I'm in the ER waiting for labs and saline hookup. Guess the diagnosis?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Very pleasant man woke me, like nice angel brought me cool pack. Put it on my head, assured me it wasn’t leaking and that it was condensation, and then experienced ammonium nitrate and water in my eye. New level of brief intense liquid pain in eye, surpassing the time I got a taste of my own medicine so to speak, when I touched my eye with a cum-covered finger (for further information search for a GQ thread o OP’ed on why that hurts so much).

Anyway, same nice guy goes to inquire on my status after my wifce asked. (Apparently some sort of big-ass trauma thing was going on–mine shaft explosion? Family in a thresher? Gang warfare?), so nobody’s around. We haven’t seen a doctor or gotten results of anything yet. Guy–a “patient rep” comes back and cheerfully tells us that everything’s moving nicely, surgery’s been notified and is ready.

Cue vapors from Mrs. Bloom, and I’m laughing, as this guy just made a big oops.

Chases down PA. So: update for those playing along at home: white blood cell count at 17, whatever that means, but enough to keep me upstairs and get pumped.

You pass? Ok, next clue, a big one. Hint: is it inflammation or infection (see another, more recent GQ OP of mine where I was brutally corrected in what those words meant, and how it cost me doing the dishes).

Next hint: CT shows “darkening in my bowels.” PA reports: radiologist said nothing, bigger shot said…ready…

Small bowel obstruction. I’m telling you, if it is it’s too much ducking matzo. My wife felt guilty that it was a particularly bad matzo brei breakfast from last weekend. I told her we’ll have to see what pathology dredges up.

So, big shot radiologist calls surgeon. That’s what the silly man misunderstood when he said “surgery is prepared for you.” Surgeon wants to make the call after he pokes me. Note refers to him/her as a department: surgery will be down here in about an hour.

She also said maybe instead of a surge, if indeed I have this whatever, is to suck it out through a tube from my nose down to my stomach.

The surgery sounds better, frankly.

:: I’m using an iPhone and have no idea if I’m triple posting or what ::

22

Photodermatitis

23

Lyme Disease

24

Vorzhon’s dystrophy

25

Cooties. Definitely.

Good luck.

26

Solanum Infection.

27

Small bowel obstruction, huh? Well. You have a diagnosis. They’re working on a treatment. And you weren’t in a mine shaft explosion or threasher. So, marginally better?

Hope they do something not terribly painful and fix things soon. You sound like you’re keeping your sense of humor.

28

Rigor mortis. Or the vapors. One can never be sure.

29

Whatever it is, did it wriggle and jiggle and tickle inside you?

30

The question is why there is a small bowel obstruction, and no matzah brie aint enough to do it.

Based on ethnicity and the presence of one autoimmune disease inflammatory bowel disease has to be considered.

Could be an overcall and be ileus from gastroenteritis.

31

Come back and let us know you’re OK Leo…

32

Hi guys!

You know what the say, “never let the sun set on a small bowel obstruction!” Wiki told me that’s what they say – plus I learned a have a virgin abdomen. Neat, huh?

Anyway, as you can see the sun set and rose and I was undiagnosed with obstruction.

My feverish feelings are down, and for a while you could bounce a nickel off my guts, although it would hurt pretty badly, but the tenderness is less.

I was Flagyl-ated and Cipro dropped all night and day today. Enteritis. Cause unknown. How jejune.

DSeid, and anyone else who may be a real medical person and I forgot to thank, please accept my apologies.

33

My lords, I hope you’ll be better soon.

34

Took a lot of guts to feed us updates in real time. Hope you feel better soon, Leo – and remember, you can colon us any time. :slight_smile:

35

What are the odds on Ebola or some other hemorrhagic virii?

36

I thought you might have been touched with a bit of E. coli…

37

Nothing to thank. Get better. And not sure how many appreciate your campy jejune joke but well played sir!

38

I was about to admire it.

39

I snorted. :stuck_out_tongue:

40

How are you this morning? Did you ever get a diagnosis? (Or did I miss it among all the helpful suggestions?)