See → 
Hugz please.
Sure! {{{hug}}}
There now, is that better? I’m just going to go and make you a nice batch of brownies now. You can lick the spoon too.
Okay.
{{{{Rand Rover}}}}}
Five bucks, please. 
I’m sad, too.Nobody will play with me 
When no one will play with me, that’s when I play with myself.
Sure {>H<} and I’ll play you a tune on my ukulele too.
There’s a way for you to escape your sadness forever and ever, and it “may” even make all those around you very happy in the bargain…
{{{{Rand Rover}}}}
{{{{Rand}}}}
I just saw one of those nutters offering free hugs in the street outside my building. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to give you plenty.
{{{hugs}}}
Sending out a wish for a better day.
Awww.
Feel better soon.
huggles
{Rand Rover}
These “hugz” are provided by www.capitalist_asshole.com and are being billed at $US 330 per hour. Please send < end hugs > to www.blahblahblahblah.com to unsubscribe from this service. Failure to do so will result in continued billing but who gives a fuck, we will be making money. Your money.
<Explodes from overdose of t3h Cuten3ss>
I’ll hug you, but only if you promise not to push strangers in bars and then come back here to brag about it. And you agree to keep your hands off my ass.
{{{RR}}}
Hey! What did I say about the hands?
Sure. But don’t cop a feel, yo.
I’ll give you a hug, but as a free-enterprise entrepeneur, I have to inform you that my hugs cost $50 a squeeze. If you want an actual cuddle, that’ll cost you an extra 75 (AUD). Y'see, I don't give a fuck whether you're sad or not (that's YOUR problem), but if I can make a few out of it, then it’s a win-win situation, innit? Your sadness, my profit…that’s what makes the world go 'round.
Sure. What’s going on? Why so sad little bear?
I’m sorry you are hurting, Rand. Hope your sad feelings don’t last very long. Just dread one day at a time. That’s my motto.
Don’t make me lick your face.