What do they do? Do they kidnap you, and tie you up in a hotel and force you to have sex for days on end with beautiful women until you cry uncle?
…because if any of you gay guys need a stand in…
…or maybe I should just start wearing paisley.
BTW, I will have you all know that I recieved the highest honor from one of my flaming, used to be a drag queen friends.
I was told I was the cutest little hetero in the bar, and I had the most wonderful breastesses! Then asked if he could touch them.
His husband of 15 years just rolled his eyes and laughed.
Now he won’t leave them alone. Doesn’t like women, just breastesses.
I can never go to Mary’s (name of their bar, go figure) without being assulted.
What a rush!
Lissener? Inspired. 
Esprix
Damn you, Lissener! A turkey sandwich was never meant to fit through my nose!!
[sub]And I’ve got a pretty huge honker…
Looking at the listing of Pit threads just now, I saw
"I’m NOT a homophobe, but…"
and right below it
"I have serious wolf-ass"
Put them together.
Well, I thought it was funny.
Oh brother…::sigh::
>>>Since you seem to know so much about me (since, after all, I’m gay, and that seems to be enough for you to know), perhaps you missed the fact that I find myself sexually attracted to Sophia Loren and Jeri Ryan. Ooo, shock of all shocks, eh? So when speaking of breasts, Jeri Ryan’s as Seven of Nine on Star Trek: Voyager are stupendous, if I do say so myself. <<<
Esprix,
You are correct.I know extremly little about you personally and your lifestyle.Why the hell do you think I asked the (poorly phrased) question to begin with? Relax,it was not my intention to persecute anyone.If you read my last post yesterday I said that I think I received an answer to my question.I can see Fenris point that reading/posting would be a social thing.I’ve noticed many people use this forum just to chat/make friends.I tend to use the board differently,I use it for it’s information and entertainment value.I make my social connections outside…in the world,I really don’t use message boards for socializing.
I just got to work after spending a gorgeous day in the park with my wife and our young daughter.It’s nice out…go outside…walk in the park…meet some people!
I agree 100%, Jeri Ryan is a magnifigant specimen.I recently saw an interview of hers.She’s a sharp cookie too!
Thank you for your time
Rich
Gee, now you know how the rest of us feel about you. :rolleyes:
That’s a question we’ve all been wondering the answer to. Whatever pretenses you posted under, I sincerely hope the impression you’ve gotten back from this thread show you how misguided they were.
Suggesting to people not to post in threads you deem inappropriate for them to post in - how is that not persecutory?
Not to slight Fenris in any way, but so what? Perhaps it was sexual, or anthropological, or religious, or just plain curiosity - so what? Do you need to know the motivation of every poster behind every post? The point is, just because you can’t see why someone would find something interesting is no reason to suggest they shut the fuck up about it, n’est-ce pas? As I’ve pointed out with your own posts, there are obviously things you are interested in that make no sense to me, because, like you don’t know me, I don’t know you. But because I’m gay, you seem to imply that you do, and make a lot of presumptions (hence your new middle name, “Presume”).
How wonderful for you! We don’t care.
And once again you presume to know something about me which is not true, i.e., I spend all of my time here and no time persuing a life. Sadly, and predictably, you are grossly mistaken, so, because of this absurd presumption, I’ll throw a hearty, “Fuck you!” your way.
Want to shove that foot just a little farther down your throat, or is your head blocking it, being so far up your ass and all?
Esprix
Two additional notes: First, by mentioning your wife and child you are once again flaunting your heterosexuality. Please do not shove your sexuality in my face, as frankly I don’t care to hear about it. We all know you’re straight, ok? Just keep it in the bedroom where it belongs. (Is this sarcastic reversal working on you yet? It’s getting boring.) Second, before anyone brings up my thread about posting to months-old dead threads, I’ve already recinded the comments I made, and, after reading this atrocity, I doubt you’ll hear me complain again any time soon (although thread content and age could be seen as two seperate issues, but I digress).
Esprix
Ok Esprix you get your wish! You get to be a martyr for the homosexual cause. My middle name is Presume? I’m not going to give you the pleasure of stooping to your level and renaming you,although SEVERAL come to mind(and none dealing with your sexual preference).With as many posts as you did in a year you are OBVIOUSLY spending alot of time here,no presumptions neccessary.I tried to be civil and perhaps learn a thing or two.I’m not wasting any more time conversing with you.I have to find my white hood and sheet.
Personally,you can go pack sand.Get a life.
I am a-twitter with confusion. My boyfriend has man-boobs, and I (a straight woman) like them. The only other person I saw in the man-boobs grouping was matt - but since we are of different genders and orientations, are we allowed to speak? If so, what happens when we come to an akward pause?
I imagine it like this:
Me: I like man-boobs.
Matt: Yeah. Me too.
::crickets::
Meanwhile, since I am utterly tone deaf, I will be banned from lurking on the show tunes thread, where all the fun is. Not that I don’t enjoy reading matt’s posts and all, but much as I like man-boobs there’s only so much to say. Help! Where do I go now?!
Oh, wait… I see an opening in the sarcastic bitch forum.
Hey, Rich? Esprix and I registered at about the same time, and I have accumulated approximately one quarter the number of posts he has. Does that mean I’m worthy of four times the respect the you accord him? Or is there another algorithm you’ve worked out? I’m trying to figure out what the variables would be, but then I guess it’s pretty clear from what you’ve posted (in your rare and precious posts! Don’t use ‘em up!) that you don’t acknowledge any variables: you very clearly judge everyone by one single set of rigid standards. I assume that standard is you. Is there a guide published somewhere, a brochure or a map or something, so I can be sure to avoid any future missteps? Or do I just bungle around in the dark—contributing too much to this message board, spending too little time in the park, etc.—and just hope that you notice in time to illuminate the error of my ways?
I crave your guidance. I’m sure we all do.
** Rich: **Do you mean it this time? Are you going to stay gone? I don’t think you need more time here—it’s all been explained to you with more patience than I could ever muster, and I taught preschool for 7 years.
Breasts are wonderful. They can and should be enjoyed by all and I am pleased to foster Doper appreciation of such.
Nice dodge - instead of actually responding to the things said to you and actually, perhaps, learning something from them, you create a straw man, set it ablaze, and run away with your fingers in your ears yelling, “La la, I’m right, you’re wrong, la la!” Pity it doesn’t work here at the Straight Dope. And the day a small person such as yourself is worth “martyring” over is a sad, sad day indeed.
Yes, I am obviously spending a lot (two words) of time here, but, again, you’re presuming to know why. Would you like to know why? It is because my job affords me approximately half of my work day with free time - no work to do. Without the internet, I would be quite, quite bored. Having found the SDMB and it’s cut above crowd (present company excepted, of course), I find the most enjoyment reading and posting here. I also type 123 wpm, so posting a lot doesn’t take nearly as much time as it would your average typist. So my high post count has very, very little to do with the way I live my life. See where presumptions get you?
Ah, the final, angry retort of someone whose arguments cannot stand to scrutiny. I bid you adieu, and good riddance.
I don’t.
Esprix
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Esprix *
**
**
A hundred and twenty three words a minute! :eek: I can barely manage about 60. Maybe. Good fuck, you must have nimble fingers! Someone either is or will be very, very lucky to have you around! 
I hate having to ask this. I apologize in advance for asking…but…pack “Sand”? Wha? Sand?? I’ve heard the derogatory “fudge packing” phrase, and in a gross, crude way, it makes a bit of sense. But sand? What the hell is that supposed to mean? What does sand have to do with anything?
Fenris
Damnit, you know I was going to use this very line on myself but some breast thoughts distracted me. Although I am more of an ass man myself, but no matter. (On the other hand does this mean one is, if one visited MPSIMS, forbidden to post to breast threads?)
(Added note, those using the phrase “homosexual cause” in reply to this particular thread and Esprix should rethink their self conception as not “homophobic.”)
PS: since I am pissed (have I ever mentioned how much I love friends visiting Cairo bearing liters of vodka?) I wish to throw gasoline on the fire… actually I kinda forgot what I was going to write. Never mind.
Fenris: I think the proper phrase is “go pound sand,” and it isn’t meant as a sexual slur. I don’t know the actual entymology, but my WAG is it originally had something to do with chain-gangs.
Oh, and it basically means “fuck off and don’t bother me.”
My mother used to say pound sand. It’s like saying go suck eggs, or go fly a kite.
I once posted in a stupid thread just to watch it die.
Well, you’re at least being honest sartorially.
Now… can we use you as the entertainment for the next homosexual cause fundraiser? I think that you would be a FUCKING HOOT!
Do you have a tight 15 minutes on being a white hooded imbecile?
You can go pack a lunch and get a CLUE. My god, the last time I saw someone has dim as you, they were on life support in a coma.