Is this show sponsored by Tug-Ahoy?
Having now waded through all 4 pages, and judging by the fact that G.Nome’s name doesn’t appear anywhere, I would guess that she’s unhappy because she apparently missed the party of the century.
And now I’m pissed, too, and I wasn’t even planning on going…
Quit you’re bitching.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to alert the moderators to the fact that while logging on to the board this morning, I tripped over an article on the cover page and broke my hip. My personal injury lawyer will be communicating with you shortly. I expect all posts and threads containing the words “a”, “an” and “the” to be deleted by the closing of the month. Thank you.
I have now passed the point of being offended and have now moved on to totally insulted with the new knowledge of a party I wasn’t invited to as well as the misuse of the word “you’re”.
If someone mentions the word “felch”, I am just going to have to explode.
Shut up iampunha. It was not misuse of you “you’re”. I simply forgot the period.
Quit. You’re bitching.
I am offended and outraged at your attempt to violate my first ammendment rights by threatening to explode if the word “felch” is mentioned. I have a CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to mention “felch” and I’m appalled that you would try to stifle my free speech. As a citizen of these United States, I must now use the forbidden word, if only to protect my inalienable rights!
felch
Felch
felch-flech
[sub]felch[/sub]felch[sup]felch[/sup]felch[sub]felch[/sub]felch[sup]felch[/sup]felch[sub]felch[/sub]felch[sup]felch[/sup]felch[sub]felch[/sub]felch[sup]felch[/sup]felch[sub]felch[/sub]
FELCH
So there!
Fenris
Any resemblance to a well known MP sketch is purely coincidental:
GN = G.Nome
R= Receptionist
GN: Ah. I’d like to be easily offended, please.
R: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?
GN: No, I haven’t, this is my first time.
R: I see. Well, do you want to be offended just once, or were you thinking of taking a course?
GN: Well, what is the cost?
R: Well, It’s one pound for a five minute offend, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
GN: Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps started off with just the one and then see how it goes.
R: Fine. Well, I’ll see who’s free at the moment.
Pause
R: Ahh yes, the SDMB; room 12.
GN: Thank you.
A= Easily Offended Person (John Cleese)
GN = Ms G.Nome
GN: (Knock)
A: Come in.
GN: Ah, Is this the right room to be offended?
A: I told you once.
GN: No you haven’t.
A: Yes I have.
GN: When?
A: Just now.
GN: No you didn’t.
A: Yes I did.
GN: You didn’t
A: I did!
GN: You didn’t!
A: I’m telling you I did!
GN: You did not!!
A: Oh, I’m sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute offend or the full half hour?
GN: Oh, just the five minutes.
A: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
GN: You most certainly did not.
A: Look, let’s get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
GN: No you did not.
A: Yes I did.
GN: No you didn’t.
A: Yes I did.
GN: No you didn’t.
A: Yes I did.
GN: No you didn’t.
A: Yes I did.
GN: You didn’t.
A: Did.
GN: Oh look, this isn’t offensive.
A: Yes it is.
GN: No it isn’t. It’s just contradiction.
A: No it isn’t.
GN: It is!
A: It is not.
GN: Look, you just contradicted me.
A: I did not.
GN: Oh you did!!
A: No, no, no.
GN: You did just then.
A: Nonsense!
GN: Oh, this is futile!
A: No it isn’t.
GN: I came here to be offended.
A: No you didn’t; no, you came here to be offended.
GN: Being offended isn’t just contradiction.
A: It can be.
GN: No it can’t. Being offended is when someone says something you, personally, find….offensive.
A: No it isn’t.
GN: Yes it is! It’s not just contradiction.
A: Look, if I’m going to offend you, I must do something you find offensive
GN: Yes, but that’s not just saying ‘I’m offending you’
A: Yes it is!
GN: No it isn’t! Being offended is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
A: No it isn’t.
GN: It is.
A: Not at all.
GN: Now look.
A: (Rings bell) Good Morning.
GN: What?
A: That’s it. Good morning.
GN: I was just getting interested.
A: Sorry, the five minutes is up.
GN: That was never five minutes!
A: I’m afraid it was.
GN: It wasn’t.
Are you questioning my ethics, because if you are, I would consider that to be completely unfair. I would like to say that I found something in the following thread to be a little bit offensive:
If you are going to confuse me with another poster at least confuse me with someone who hasn’t offended someone. If I remember right, iampunha once stuck up for Coldfire when Uncle Beer said something like “Damn that Coldie stinks” and iampunha said “Like shit he does.”
I was highly offended by the implication that (1) Uncle Beer took it upon himself to judge Coldie’s odor, (2) iampunha said the “s” word, and (3) that Coldie high and might position as a mod gives him the right not to bathe before typing on the SDMB.
There has GOT to be a mod conspiracy in there somewhere, where I don’t know, you’ll have to research it yourself. It’s completely unfair and offensive and damnit, I have now confused myself.
Oh, and don’t make me come over there and bitch slap you Fenris.
Tell you what. I scratch my ass, and then type on the SDMB. It’s a Dutch consitutional right, dammit. I’m highly offended by your attacks on my humane basic rights, you felchin’ beeyatch.
Should you continue to taunt me like this, I will become terminally offended and move to New Zealand to last my days together with G. Nome. We’ll sit together on a bench, overlooking the ocean. Muttering phrases about how unfair it all is. How undignified we’ve been treated by the SDMB at large. After all the work an energy we gave that place!
Unless the thought of spending eternity with li’l old me offends G. Nome, of course. Then I’ll just stay here, I suppose.
Where is our little 'Nomie, by the way? She’s usually too thick to back away from an argument that she’s clearly lost at step one, so what’s taking her now?
[sub] please?[/sub]
Fenris
Evilbeth: I did not search high and low. I was offended accidentally when I put DrMatrix in the search engine. I was checking the People Pages out because I wanted to vote in the Beauty Contest. After the D’s I gave up but DrMatrix looked interesting to me - so I checked him out. The thread was one he had contributed to.
Ok, I don’t believe Cecil Adams is a twenty-year-old moustachioed male nor do I believe he is an African American party animal. But the thought that he might be the latter almost certainly doesn’t seem as ridiculous to me as it does to AndyGirl and SmackFu etc. They labelled the following photograph JB_Farley dancing with Cecil Adams.
http://www.smackfu.com/photos/dopefest/DSCF1248.JPG
I may have got this all wrong. I’m so backwater and these people are NYC sophisticates. I may possess a certain lack of insight. I shouldn’t have done this I shouldn’t have done this
Coldy, your excessive use of italics, boldface, and underline has offended me. Edit it IMMEDIATELY!
Hrmpf.
Words to live by dear.
HOLY SHIT!! Someone needs to call Ripley. Years from now, Grandparents will wistfully reminisce to their grandchildren about the day that something somewhat accurate came forth from the abyss of bug poop known as G. Nome.
G. Nome, neither you nor most anyone else has any evidence of what Cecil looks like. Hence your statement of belief is wholly unsupported, and therefore qualifies as “witnessing”. According to the Forum descriptions, witnessing belongs in GD. Please repost in the appropriate forum.
It occurs to me that most of what you post should be in GD as well, for the same reason.
Sua
You’re bringing me into this because…? [sub]btw, it’s andygirl… not that I expect you to pay attention to details.[/sub]
Let’s review, shall we?
It.
Was.
A.
Joke.
You.
Putz.
You shouldn’t believe it. Everyone knows that Slug’s reproductions of Cecil are police-artist quality sketches. He really is a giant turkey wearing a professor’s cap.
Great. Just great, G.Nome. Now I’ve got a mental image of SmackFu and Coldfire’s faces superimposed on Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers’ bodies. Smackfu is wearing a top-hat and tails and Coldie’s wearing a strapless ballgown as they dance their way across New York’s most sophisticated nightclubs to George Gershwin and Cole Porter music…
I’ll never forgive you for putting that mental image in my head.
Fenris
As Cecil’s evil twin (who knows nothing), I can assure you that Cecil is most definitely a twenty-year-old moustachioed male or an African American party animal.
Unless he finally got that plastic surgery he wanted. If so, then he’s a hot blonde woman with huge breasts.