Why do you hate America? Don’t you know the entire economy is depending upon you parking your fat ass on the couch and shoveling high fat food in your mouth at a record pace. Cardiac teams are standing by, with their paddles at the ready, to jolt you back into life, and your rendering all that hard work pointless by your refusal to go a long with the herd.
Hospitals will be forced to cut back on their staff because you didn’t come into their ER with blockage in all your arteries. Those doctors laid off will be forced to stop buying those expensive cars they drive, putting folks at the BMW and Mercedes factories out on the street. Those workers in turn will not buy the new clothes and electronics they’d been planning on, causing thousands of Philipino and Chinese babies to be thrown out on the street when their jobs disappear. Is that what you want, Chefguy? Thousands of unemployed Chinese and Philipino babies roaming the streets, doing drugs, and selling themselves on street corners? Because that’s what you’re doing! Do you understand that? You’re turning babies into prostitutes! I hope you can live with yourself, because I certainly couldn’t go around carrying that kind of weight on my conscience!
Nah, I’m just messin’ with you, man. Ain’t gonna watch it either.
This ties in nicely with another current thread about which country has the youngest prostitutes.
And listen up, pal: I’m as big a slob as anybody out there and can eat my weight in chicken wings. Tyson employees send me Christmas cards. So I’m doing my part for crass consumerism, without having to listen to John Madden, football’s equivalent of passing a kidney stone.
I’m not a sports fan, but I’ll watch, and likely enjoy the game, and the commercials, as well as getting together with a few friends in the spirit of any-reason-for-a-party. I’m sure that makes me a dupe and tool of some aspect of evil corporate America.
I do, however, bow to your superioriority and sophistication.
I’m not going to watch it. I don’t understand football well enough to get anything out of the game. I’m just going to look online afterward to see who won.
I like the Steelers and wish them well, even though I don’t like football. Their game schedule gives me some chances to go to Costco and Target on weekends in December. If they’re playing here, I know Costco and Target will be civilized, not the normal pre-holiday madhouse.
House marathon on USA all day today too, it’s what I’ve had on since I woke up. I’ve got another hour before I go to my friend’s house to start eating and drinking and not watching football.
They are also a baseball team in St. Louis. I know this because I used to babysit for the kid of a player on the team when they were down here for spring training, not from any interest in sports. The football team used to also be in St. Louis but they moved to Arizona. I know this because I once visited Arizona a couple times and heard about all their teams from the person I visited. The hockey team is the Coyotes.
Cardinals aren’t really a good mascot for a football team though, it’s a pretty red bird with a happy chirp. Doesn’t seem to fit in with the Broncos, Vikings, Bears and Buccaneers. I hope they win though, I like Cardinals. But I won’t be watching the game either.
At least this puts an end to it for a few months. Now we can start talking about important things, like baseball. Besides, youtube will have the commercials up within minutes of their airing, and XM will be broadcasting Bruce’s show in its entirety. Screw the NFL.
I care so little about sports, and watch so little TV, that I didn’t know it was Super Bowl day until someone mentioned it earlier today and I didn’t who was playing until I glimpsed a thread on here a few minutes ago and saw that it was Arizona and someone.
