Yeah, but we’ve got Prof. Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) on the job and he’ll unravel those Illuminati alien heirglyphics hidden in all the Vatican’s artwork and architecture. Then we can be sure!
The other day I learned from a certain frothing RW co-worker that energy conservation is woke. Who knew saving unnecessary expense was so … controversial?
The especially sneaky part about these wokies is that energy conservation as an idea goes back 50+ years now, while wokism is just a few years old. Look how deeply the conspiracy is embedded in our society!!!111!1!1!!!
I wish I was kidding, but I am not. This is how it was explained to me. Sheesh!
Reminds me of a poster on a RW board I used to browse where one of the posters proudly proclaimed that he offset all the leftist environmentalists by not recycling anything, and throwing all his recyclables into the garbage. Apparently in their delusional minds, dumping recyclables into landfill somehow “balances” the environmental policies they hate.
I was going to suggest that this wasn’t good enough. Ideally they should just throw all their garbage, kitchen waste, and sewage right out on the street, like they did in the Dark Ages when they had exciting social events like the plague of the Black Death.
There is no point in trying to figure out how these people think, because they don’t.
I expect that the range of possible biochemistries in the universe is quite large, and humans would be as poisonous as a fugu fish to most aliens. Perhaps that is why they need such a comprehensive cookbook.
Moderating:
This is a hijack. It’s unrelated to the topic of the thread. If you need to whine about wokeness, take it to another thread.
Everyone else, please don’t respond to this.
Frankly, I’m shocked that so many of you resist the notion of our being visited by extraterrestrials. They are here, and they’ve been coming here for a long time. Allow me to address some of the doubts you’ve cast in this thread.
Why so many sightings in recent years? Because they only recently received our broadcast signals from the I Love Lucy show. They love Lucy, too.
Have they been visiting us for a long time? If so, why don’t we see ancient depictions of alien spacecraft? Sure, they have visited us throughout our history (just more-so since Lucy), but remember, their civilization evolves just like human civilization evolves. Thousands of years ago they visited Earth in sailing ships and chariots. We see those depicted in ancient art all the time.
Wouldn’t a super-advanced civilization travel here in large super-advanced nano electrokinetic thruster-propelled motherships? We see no evidence of that. Why? Because they are sneaky little bastards, and they park their huge motherships on the dark side of the moon. They got the idea from an album played on the radio whose signal they intercepted (they love Floyd as much as they love Lucy).
Why do these supposedly super-advanced aliens crash on our planet all the time, after traveling thousands of light-years in high-tech ships without a hitch? Because they have their good pilots pilot the motherships, then send their less experienced pilots in tiny flying saucers and balloons to explore the planets. They send their worst pilots to explore Earth because Earth is a low-priority mission for aliens. They use their best pilots to explore planets that broadcast better shows (not crap like reality shows featuring has-been celebrities).
It all makes perfect sense.
A few days ago, on the Gutfeld show, Tyrus offered this theory:
For millions of years, humans lived in caves and tents, and used stone tools. One day, aliens came to Earth and taught us about agriculture and building pyramids.
We ate them.
Or sexually molested them.
Probably both.
They have been boycotting us ever since. Every now and then, they send a saucer to check on us, but since we are still idiots, they go back to their home planet.
Or, perhaps they are biding their time, waiting for our population to reach 10 billion before it’s cost effective for them process us as meat and send our frozen carcasses back to their home planet. I believe they are the ones responsible for coercing fast food restaurants to mega-size meals—they are fattening us up.
What if aliens are not more advanced than us, they just figured out how to go fast before we did? See the George Lucas documentary, American Graffiti. Maybe they are just stupid and have fast cars.
It is a small step from Bob Falfa to Han Solo. All he needed was to meet Bigfoot.
Noted scholar Douglas Adams explained what’s going on. Teenage aliens like to buzz primitive planets in their hotrods for laughs.
I’m reading this now based on your post. Those people are cray-cray.
But I’m half Hungarian (on my mother’s side), so now I’ve discovered I’m actually an alien. Funny that none of the DNA tests I took showed that. 
Or, something like that:
I knew Bigfoot would appear.
That is the premise (minus the American Graffiti reference) of the Harry Turtledove short story “The Road not Taken.” It’s easily found online in PDF form and I believe it’s legally available but I’m not 100% sure of its copyright status so I won’t post here.
The implications of the story are more sinister.
I think I mentioned this story in some previous SDMB thread, but I can’t find it anymore. I couldn’t remember the name or the author of the story at that point, but I remembered the point of it. Somehow it’s possible for the race living on a planet to figure out how faster-than-light travel and anti-gravity works, even though they don’t have nearly as much technology as we do. Indeed, most of their technology is about four hundred years less advanced than what we have today on Earth, but they know how to do faster-than-light travel and anti-gravity.
The military level of the starfaring races is about 19th century. When they try and raid humans and run into the meat grinder of human military might it doesn’t go well for them. When they realize humans will now have the ability to travel the stars the story ends with on of the aliens saying “What have we done?”
Actually, we have an explanation for that, thanks to the recent astonishing finding of an Earth Map as used by aliens!!
Unfortunately the joke is lost because the image does not display for me.
You can click on it and register with the site.
Then you can tell me what it was.
It’s the Mensa page, so be aware that in order to register, you have to do an IQ test and score at least 140 points…