Encroacher! Bad wench!
To whom it may concern,
My name is Kythereia and I would like to apply for the position of sex, chocolate and coffee wench…
Could you use 2 snarky, arrogant techies?
I am also excellent at home & Computer repairs, but I hate painting or wall papering.
Plus on weekends I can keep Hal company with the Drinking beer and watching football.
Seems to me the place is getting overloaded with snarky, sarcastic techies. I can balance that. I am snarky, sarcastic generalist. Need a PowerPoint presentation? I can get it done, all the way complaining and mocking your choice of topics, number of slides and bullet points (sorry, mocking the typeface is not in my job description.) How about report writing? I’ll be happy to write a report while muttering under my breath that I’m doing nothing more than cutting and pasting entire sections from old reports.
And by the way, your suit went out of fashion when Miami Vice was cancelled.
I got the kitty treats! You toss a handful of these wherever you want’em to herd, and when they pounce on 'em, you toss in the catnip/tranquilizer. Kitty sleepytime! Just don’t tell Pepper–she doesn’t like sharing her treats!
Missing the point here. I want staff that adore me unconditionally. If sarcasm is employed, it must be directed at mine enemies (for examples, make an appointment with Susie Derkins at her convenience).
Can I be the terrorist? Every corporation needs a terrorist! Can’t let rival CEO’s steal the trade secrets and someone’s gotta keep potential whistleblowers in line. Plus, your secret policeman needs someone to keep him busy.