I have a friend, a very good friend. I have always liked and admired him. He has a good head on his shoulders and more common sense than many. But lately I’ve been losing respect for him and I can’t seem to help myself. You see, he keeps saying stupid things.
We were talking about a state that does not observe daylight savings time. I mention that it is the silly farmers who think they lose an hour of daylight. My friend agreed with the farmers. I could not convince him that an hour of daylight doesn’t disappear just because we change the time on our clocks.
Another time we were doing a long list of additions followed by a long list of subtractions. We added up the sums for addition, then added up the sum of the subtractions. One of the numbers from the list to be subtracted was left off. I said, “There’s no need to start over again. We’ll just take away 375 (the number left off) from the final result.”
“No,” says friend, “we need to add it.” His logic was that we were adding the numbers to the list of subtractions, so we should add the number to the total. I could not convince him otherwise. He started all over again.
I had a long arguement with him over welfare. He is convinced that 90% of people on welfare are black. I explained that there are not enough black people in the United States for that to be possible. Again I could not convince him otherwise.
I love this guy, we are very close and have been friends for more than 10 years. But I’ve been looking at him with different eyes lately. I don’t want to do that, but I can’t help myself. I find myself thinking, “Boy, your kinda dumb!” Internally, I question everything he says now.
In regard to the daylight saving question, you are both right.
Indeed, you cannot lose an hour of daylight. However, cows can’t read clocks, and will always take their cue for moving toward the dairy at the same time each day, oblivious to our artficial time scales.
Hence the farmers are indeed on the ball when they say they have one less hour of daylight, right when they need it the most, which is early in the morning.
Biggirl what you need to ask yourself is: “has he changed?” If not, then are you judging him by new standards? If he has, why? Is he really any different to what he always was or is this just because he’s disagreeing with you?
One of the toughest things I ever learned was to love people for who they are, or maybe, in SPITE of who they are.
Your friend still has all the same good qualities he used to. Maybe he has reached his maximum potential, while you still have aways to go, maybe not. However, he is still (insert whichever) funny, kind, reliable, sympathetic, and all the things he was before. The trick is to find the wonderful things that are him, and blow off the rest.
Good luck.
I know this is off topic, but I have to say it. DVous, you’re wrong. I’ve worked on farms and can say for a fact that we never lose or gain an hour. When the time change kicks in, we change our clocks, but don’t change our schedules. In your example, let’s say that the cows move toward the dairy at 3 hours after sunrise. 3 hours after sunrise is going to be the same the day before the time change and the day after(approximately). We don’t lose any time, we just don’t follow the clocks. Make sense? We always have the same amount of daylight, give or take a little. However, if cows could read clocks and were inclined to work by them, then yes, the schedule would be thrown off.
the other stuff you mentioned might be annoying if the guy is your partner in a school project, but otherwise, shrug.
This one gave me pause. It’s such a stereotype, inaccurate, etc. and has the added benefit of being a racist and elitist stance. are there other examples of that?
How? Maybe he read that somewhere, and is just defending what he read. I don’t see how that’s racist.
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Exactly, “your” farm. Maybe it doesn’t work that way on his. On “my” farm in particular the cows do come up every day at the same time. Dark or light, daylight savings or not, they know when they are hungry.
Just try to see it from all sides. Not flaming or attacking. Just defending the underdog which is my nature.
Um, I hate to say it, but it’s entirely possible that 90 percent of people on welfare are black.
No, I’m not making racial or value judgements. I’m looking at the arguments you both made. He’s saying 90 percent of people on welfare are black. You say there’s not enough black people in the U.S. to make that possible.
The number of black people in the U.S. has no bearing on how many people are on welfare. If there are 10 people on welfare in the U.S., and nine of them are black, then indeed 90 percent of people on welfare are black. Dunno what the actual welfare statistics are, but since unemployment is hovering around four percent right now, I’d say it’s possible his statement is true. It’s also possible that his statement is false. But arguing against him based on the number of black people in the U.S. is specious at best.
But if 18% of Americans are black, and 25% of Americans are on welfare, it is statistically impossible for 90% of Americans on welfare to be black. Even if every African-American were on welfare, that’d only be 80%. So, depending upon how many people are on welfare, arguing with him based on the number of black people in the U.S. is not necessarily specious, and quite possibly very valid.
Anyone have real numbers on total welfare rolls and racial make-up?
Sauron. I’ve worked in the system. Even a system like the correctional one, where blacks are ** extremely ** over represented is (last I checked locally) about 55% black, 10% hispanic, 40% white (varies some what from state to state).
the concept that the welfare system is made up of prodominately black people who have lived their lives on welfare is commonly held, but, factually incorrect. When my company operated a program for 2 years dealing with welfare recipients and getting them into the work force, the break down was about 40% black, 55% white and 5% other. In addtion, about 80% had been on welfare for less than 2 years.
Generally speaking, when some one asserts a statistic that has no basis in fact, one that has some negative connotation, on the basis of race, I think the term “racist” is appropriate.
Y’know, if I’m gonna butt my head in here regarding the statistics, I should at least deal with OP. Only polite.
Biggirl- (wait a second- what happened to Pink Slinky? Did I miss something?) I know exactly where you’re coming from. The two people I considered my best friends four years ago are now people I want nothing more to do with if possible; they have proved themselves not only petty, vindictive, and destructive, but have also proved that they have no interest in actually changing the way they deal with other people.
It’s just a matter of ever-changing perspectives. As you continue to hang around this guy, the obvious examples of his stupidity accumulate until eventually you realize that he’s a dumb-ass. And whereas before what his friendship offered you outweighed his dumbassosity, or examples were so infrequent that they seemed the exception rather than the rule, now his dumbassosity outweighs the other elements of his personality and friendship, and he’s been a dumbass enough that the conclusion was inevitable.
Personally, I think it’s better to always keep an open mind and re-evaluate your opinions rather than cling to a destructive idea or friendship just because it seemed so right so long ago.
I think this may be the key, here. It’s not that your friend just got dumb.
It’s that you have suddenly become MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT.
So, uh, when this this start? Have you changed your diet recently? Been exposed to any oddly-glowing meteorites? Bitten by any radioactive spiders? Or is it since you started posting on the SDMB?
Ignorance is not necessarily a big problem in friends, so long as they are open to information. It would change the way I looked at this friend if he consistently held easily disprovable notions, and refused to acknowledge the offered proof.
Here’s an example: some kids at school were saying there is a bomb that could blow up half the world. You know, like in a cartoon where one half of the spere remains spinning in space. My son, who has quite an interest in military history, says, no way, and starts to discuss the reality of nuclear weapons. Once the kids realize this bugged my son, they started to tease him about it. It got to the point that we talked to one of the ringleader’s parents. She said, “How do you know such a weapon does not exist? Can’t the kids agree to disagree?”
We were flabbergasted. We did not consider this a matter of faith or interpretation where reasonable people could differ. And since then, I can’t think of this woman without thinking she is an idiot.
I agree that the 90 percent statistic is laughably false. I’m just saying that arguing against it based on the number of black people in America isn’t the way to attack it.
Based on the figures provided by Mr. Cynical, approximately 5 million people in the U.S. received welfare in the recent past. That’s approximately two percent of the population. If there were 4.5 million black people in the U.S., and every one was on welfare, then indeed 90 percent of all welfare recipients were black. Is every black person on welfare? Of course not. But in theory it’s possible that 90 percent of all welfare recipients are black.
I KNOW the person’s argument that 90 percent of the people on welfare are black is wrong. But trying to disprove it by using incorrect statistics is wrong, too.
It’s quite possible your friend is becoming less intelligent. There are a number of factors that could be at work. Has he been doing a lot of partying lately? Could be drugs – I always thought I was brilliant when stoned, but am assured by my non-partying SO that it’s just not so. Is he going through a stressful period (breakup, move, new project or job)? Stress can cause illogical thought patterns. Any relevant family mental health problems? Other medical issues? The brain is a mysterious organ in many ways.
Of course, it’s entirely possible he’s always been on the left side of the bell curve, and you were too self-absorbed or ignorant to notice (no offense intended).
I’ve had good friends who got involved in offshore investments, Amway, heroin, Mormonism, Born-agian Christianity, etc. It seems like sometimes, otherwise normal people just do stupid things.
Remember one thing, BigGirl: It’s OK to have friends who aren’t as intelligent as you. If we divided socially into IQ Groups, it would be a Brave New World indeed.
But I can understand how frustrating it is to have a friend who is so wrong and blind to it. I’ve dated Republicans and Southern Baptists before ;), and it made me want to tear out my hair.
Danalan, “and you were too self-absorbed or ignorant to notice (no offense intended)?” How could no offense be intended with a statement like that? What you should have said was, "It’s entirely possible he’s always been on the left side of the bell curve, and you were (choose one: too hot for him / too high or drunk / too far to his left on the bell curve) to notice.
).