First off:
1.Congrats to you on the little doper/doperette!
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What everyone said above, I second and third. I have such faith in the doper community here and their sage advice that I scanned through most of what everyone said. Hell, I’m scanning through mine as I write it. Which explains the quaility of my writing.
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Send my condolences to the Mr. about loss of your sex drive. ( Mine is in neutral, thank you very much.)
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Look in the mirror while you are naked. See those boobs, in a few weeks, they were start to come to life. When the baby comes, and if you breast feed, they will do whatever the little boss says. Regretfully, you cannot claim the pair on your taxes and your husband will want them more than ever.
[Stream of consciousness thinking]
As you become more tired/pregnant your husband will grow hornier. He will read in the 10,000 pregnancy/parenting magazines that during the second trimester that because of the strong blood flow to the female genitals will cause you to be walking around in a perpetual state of arousal, just like he has since he was 12. I have yet to encounter a 2nd trimester preggo woman who was so horn dog that she boinked her husband like a sex crazed weasal. If you are, Bully for you and would you please come over to my house and play hide the salami with my husband, fertheloveofgod. I am sure these women do exist, but they are the same women who actually fit in their regular cloths right after delivery.
In the beginning of my 3rd trimester I did, knowingly and with forethought, boink my husband while we were in England on vacation. This was done to a) keep the streak going of having sex in as many countries as we possibly can and b) a ‘gimme’ for Mr. Ujest, of which, I enjoyed as well. ( That was, because of our bellies -Mr. Ujest’s belly is bigger than mine at 40 weeks thar-she-blows pregnancy, and when the female is on top and tries to bend down to kiss her mate, the bellies collide, pushing the already squished stomach farther north and nearly causing a rather unromatic hurling of thine lunch, therefore, ruining the mood and the sheets in one felled swoop. Consider yourself warned. [/SOCT}
5.I want to make this perfectly clear, I should get a say in the name of your little one. If you are nervous about having your little one named Horatio Algernon Ignatius Bob , then you should *at the very least * start a **Name the Baby Contest ** as I did with one of my two children, ages 3 and 16 months)
(neither of them are named Horatio Algernon Ignatius Bob, though that would have been a good one for my daugther, who is named Larry Chuck 
) Besides, there are too many Emily’s, Sarahs, Cody’s and Brandon’s out there.
Half the fun of having a child is the Name Game. For fun,
go to http://www.kabalarian.com The other half of the fun is watching your relatives faces go, " Where did you come up with THAT name?" Remember this, family has the rest of their lives to get over whatever you decide to name the little squirt.
- You will receive countless advice from well meaning people. ** Do not let this frighten you ** These people mean well, but frankly, most are congenital idiots, and your most excellent progeny will attend school with their short bus riding, knuckle dragging zombified offspring. If whatever these adults say should frighten/scare the living crap out of you (it will happen when you are at a hormonally low moment) try to remain calm and use either the internet or us here to be a sounding board to help dispell the myths.
**I am going to impart to you the most important peice of advice you will ever receive in your pregnancy that will carry over to the rest of your life. One day you will thank me for it. Really **
Never Miss an opportunity to take a pee.
My job is done here.
