Couple things:
On the OP- I agree with the person who said you were classy. The 30-seconds of silence is way more effective than most words could be. If she didn’t get it THEN, she wouldn’t get it if it hit her upside the head with a brick. The fact that you did not actually VOICE your thoughts shows a restraint of character that speaks well of you.
On being a NG- There are different factors to consider, because there really are a wide variety of NGs.
There are NGs who are unattractive in every other aspect, and their NGness is their best (or only) quality. Sorry kids, you need more than one quality to get a woman. Being strong in some areas will make up for being weak in others, but not ALL others at the same time!
Example:
Ugly, poor, boring, wimpy, nice - No chicks
Ugly, poor, intelligent, wimpy, nice - Maybe
Average looking, poor, intelligent, wimpy, nice - Sometimes
Average looking, could-be-richer-but-poor-due-to-higher-priorities, moderately intelligent, go-getter, nice - will get chicks, usually people who share priorities with you
Ugly, rich, intelligent, wimpy, nice - will get some women if you have the balls to ask them out
Average, average, fun, go-getter, nice - great guy!
Average, rich, fun, go-getter, nice - Dream boy!
Hot, rich, fun, go-getter, nice - Bigfoot. If you’re all that and a bag of chips, your chances of actually being nice are slim, and if you are, you’re probably not reading this thread, you’re off to some romantic destination with your wife.
Anyway, the point is, no one item will make or break you. Look at the whole spectrum of who you are. Being nice only is not enough. Are you interesting? Why not? Are you too busy pushing your “niceness” by making her control the conversation? We don’t want you to be a complete dick, but if we control the entire conversation then you come off as an uninteresting pussy. Have some interests! For my part, the men I’m MOST attracted to are the ones who are more intelligent than myself. I simply cannot abide a stupid man. But how do I know this? I’m not psychic!
We start with a question, say, about the economy. I start talking about p/e ratios and how emotional trends have made stock XXX a good buy. If you aren’t asleep yet, you probably should respond with something like “But what about <factor A> and <factor B>?” And why you do or do not agree with my assertion - don’t shoot it down (eg: don’t be a prick) but don’t sheepishly agree with me if you really disagree. Who knows, I may not have a key piece of information you do, I will respect you for knowing it. Then you could say “I’d look more at stock YYY and ZZZ, because their industry is better suited to current market trends blah blah blah baby boomers retiring blah blah blah”
Here’s another example: You say “Do you like plays?” I either say I’ve never seen one, total snooze fest, love dramas, or perhaps I say “OMG yes! My favorites are Les Mis and Phantom! And just last week I saw a great amateur production of Oklahoma! What’s your favorite?” Let’s say you’re not really into musicals, but you do like a good Neil Simon comedy. You respond, “well, I’m not really into musicals, I saw Cats and never went to another one again.” I respond that Cats is not a good example and suggest plays you should see, perhaps Miss Saigon, and go on to describe the pathos and historical significance as well as the fact that there’s a helicopter on the stage at one point. You wait till I’m finished, then, not wanting to go on about musicals, you ask if I’ve ever seen Neil Simon’s “The Foreigner” and start to relate the storyline and descriptions of the way he uses humor to illustrate a social point. We have officially and respectfully disagreed as to our favorite type of play, yet you have managed to come off as an interesting person who can discuss things intelligently.
You could do the same for sports. ASK her what kinds of sports she likes. If she says she doesn’t like any, you say “Oh, well, I like baseball. So, do you like plays?” If she says, “I like hockey” and you’re more of a baseball fan, you could say “I never could get into hockey, what do you like about it?” (It should be noted here to say that in an interested tone of voice, not a disapproving or condescending one). She goes on to describe her favorite team, the finesse of certain skaters, a certain team rivalry, etc. You say, “maybe we could go some time and you can teach me all about it” You’ve just shown that you’re interested in exploring something further, not to mention interested in learning more about her. Note: do not spend all game trying to make out with her, if she likes the game she probably doesn’t want to miss it. Be engaged, try to be interested, and for heaven’s sake, take her out afterwards and make your move there!
If the conversation drags, try asking something open ended, like: If you could travel to one place you haven’t been to yet, where would it be and why? She answers, then you get to answer. It’s good to know ahead of time what you would answer, because “I don’t know” is boring. And “Brazil for Carnivale - because the babes are hot and everybody’s partying and getting drunk” is not a good answer (for most chicks)
The point is, to get someone interested, you have to be interesting. To be interesting, you have to have interests.
Being into online message boards is not necessarily going to make you look bad as long as you can give real reasons for it. Saying, “Oh, I have nothing else to do, so I read message boards” is going to make you seem like a dork, but if you say, “well, I read board X, the discussion there mainly centers around <blah blah blah>, and board Y, where the discussion varies, you could talk about everything from blimps to heated political discussions, and occasionally I read board Z, but only for <blah>”, then you will come off as having some interests, as well as (you hope) some intelligence.
"I don’t know" is unattractive. As in, where should we have dinner? “I don’t know…”>:( What’s your favorite movie? “I don’t know…”>:(
"Nothing" is also unattractive. It means you have no opinion. Having no opinion is a sign of disinterest in the subject. That’s okay once or twice over a whole evening -maybe. But you’re better off to have an opinion, even a disagreeing one, than not to have an opinion at all. If she says, “What kind of tv shows do you watch?” and you don’t watch tv, don’t just say “I don’t watch tv” - say WHY. Try “I don’t usally watch tv, but I do go to the movies. Have you ever seen an independent film?” You don’t have to get overly cranial about it either, remember the credo about being yourself. Tell her, “well, I don’t really watch tv, BUT I do get a kick out of some really stupid movies. Do you like Adam Sandler?” (if you’re going to be self-depreciating like this, be sure it’s with a humorous overtone, not a self-loathing, begging-not-to-be-disliked tone.) She may like the stuff you like, but find it cute that you’re embarrassed to like it. If she’s cranial about it (first of all, are you still interested in her?) then you give reasons that you like movies you know are stupid. Perhaps it lets you relax after a long day doing your job. Now you get to talk about your job with her. Be sure and let her tell her job stories too, she’s bound to have a few.
Man, I hope this helps…