I also clean our bathrooms, mostly because I don’t think it is that big a deal. I was a kennel boy for my dad the veterinarian, so poop doesn’t bother me, so scrubbing the toilet is just another chore. So maybe I am Prince Toilet Brush.
The only hard line I draw is that my wife doesn’t get to be Queen Tell Me How to Do It. The tub, sink, toilet, floor and mirrors are clean, and there are fresh towels and your make-up and various magic beauty potions are put back neatly on the shelf where they belong. What I did with the towels before I threw them in the laundry is Not Your Concern. The mirror and the floor are clean, aren’t they? You’re welcome. Now drop it.
I am also Prince Cook on the Weekends, Shovel the Snow, Rake the Leaves, Trim the Trees and Bushes, Earn Most of the Money, and Kill the Big Bugs.
To give some context, I keep wanting to do a “Modern Cinderella” costume, but forget until the day before Halloween.
The idea started with just dressing in ratty clothes and wearing only one shoe. Then I decided I needed a cheap kiddie tiara (which I have, if I can find it), a couple of stuffed mice and one of the mini pumpkins to carry around.
But since I rant about how bad “Charming” is as an attribute for a potential spouse, I decided I also need a shirt that says “Forget Prince Charming, I want Prince …”, but I haven’t thought of a good way to end that.
Nava is winning so far with “Forget Prince Charming, I want Prince Likes My Crazy”.
I’m amused at the guys who are upset at the idea that I would want someone who does housework. What’s your problem? Do you think I should be doing all the housework? Or do you think that I want the guy to do all the housework?
The last; a lot of people split housework by whole tasks. I like the system I used to have with my brothers: any task was rotated among those who were qualified to do it. But that only works if the people doing it are capable of accepting the way the other people do it, and if when someone does make a mistake everybody has the maturity and serenity to solve the issue without turning a dropped glass into high drama.
My wife does the majority of the toilet scrubbing but I do 100% of the toilet/plumbing repairs. I’d be happy to take up more scrubbing if she’s willing to disassemble the pipes and work the electric rooter but I doubt she’ll bite at that deal after watching me last time.
I don’t mind but my family has a streak of ocd and im mr "good enough " for me … so I mostly leave it to them…… that and I have issues with housework as “chores”
Yes,they are in a nice kennel that rivals some teenagers bedrooms. The indoor part is heated when necessary. Beagles have to sleep up off the ground for some mysterious reason so the sleeping thing is on a platform . It has timed automatic feeders and water trough.
The only time I get involved is if there are puppies expected. I keep my eye on the expecting moms. The beagle I have in the house was orphaned and I hand reared her. She’s my 4th child.
Only the actual correspondence (one taking into account how the “stick prince” and “stick princess” in tales are named*, and the stereotypical gender-splits of tasks) would have been more along the lines of:
I’m not looking for a Princess… I’m looking for a wife who will
Kill Spiders
…
Manage Our Finances
…
Move The Sofa
…
…what should we really look for in a wife?
When the Prince is not the central character but is the central female character’s rescuer and eventual spouse, in English he gets to be Prince Charming (in other languages they get different names, for example in Spanish he’s the Blue Prince). When the Princess is the prize given to the central male character, why, she’s just the Princess.
Just an example I know, but that’s how things got sorted with us. The Missus likes the lawn to be shorter than I do, so she cuts it before it strikes me as something to do. And the leaves trigger her OCD so she’s the one raking, sweeping, sorting, and stacking the things before folding them neatly and sliding them into labeled trash bags. Just kidding, she doesn’t label the bags. And between my mom and The Army I can’t abide a bearded toilet or grubby tub. I really don’t get the revulsion of cleaning the bathroom. Shit washes off, and if you know what you’re about it tends not to get on you in the first place. As chores go, it has one of the best satisfaction/effort ratios in the house.
Can’t you sit down with her and iron out a mutual contract? What DOES she do now: get the kids fed, bathed, dressed, to bed, etc? Factor that in. Also factor in which one of you works longer hours at a job. And if you don’t have a joint account that’s truly joint, then don’t have one at all and work out who pays for what with an eye on who contributes most percentage-wise.
And what’s the deal with having a cleaning service only once a month? She has a 6-figure salary and you earn more than she does, so why don’t you have a cleaning service that comes in weekly? If it’s because you believe two adults who work full time and have two tiny children should be able to keep an enormous house clean, you might want to let that go. If she’s paying for the cleaning service out of her account and doesn’t want to spend more, she needs to rethink that.
Honestly, if you can swing having a lot of the work you’ve taken on solo done by professionals, wouldn’t it be worth it to reduce your resentment? It’d give you more time to spend with the kids and with each other, and it’s a whole lot better than divorce.
But those are the traditional female roles in most of the world. Looking for a woman who does those means you are looking for a woman who accepts the tradition female role. Looking for a man who does those, means you are looking for a man who is willing to do what is needed despite traditional roles. Change your post to something like “Mows the lawn… takes out the trash… etc.” and see how it changes again.
Mr.Wrekker is the best handy man a person could have. He can fix about anything. The problem is everyone knows he can do it and is willing to come help. And he’s cheap, like a sixpack will cover it. When he’s home he is inundated with requests. He just rarely says ‘no’. I tell him all the time he’s spreading himself thin. He gets some kinda positive feedback, so he keeps on. He’s a nice guy.
OTOH, he has never cleaned a toilet or washed a dish. He can fix a washing machine but he doesn’t have a clue how to turn it on. We do yard work together, except mowing, that’s all him. I am not really safe with heavy equipment. Right now I have a peck basket full of tulip bulbs that need planting. He will come home from the deer camp sometime this weekend and he will run the tiller for my flower beds, then I will plant them.
I’m Princess Carries-Spiders-Gently-To-The-Backyard-Where-They-Can-Live-Happily-Eating-Flies, mother to Princess I-will-lift-the-HEAVY-end-of-the-sofa-and-if-you-try-to-stop-me-I-will-FIGHT-YOU! What do we win?
An invitation to a couple weeks in Spain helping me move the furniture so I can be Princess Paints The House. Whenever you’re not moving furniture you get to visit Barcelona, take the day trip bus to Montserrat and the Colonia Güell (really, best bus daytrip one can take from Barcelona), or a train to Castelldefells (great beach) or Sitges (beach, shops and modernisme). And I’ve been wanting to go back to Besalú for-ever but would love to share it with someone, wanna come?
