Yes, there are risks associated with an invasive test like an amnio.
Nowadays there are fairly accurate non-invasive tests. They combine ultrasound and maternal blood test results to get to something like 93% accuracy for several conditions.
Hi Nava,
Why did your family join that group? Do you have a sibling with Down syndrome?
OP: please let us know how it goes at the doctor’s today.
Nope, (former) neighbor.
When I was little, one of the other families in the same building had three daughters; (names changed) Maica, 2 years older than me; Laila, 1 year older; and Anna, my age. My parents and theirs were friends, I’m not sure whether they’d been friends before or became friends there; I was in and out of their house a lot (their mother was a lot more relaxed than mine, which wasn’t difficult as Mom was a walking child-rearing book). When we were 4 they had another baby who turned out to have Down’s… she also eventually became a lawyer (which in Spain is a bachelor’s, not graduate school); she chose to attend UNED, the Spanish Long-Distance University, because “that way nobody can say they ‘gave’ me the degree; since the people grading don’t know the students, any grades I get are all mine”. They have a fifth child, a son.
We are also long-time friends with another family who has a Down’s child, in this case a man a few years older than me (number 9 of 10). His mother now has Alzheimer’s (the father died in the 1970s); the rest of the siblings have a rotation set up so that someone drops by twice a day on weekdays and more on weekends. Luismi has taken a while to understand that “Mom is sick even though she doesn’t look sick” and has taken his duties of “remembering to tell his sisters about things Mom forgot today” very seriously - well, he tends to take any duties very seriously.
Thanks. Interesting.
First, Congratulations Mint!
Sounds to me like you and your BF are responsible, common sense folks. This is really the basic foundation of good parents. With that, and parental instincts along with your parents, friends, doctors, and family, you’ll do just fine.
As a man, one of the greatest moments of my life was being with my wife when she gave birth, it was a special day, a day I will never forget…
and her first smile, first words, first steps, first day of school…
Yea, I didn’t think I would do a good job either, but it was a world of discovery for not only my daughter, but for me too - to re-discover the world through the eyes of a child; to not only teach my daughter but to learn along with her; to enjoy her company, her giggles, her silly little jokes, her creativity and discoveries; to fix her boos-boos…it is awesome to be a parent. She is now an intelligent, quick-witted, sensitive and responsible (almost)20 year old, and I helped her to become that. There isn’t anything in the world I would trade for that.
Again, Congratulations, Good Luck, and Good Health!! 
Just wanted to post a follow up.
I am no longer pregnant. Went to the OBGYN last week and it looks like things just were not meant to be. I am so glad I did not tell anyone (other than you guys of course) because I am not really sad, and I know that would be a shocking response to most of my friends. I am just indifferent to be honest. It was not planned, so I am just not very sad and I dont want to apologize for that.
But I sincerely appreciate you guys talking me off the ledge last week and for all of your helpful responses.
I’m glad to hear that you’re okay and that life isn’t throwing you any curveballs you can’t handle.
Early miscarriages are really, really common. Unwanted pregnancies are (way too) common as well, so you’re not the first or last person this has happened to. It’s not socially acceptable to admit that in all circles, but it happens.
Be on the lookout for hormonal wonkiness in the next few weeks, like nausea or weird moods. That can happen after a miscarriage.
What kind of birth control are you using? Are you using it consistently and correctly? If not, why not? You might want to think about this in light of recent events.
I am using the no-sex method for now. I have a follow up appointment in a week and until then I was told it is closed for business.
I have been on BC pills for over 15 years and never had a scare before. But with my 3 month course of antibiotics, I am guessing the effectiveness was altered. The pharmacist even warned me and my bf is in the medical field and was aware, but we were not careful enough with a backup method during that time.
I am considering an IUD, but I am not sure. We are also considering letting my bf get snipped.
And thank you for the heads up on the hormones. Since I have not been able to really discuss this with anyone, I have no idea what to expect.
I’m glad you’re doing ok. And don’t feel guilty about not being sad. You feel what you feel and can’t do anything other than that.
I had an IUD “installed” after an ectopic pregnancy. I highly recommend it, though there was lots of bleeding and cramping for a few weeks after it was put in. My husband is probably going to get a vasectomy…eventually (he’s kind of a procrastinator). We want to make damn sure that never happens again.
For what it’s worth, this Internet Stranger is glad for you. Not *happy, *because that would be weird (and would further shock your friends) but glad, because the universe is behaving itself just a little bit. (pats universe on the head encouragingly)
Here are some signs of infection to watch out for. If you notice any of those, get medical help right away.
Postpartum depression can happen after a miscarriage. If you’re feeling unusually depressed, tell a medical professional, and be sure to tell them about the miscarriage.
Your menstrual cycle might not go back to normal for a few months. This doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant again until it does.
You can ovulate and get pregnant again before you get your first period after your miscarriage.
I’m glad you’re okay and not feeling sad! Thanks for keeping us faithfully updated <3
Glad you’re feeling okay about everything. Take it easy on yourself for a while.
Thanks for the update, Mint Julep. Anne Neville is right about the hormones. Don’t make any major decisions for the next two weeks, and don’t be surprised if you cry about everything 
Take good care of yourself!
I’m glad and sad for you. But it sounds like mostly this is a relief, so I’m mostly glad.
I was pretty torn up when I miscarried my first pregnancy (which was very much wanted), but the emotion quickly faded, and now I’m actively glad it happened, because if it hadn’t, I wouldn’t have my supremely awesome daughter (who was conceived about 4 months after the m/c). So I understand the weirdness on a certain level. I’ll pass along the advice my aunt gave me, which is that it’s OK to feel bad, and it’s OK to feel good. It may go back and forth, too. And no one can dictate how you feel. I’m glad you can vent to us at least, since you’re avoiding awkwardness with RL friends.
Holy crap, I just realized that other thread was also you. REALLY take care of yourself! Like, go get a massage or something. Good lord, I can’t imagine the strain you must be under, and not to be able to tell anybody about the miscarriage? Go look at some pictures of kittens and ducklings!
However you feel is totally OK. You can feel sad, relieved, happy, weird - or all of the above in a five minute time span. You don’t have to answer to anyone else on this. There is no one “right” way to feel about something like this.
As always, take care of yourself.