update your resume and send a bunch out, cold, to any place you can think of. Put your resume on whatever Internet sites are big these days (Monster, still?). Don’t expect a lot of return on this, but it helps moving on by doing something you know is moving you on.
Once you get those out of the way, then maybe take some time to consider your priorities and organize your job search or just veg for a few days.
When that happened to me it came as more of a relief than anything. I knew I needed to get out of there but I had lacked the, well, balls, for lack of a better term, to do anything about it. For the first day I was a mix of happy and sad, but the next day the relief of never having to go back sunk in and I was euphoric. I gave myself two weeks off just to relax and get excited about what would happen next, then on the third week I got an even better job.
Yes, it’s normal to be stressed out and anxious, but I hope you can feel some sense of excitement and adventure. Have you ever wanted to try something different? Now is your chance.
I hope it all goes well for you, and that you have a great experience with this.
I have had several friends who went through this over the years. They all expressed the same concern that you did, about fearing that they brought it up too often, etc.
I just want to reassure you that I, for one, have never minded, and even been honored by, the fact that they trusted me enough to vent their real feelings with me. They all eventually moved forward, and I suppose that after a year or so it might have been too much for me, but it was fine that they needed to talk about it.
Our jobs are a huge part of our lives - often the majority of our waking lives. And change (even good change) is hard. Uncertainty is harder.
When God closes one door, he always opens another - but it surely does suck while you’re stuck in the hall.
Please do everything you can to get a jump on the job search. Get your resume together now, today. Do not get to Sunday without having it ready. When people ask you for a copy, send it immediately.
It is so easy to get into a sort of paralysis about the job search if you don’t jump on it immediately. It’s a little like skipping classes, by the third one you find you can’t make yourself go back. . .
Get pissed off, write letters you won’t mail, blah, blah, blah. Then move on. I was at a “cradle to grave” job (or so I thought) and was laid off back in '93. I thought I was going to end up in a bread line or something. I thought I’d never find a good job again.
Turns out it was the best thing for me. I got out of a job I really wasn’t all that crazy about and have had TONS of opportunities and interesting jobs since then. I’m happy with my job right now, even though I’m in an auto industry-related gig. I’m a firm believer that when one door closes, another one opens. Stay positive and allow yourself to try new things. Try temping. Take a class. Go outside your comfort zone. I know it all sounds so cliche, but you will probably land on your feet. Good luck with your search!
I disagree (but completely sympathize with the sentiment). I say GO and have a glorious time. And then come home and scrimp and face the music etc.
I think this is influencing his advice. Like I said, I sympathize, but you can either sit at home and try to get over this or you can go to Italy and give yourself time and space and a different environment to foment healing. Ciao!
Re the talking about it. Why not start a journal? Write down all the shit and I think you may find that practice to be cathartic (and will take some of the listening burden off your spouse etc).
You don’t express any particular financial concerns or say whether you are thinking about another job, but presumably you want to/need to work. I would be using the next couple of months (minus two weeks) to network with business contacts, join LinkedIn and Plaxo, pulling together any (non-proprietary) work product that I would want in my portfolio. The norm these days is that people get no warning when they are let go, and they’re generally unprepared, so you are fortunate in that regard.
Hurt and resentment are natural reactions but a lot of talented people are losing their jobs right now so you should try not to take this too personally–I mean, don’t second-guess your actions that you think might have led to their decision, because often times it has nothing to do with performance or internal politics. You seem to think they singled you out but even if they suggested as much, that doesn’t make it true.
Every time I’ve ever left a job abruptly for whatever reason, it has turned out to be an unexpectedly great career move. I hope this is the case for you.
She is in Ohio. It is not as bad as Michigan ,but is still a tough job market. Only take the trip if you feel confident about a job or have a lot of money stashed.
Jeez, ya think? No offense, but blowing a big wad o’ cash now and worrying about the consequences later is not a good idea. You are facing a layoff in a time when many more jobs are being lost than created.
I was laid off yesterday, from a job I adore and loved, a company I adored and loved, and although I knew it was coming late last week, I have alternated between being optimistic and breaking down constantly. It wasn’t personal - there were huge cuts made across the board, and it was a massive layoff - but I’m still hurt and angry and scared and all of the other fun stuff that comes along with it. I’ve been crying some, but mostly, it comes for me in the form of anger, and I wish it would come out in tears instead.
I imagine having 2 months to worry over it would be even worse (that weekend where I knew was hell. Pure hell.), but you’ll get through. I am already sick and tired of hearing “It just means something better will come along!” and “Don’t worry, everything will work out!”, and have felt the urge to slap the shit out of anyone who says that to me. Do your best to ignore them and do what YOU need to do to get through.
Best of luck to you. Enjoy your trip if you decide to go!
I lost my job at the end of January. I figured that I would party all through Super Bowl weekend and since they said they’d pay me until the end of February, I was going to treat it like a free month’s vacation. So I just started hanging out.
Here we are, three months later and still no job. I have no motivation, sleep a lot and generally just waste time. Not that I’m here to moan and groan, but the whole slippery slope concept is waaaaay easy to get into. And very tough to get out of.
Enjoy some free time while you can, and Italy sounds great , but be sure to get back on that horse as soon as you can.
And some sort of support (friends, family, whatever) is a big help. Make sure that when you need to whine, you have people there for you. It can really make a difference.
oops…gotta go! Jeopardy! is on! (see what I mean?)
It all depends on how you look at it. My husband is currently out of work, too. We are getting unemployment. I am working 2 jobs. We have no debt except our mortgage. I am going to Iceland for 5 days soon.
Should I go? It might be more prudent to stay at home and keep cranking on the job. But I work 2 PT jobs. I am not missing any days (indeed, I do not qualify for PTO) in doing this. I have not had a vaca for over 4 years. My husband can look for a job the 5 days I’m gone. Nothing will radically change one way or another if I go.
Should I spend the money? Well, I am trying to spend as little as possible. But I need a vacation. I want a vacation. Doing this will help me “face the music” of a probably FT job (which if I get I won’t be able to take a vaca for at least a year).
I do see your POV and a case can be made either way. Since the OP seems to be looking forward to Italy, let her go with a clear conscience.
I think you will be able to let go of it once the Official Announcement on the staff “realignment” is made to the rest of the…ahem, “company” and everyone has time to come up and tell you how awful this is and how much you will be missed. Since you have a secondary position in the same organization that has NOT been cut, albeit a very, very part-time position, it will be awkward for a time to come to “work” and not have an office to sit in between shifts. I just think it was unwise and short-sighted of the current boss to cut and paste the staff a mere few weeks before she herself is reassigned and a new boss takes over. I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps the new boss asked her to be a hatchet man for him…though I can’t imagine he’s had enough time to make any decisions about how best to realign the staff.
And folks, Italy is non-negotiable. Her daughter is studying abroad and they are going to meet her, and come home together. And if she DOESN’T go, then I don’t get to housesit, which means I don’t get a break from my life, and the dog can’t learn to appreciate how good she has it!
This. Last time I switched jobs, it was almost a year since my last vacation and then it ended up being two years before I was allowed to take another one (I was a temp for a year, and then I was hired on permanently. The temp agency gave me two weeks’ extra pay, but they couldn’t make my company actually allow me to take the time off!) And that was when times were good. I can imagine all the jerking around that companies will do to you now…“Just be glad you have a job!”
I’m being furloughed, and am taking a trip during the furlough because I am sick of the “staycation” thing (my last “vacation” involved wisdom tooth removal), and I am pretty sure this is the beginning of the end.
, but be sure to get back on that horse as soon as you can.