Like Meatloaf sang, two out of three ain’t bad. I also have a terrific sense of humor, a large collection of meat cleavers, and a wife who could always -------------- Well, lets just say you and I could work out something. 
I’m taken, but if you’re loaded, we can talk.
P.S. - I cook, do the laundry and shopping, and can fix anything, even the Crack of Dawn.
Prince Can Do Electric and Doesn’t Leave The Kitchen Looking Like A Battlefield would be nice, but frankly the big thing would be Prince Likes My Crazy And I His.
I neither provide nor expect gourmet cooking, but I do expect the ability to get breakfast for himself and keep me fed if I’m sick (heated-up broth-in-a-box and boiled rice doesn’t seem like that much to ask, but I’ve known people who couldn’t do either).
Avoid any that are willing to kiss corpses and have plans to marry any who reanimate.
We split things up amicably. I do 50% of the cooking and 90% of the bar-keeping. They are her horses, so she mucks the stalls. However, I do the 5 am barn chores on Mondays and when she is traveling for work. I care for the dogs, parrot, and tortoise. She cares for the parakeet flock and waters all the plants.
She does most of the weed whacking and trim mowing, while I do the tractor mowing. I do all of the chainsaw work, but she periodically brings me a beer and reminds me to be careful. I captain the pontoon boat while she acts as first mate.
Prince Useful
My dream man is Mr. Clean. He will clean my whole house and everything that’s in it.
Fifteen beagles? Wow! Since they’re not pets, they’re obviously not kept in your home. Do you have a kennel building?
Sorry. Off-topic but fascinating.
On topic: Charming-schmarming. I’d go for kind.
These kind of threads always amuse me! Unasked, the men feel the need to point out how equitable their households actually are, and how they contribute. And while I find it wonderful that they’re making a contribution and feel good about it, I’m always left wondering one thing.
Who’s cleaning the toilets at your house? It’s nice you do this or that, and it’s def a contribution to the cause. But, to my mind, if you’re not doing 50% of the toilet scrubbing, your ‘contribution’ is hardly ‘equitable’.
I can’t wait to hear how the wife, ‘is better at it’, ‘expects it clean to her standard’, or ‘doesn’t really mind’ ! HaHaHa !
(Whenever I hear men boasting about how great a husband they are because…, I am always biting my tongue, dying to ask, ‘How many toilets in your home? And how often do YOU scrub toilets?’)
I do the upkeep on my bathroom, she does hers. On any given day, her bathroom is cleaner than mine. Our third (guest) bathroom is hardly ever used. I’d guess that she occasionally cleans it.
Pretty often actually, I’m a bit fussy with that.
I’m dying to ask , how often do you change a flat tire, replace an outlet or switch, shovel the driveway, fix the roof,you know that kind of stuff?
Pretty often?
You’d guess she cleans it?
Kinda weak tea, in my opinion.
Does doing upkeep, mean you’re 100% cleaning it? Or just wiping up now and again?
Changing a flat doesn’t happen anywhere nearly as often as a toilet needs cleaning, for one thing. Plus I have a service for that. I do all home repair or hire who does, again, no where near as frequent. I do all shovelling and yardwork too!
But I’m not the one thinking things are equitable because I change a tire, when someone else cleans the toilets consistently throughout year after year.
Hire a maid.
No thanks. Not even if a genie came out of them.
The house cleaning service. They also fold the toilet paper ends into fancy points like at a hotel (usually, they also have to take it off the back of the toilet and actually put it on the holder).
My wife and I didn’t start living together until we were in our thirties and had both lived on our own for a long time before we moved in together. Unlike people who get married young, we were both fully formed and knew how to take care of ourselves before we ever lived together.
Male, married 5 years, together 10ish. We have 2 girls - 3 month old and 3 years old. And two dogs. This topic is always the biggest point of contention between us.
I do all the cooking. When we first started dating and eventually living together she helped more often but still it was 90% me. This year, in my wife’s annual “bucket list” that she makes for herself each new year she added an item to cook a meal for her family once a month. Yes, cooking one meal once a month is what she considers “bucket list”. Yes, it pisses me off that the best she could offer was one meal, once a month for a family of 3 (the newborn doesn’t count as she’d not eat it). This lasted until April. 4 meals in 4 months. Not once since.
We own a 4500+ square foot home, 5 bedrooms, 3 1/2 baths. Keeping a house of this size clean isn’t a small task. I do nearly all the cleaning, outside of a token half-assed effort for a day or two that she may put in after a large argument over the inequity in work managing our household. Yes, that also includes cleaning the bathrooms - scrubbing toilets, scrubbing shower walls/grout, cleaning mirrors and sink basins. A couple years ago, her solution to this constant pain point between us was to hire a cleaning service to come in once a month without any discussion with me first. Great, sorta. From what I see, this now gives her even further excuse to do nothing at all the rest of the month because “we have cleaners”. Secondly, I had no problem with hiring cleaners IF between the two of us and with the kids we could not keep up with the housekeeping but that was never tried because she won’t do her share of the housework. She sees hiring monthly cleaners as solving a problem. I see it as her just finding a way absolve herself of any responsibility for the work needed to maintain the home.
I also do all the laundry. All of it.
I also pay all the household bills, with exception of the monthly house cleaning, from our joint account. A joint account where none of her money is located. I earn more than her so I don’t expect a 50/50 split in household expenses. She is also a college educated professional earning a 6-figure salary. She recently also took on daycare costs with the addition of our 2nd, which is not an insignificant amount, but there has been at least 7 years prior to kids where again i shouldered nearly all of the “shared expenses” of living together.
Oh, and you know… we don’t have sex with any frequency at all.
Do you hear the years of built up resentment?
You want Prince Charming? I want a reasonably equitable relationship where I don’t feel like “the hired help”. What I have is “The Worst Roommate Ever”. If it wasn’t for our girls, I would probably have pulled the plug by now and I still worry that is exactly where we’ll end up anyway. I don’t want that, if no other reason at this point than for what it would do to our girls. I still love her, I want to be her husband. But I’m just so tired of this situation. The irony is that if any of my wife’s female friends went through these same complaints above about their husbands, every single one of them would sympathize and vilify the bastard of a boyfriend/husband.
MeanJoe
By pretty often I mean 90% of the time, yes actual cleanser, and scrubbing, soaking, brushes, hands in the bottom of the bowl, the whole nine yards…
As far as equitable, that’s something you brought up , not me.
I answered your question, about toilet cleaning, which I do, as well as cooking etc which you find humorous when men mention they do it.
What I attempted to point out, is that while men are doing at least some of the “womans” work, you don’t hear about much of the opposite , women doing “mans” work.
As far as equitable, there is very little of that anywhere, in any capacity imo.
I don’t think that the frequency of something equates with its importance.
I’d rather live for a few days with a dirty toilet than a few days without water because I can’t replace/fix the pump.
Anyway it doesn’t much matter either way, nice to hear you’re handy, as well as a first rate toilet cleaner, it’s always useful to have varied skills 
I am honestly and sincerely impressed. Not a lot of men do actual toilet scrubbing, just as few women do all the yardwork and shovelling. You deserve credit for that def!
I mention it only as it’s possibly THE ugliest routinely done household chore, and I think it’s hilarious that many men just brush over it with a ‘Well I can change a tire!’. Yeah, once in a blue moon, no head in toilet required!
This confuses me. How dirty can a toilet get that someone needs to put their head in it to clean it?
Yeah, I use a sponge-on-a-stick tool made by the Clorox people, IIRC.The sponge is disposable. Every few weeks/months I also remove the seat (it’s a quick release) and scrub it separately.
I do my bathroom, and it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. I’d never want to do random toilets in a motel or rest stop, or even my gf’s toilet, but my own is a breeze.
Yep I hear you.
I did say I was a bit fussy about it.
After you live by yourself for a while you discover there are no elves dropping by of an evening for some light cleaning duties, unfortunately.
Have a good day.