Welcome to the SDMB! You say you lurked long enough to understand what goes on here… and still joined? Mmmm. Not a good sign.
Welcome, none the less 
Welcome from a fellow Bergen County resident.
Why? 
After all, There is no sheep.
The calamari was cancelled.
There is no need for lubricants.
This is not a Torture Room. It’s a Parliamentary Library.
That noise is nothing.
You are Perfectly Safe.
Here’s your margarita - I made it a double. You’re going to need it. The cat hair won’t hurt anything, it’s just a garnish.
A masochist says “Hurt me!”
A sadist says “No!”
That’s what I always hear, but do I get any action? 
Are those… tentacle marks?
Alright. Enough of this namby-pamby socializing with the n00b. Bring forth the
COMFY CHAIR :eek:
Dear, God, no. Not the COMFY CHAIR! :eek:
Awesome User Name!
Welcome to the Boards! What finally brought you out of the proverbially closet and into the Light and Truth of The Dope?
Welcome. I assure the pain is only momentary and one day you’ll thank us for it. You are getting sleepy. There are no goats here…nary a goat. The noises that you think you hear behind you, the power saw, the hideous high-pitched cackling, the sudden smell of chunky peanut butter…none of that is real. Just relax. This doesn’t take long. There’ll be no lasting scars.
O-kay. I think he’s ready. The wasabirita did it’s job.
Get him!
Now – you will stay in the *Comfy Chair * until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven.
Welcome to the boards. I got here a few weeks ago, and I am still sore from the hazing. Oh, and Snakescatlady makes the best 'ritas.
-Otanx
::blushes, curtseys::
Thank you!
No! No! hides in horror Anything but that!
Yes. And there will be …biscuits, as well. 
Anyone called the Flying Cow of Doom is OK in my book. Welcome!
My advice is to stay seated, they can’t get to the hurty-parts if you don’t stand.
Yeah, right, like no one’s ever tried that. :rolleyes:
Based upon what I read while lurking, I figured that I was going to have to endure some sort of torture as a result of posting on the boards. I’m not a masochist, I’m just trying to get it all over with now.
–FCOD
p.s. Excellent 'rita