Al Bundy.
norm (to cliff): “women. can’t live with 'em…(to woody) pass the beer nuts.”
Grimhacker, if you are always this charming, you should be grateful that any woman has ever come near you without large sums of money changing hands. But I can accept the validity of your rant - the woman who decided to share your cockroach-infested trailer must have been a prize indeed, and you are probably well rid of her.
Since you’ve probably deflowered all the livestock in your immediate vicinity, and the strippers at your local bar seem to fall short of your high standards, I would recommend that you try to date women of the inflatable vinyl variety from now on. Make sure you read the package instructions carefully: If you keep her inflated longer than 2 months she will become your common-law wife and 1/2 of your beer can collection will automatically revert to her.
I’m not surprised that you miss high school - It must have been a cruel shock the day that you discovered that you could no longer legally ply emotionally distrubed eighth-graders with peach schnapps in order to get laid.
Forgive me if this double-posts. Ugh.
Magdalene - sniff - that was BEAUTIFUL. You are my hero.
Holy crap, magdalene, that was good! At least a 9.5/10.0!
Missy2U,
Here, here. I’ll second that.
Mag’s post get’s my vote for “Flame of the Year.”
There’s no way I can follow that flame magdalene. I feel like the guy who followed the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show.
magda,
I bow to your flaming power. That was priceless. (I thought I was all witty with the sheep reference- lame!)
You kick ass!
But tell us- how do you REALLY feel?
Zette
…I was just gonna say that simply because you are dating someone doesn’t mean you have to live with them, but after Ms. Maggy, I don’t quite have the motivation.
Be-u-ti-ful.
And since this is now in the Pit, the only people hwo look fondly back on High School are twenty-somethings that never did a damn thing afterwards but comment to anyone in earshot about how cool they were back then. Moron.
Everyone knows college is the best years of your life.
Gimcracker has a good point. All you fat women should lose some weight, get big poufy hair, and put out on demand without expecting to be treated like men. And would it kill you to put on a little perfume down there?
::d&r::
Thinksnow, good point! This guy is clearly a master of logic, and I’m sure he will immediately grasp your excellent point.
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All the livestock in this area run away when they see me.
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I somehow convinced some woman (with the help of trusty old peach schnapps) to date me.
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I learned from watching Jerry Springer that dating = living together.
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I learned from my dad who walked out one day to get cigarettes and never came back and never slapped my mom around when she didn’t deserve it that living together = she cooks all my meals.
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But only for two months. Because at 3 months we become common-law married. (Shit - I wonder if my roommate knows about this rule? It’s been almost a month already)
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Damn, I’m a handsome mofo.
-
So I break up with this girl and she has the nerve to become upset. I mean, she’s gonna have to go back home and live with her Uncle Lester the Molester again, but why is that my fault? All my friends at work were laughing at me when she showed up all crying and stuff.
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Ergo, I hate all women.
If only we’d intervened back at step 3, maybe with one of those “The More You Know” spots with the stars of Friends. “People think that dating equals living together, but I, Jennifer Aniston, think that it’s okay for people to live apart.” Alas, now we can only curse the gods that one such as Grimhacker is lost to womankind.
The sheep won’t have him.
You’re on a roll today Magdalene! WTG
That’s nothing a little peach schnapps couldn’t fix…
I dunno, it might take an awful lot of Schnapps…
HOw the hell did my post end up in the Pit? And why the fuck are people mad at me? OH well, kinda neat anyways.
magdalene,
Just yesterday, I was pretty pissed at you for trying to derail my completely innocent Criticism thread.
But having read your flames in this thread, I can only conclude that you are one of the good guys. And gals, of course.
9.0 for Entertainment Value, 10.0 for OP Annihilation Value.
Thanks 
I believe you can thank Whammo for throwing the first “felch” onto the table - it’s kinda like when you’re playing Hearts and the Queen of Spades comes out and everyone goes oooooooooooh. Or maybe more on your level: It’s like when you’re playing Chutes & Ladders and you hit a chute and have to slide down.
But don’t worry, your misogyny and stupidity would have brought you here without Whammo’s help. I’m glad you think it’s “neat” - I guess wetting the bed and calling the teen suicide-prevention hotlines every day was no longer getting you enough attention at home. I know everyone here is on the edge of their seats waiting to see what you’ll come up with next! Your style is so fresh and funky, it could revolutionize the way we do things on this board and I think everyone just got a little carried away with jealousy. I know I did.
Heh. Thanks for the constructive feedback, Coldfire. And everyone else. :o
…I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to see what magdaline will say next.
<I think I could fall for a woman with such spirit>
that is, of course, magdalene
and after checking, your 3p’s makes it a fact