I'm sad. Tell me a happy story

What a SAD SAD day.

Last night I had a few hours all to myself, and I took a few minutes to indulge in something slightly sinful-
I put on the song “100,000 Fireflies” by Magnetic Fields and hugged my stuffed armadillo Putty and let myself miss my boy for a little while…because he’s away and i won’t see him for a week or so.
“100,000 Fireflies” is an incredibly delicate, soft song and the speaker says sweet little things about catching fireflies and how their luminescence reminds her of his starry eyes and how she’s afraid of the dark when he’s not around and she misses him.

Don’t tell my boy that I played this song while he was away, it’s embarrassing.
So I was listening to this beautiful song and hugging my stuffed armadillo and thinking nice things and how silly it is that i miss him this much when he’ll be back next week and maybe I can shower him with kisses, etc. and I wondering if maybe he’s thinking of me right at this very moment because he sees something that reminds him of me and


So somebody threw a big rock through my window and there was glass all over the floor and whoever threw the rock ran away.
Then I had to call the superintendent who is usually stoned and he made some vague promise that he’ll get around to fixing it.
It was drafty with the big hole in the window so I had to plug it with a towel.

It wasn’t really the fact that somebody smashed my window for no reason that upset me so much-

It was the fact that somebody broke my window while I was listening to “100,000 Fireflies”, the prettiest song I’ve heard in about 5 years. Kinda spoiled the mood.

Today i took a balloon to work because it matched my new haircolour and my new jacket so well.

During lunch I was walking around outside and i saw a very small old lady with the littlest head I’ve ever seen.
She had a large yellow and purple bruise on her face.
I don’t know how she could have gotten a huge bruise like that, but as I passed her she smiled at me which I thought was beautiful.

I feel very bad because the appropriate thing in such a situation would have been to give her my balloon and I didn’t think to do that.
I tell these stories in a hope that maybe somebody can provide me with a happy one to make me feel a bit better.
My balloon is dying, too- it doesn’t float like it did last night.


I don’t have a happy story, but I do have a comment.

I like you alot, honey. You are a wonderful person.

And, I have a hug, too.


Hope that helps?


My husband and I moved into my parents house at the end of October. We moved in so that we could pay off our enormous credit card debt. They gave us one whole wing of the house as our own. It is really nice. We have three rooms to ourselves, a bedroom, tv room. and office. We also have a large bathroom.

Currently we are 16000 dollars in debt in credit card from the past 2 years. We ran that up from car repairs, and neccesities(sp?).

My dad decided to sit down with all our bills last week and put together a plan to pay them off. As of today we have paid of two of the cards already. My parents forewarded us 1000.00 to get those out of the way. We also got our school loan disbursement check. That check will catch us up 100.00 below our limits.

I am so happy about that. I have been feeling drowned under my debt and felt I couldn’t get out. My dad didn’t get angry either when he set out to figure out our finances. he got angry at the card companies for charging us so much every month and not letting us breathe. I have been feeling so depressed these past 6-9 months. I’m finally feeling like we are going to get out of this.

I hope this happy story helps you out.

Okay Turpentine. I have a cute Valentine’s story for you.

My colleague Sammy has two children, Allison(5) and Eric(11 months). Well, they paid us a little visit on V-day with their mom and brought him in some flowers.

The other two programmers in my office, Brad and Jered had flowers as well from their respective SOs.

Well, Allison, cute little thing that she is comes bounding into the office… jumps up into my lap shouting… “Mista 'tephen… Mista 'tephen!” and proceeds to show me all of her little valentines that she got at school. Then she looks around for a second… looks me right in the eye and says… “Mista 'tephen, how comes you ain’t gots no flowfers?” It was just the absolute cutest thing… I had no idea what to tell her. Everyone in my office just cracked up. But that’s not the best part.

Her father comes over and says, “Allison, would you like to give Mister Stephen one of your cards?”

And she jumps out of my lap, screws up her face, looks right at her dad and says, “No, they’re mine!!!”

Oh… it just cracked me up. The whole office just fell out laughing.

Hope my story made ya smile. :slight_smile:


Smiley-face balloon for you Scotti. Thanks for the hug, sorry my balloon looks sorta like a sperm.
That’s marvelous, Tubagirl. I will give you a balloon, too.


Thank you Simetra. Had I but known I would have given you a valentine, but you’ll have to settle for one of these silly sperm-balloons:


Unless someone can draw me a better balloon, you’ll just have to settle

My husband and I are searching for apartments these days. While we waited outside of a landlord’s apartment last weekend, we overheard his two five or six year old kids fighting, screaming…finally, the girl said to her brother:


we laughed very hard.


I read a really funny piece just the other day. It made me smile. :slight_smile:

Not a story but a nursery rhyme…

I love little pussy
her coat is so warm

If I don’t hurt her
she’ll do me no harm

so I’ll not pull her tail
nor driver her away

and pussy and I
very gently will play.

I dunno… always make me smile!

Wouldn’t it be bizarre if your name was Happy, but you didn’t have any arms. Cuz you’d be Happy, and you’d know it…

Well, since we’re talking about adorable children, howsabout a story involving my nephew and niece? Jamey is 6, and Aubrey is 4, and yesterday my sister overheard this conversation beween them:

Jamey: Do you want to know what is the saddest thing?
Aubrey: What?
Jamey: Eddie’s Grandpa got squished by a truck and now he’s always in a wheelchair!
Aubrey: Oooh…is he flat?
That completely cracked me up. So sorry that someone’s horrid act ruined a beautiful song while you were missing your son, but he’ll be back doing hilarious things for you to tell us about soon!

Beadalin, you really made me smile a bunch because “my boy” is not my son, he’s my boy-friend and he’s 25. He usually wears either one of two facial expressions on his face- Stunned or Bewildered.

When I said this to him, he said that these expressions come to his face only whenever I’M around. I thought that was sweet.

Ah, but I’m trying not to miss him too much.

Here’s a balloon anyway :)~~~~

And one for Whammo :p~~~~

And one for Humble Servant :wally~~~~~~ (You made me blush!)

And Xizor because yer so funny :D~~~~~~

And one for jarbabyj, thanks :)~~~~~~

Ooo, Humble servant, it loks like your balloon is floating away. So sorry, here’s another-


And yeah, I guess my boy does count as an adorable child so it’s quite alright to tell cute children stories.

Ha ha! Woops! You know, I honestly read “miss my boy for a little while” as “miss my little boy for a while.” Not quite the same thing, but if it’s possible for me to misread something, I usually do. At least it made you smile, right?

There once was a man from Nantucket…


(And here’s a balloon to replace the deflated one.)



I just remembered a poem by Ogden Nash that I always thought was funny.

The Germ

A mighty creature is the germ
Though smaller than a pachyderm.

It’s customary dwelling place
is deep within the human race.

Do you, my poppet, feel infirm?
You probably contain a germ!

Ogden Nash

Okay, so it’s lame. I’m trying.


Once upon a time (and all stories worth telling begin with “once upon a time”*), there was a beautiful land that had been overcome by darkness and despair.
All the crystal-clear wells had turned to slimy mud.
All of the once-glittering, emerald shade trees had withered and turned to brown.
All the singing birds (and even some “flying rats”) had been silenced.
All of the people in the land were stuck by deep feelings of sadness and remorse.
And what, you may ask, was the source of all this doom and gloom?
Well, I’ll tell you.

The Prince had left the land, and gone off to fight a horrible war to the West, and was never expected to be seen again. There were mountains there in the West, and multitudinous mists, and monsters of every type and description.
The Prince was very beloved by the people, and the land seem to draw energy from his very presence. But with him gone, things…fell apart.
There was one person who did not slip deeply into despair, and that was his Princess. The beautiful, dark-haired Princess stood on the cupola deck every night, and stared out into the West, and said to herself, “I wish for my love with all my soul. He will return.”
And so it went.

The land grew sicker, and the Prince did not return, and evil men began to consolidate their positions of power, and soon they held all (except for the beautiful dark-haired Princess) in thrall to their whims. Three of the most evil men were known by the names Phaedrus, Mark, and Tyler.

Once night, Phaedrus came upon the widow’s walk and spoke to the Princess. He said:
“I realize that you are pining for your lost love, but you must know that all that has happened – him going off to the horrible war, your despair, all of it – is God’s Will, and cannot be changed. Some may say that our fate is our own, but do not believe it. It is all written down in a special book. So, you must join me. Wed me, and we will control all of the land, and enforce God’s Will together.”
But the Princess did not listen; instead she said: “I wish for my love with all my soul. He will return.”
And so Phaedrus went away.

The next night, Mark came upon the cupola deck and spoke to the Princess. He said:
“You know, your Prince is never coming back. Some Black people got him, and hauled him off to their lair, where the evil tribe of the Fat Women crushed him into itty-bitty bits. You will seem him no more. What you should do instead is marry me, where we will control all of the land, and take revenge upon any Black people we come across.”
But the Princess did not listen; instead she said: “I wish for my love with all my soul. He will return.”
And Mark went away.

Upon the third night, Tyler climbed the crumbling stone stops to the roof. His hair was all askew, and a mad light was in his eyes. He said:
“The Prince! Bah! He has been captured. I hear tell of a maleficent tribe not three days West of here, who take their victims and inflict the most cruel punishment upon them. Death? No, not death. They cut off their foreskins! You realize what this means, of course. The Prince will be so damaged by the procedure, he will kill himself, or go insane. So, you see, Princess, you would be better off with me. Together, we will control the land, and keep all men whole for all their lives!”
But the Princess did not listen; instead she said: “I wish for my love with all my soul. He will return.”
And Tyler went away.

On the fourth night, no evil men came. Instead, there was a blizzard of snow that swooped and spiraled up the walls of the old castle, and chilled the dark-haired Princess to the bone. And out of the snow came a voice, slow and rusty, aged in the manacles of time. The voice said:
“Your Prince is dead. He was killed in a battle in the horrible war in the West. But he died honorably, and now I see why he felt he had to: You were in his thoughts, and he could not bear to return to you a failure. And so it goes.”
The Princess feel to her knees, and let out a wracking sob. The voice continued:
“No, do not be sad. I have been watching you, and seen that your love has been tested many times, and has never been overcome. And so I will return him to you, from the Land of the Dead, where even now he looks out into the dark sky and calls your name.”

And it came to be. The Prince was standing there on the cupola, a bit blue, a bit snow-fogged, but nonetheless alive. He shook his head once, twice, and then said:
“You will never believe what has happened to me.”

The Princess rushed to him, and clasped him close, and whispered in his ear, “I love you with all my soul. I knew you would return.”

And the land came alive again, slowly, but with an inexorable will, and the evil men fled to other lands, to trouble other people.
And the slimy mud wells turned once again crystal clear.
And the withered brown trees bloomed emerald green.
And the birds and flying rats raised their voices again to the sky.
And the people in the land raised their eyes to the castle balcony, where the Princess and her Prince were together and all were flushed of any feelings of sadness or remorse.

The End

Sorry, a bit long, a lot trite, but it’s the best I could come up with in ten minutes. :slight_smile:

  • Apologies to Peter Straub

Another poem…I think this is also Ogden Nash, but I’m sure someone will be along to correct me if I’m wrong.

No matter how grouchy you’re feeling,
You’ll find the smile more or less healing,
It grows in a wreath,
All around the front teeth,
Thus preserving the face from congealing.

I don’t have any happy stories to share, exactly, because most of my stories are long and meandering and usually without a point. Instead, here are a few happy thoughts that made me smile today.

First, I’ll recite one of my favorite poems from childhood that I think you might enjoy.


Listen to the Mustn’t by Shel Silverstein
Listen to the MUSTN’TS, child,
Listen to the DON’TS
Listen to the SHOULDN’TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me–
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.

Second, I’ll share my official, personal happy thought of the day. Someone I adore sang one of my new favorite songs for me this afternoon. How smashing is that?

Third and finally, I’ll give Turpentine a hug and a sperm-balloon.

OH! As long as we’re doing Silverstein…
There’s too many kids in this tub!
There’s too many kids in this tub!

I just washed a behind that I’m SURE wasn’t mine,
There’s too many kids in this tub!

** Sorry, a bit long, a lot trite, but it’s the best I could come up with in ten minutes. **

Trite? Never, not a bit! It was very sweet.
Yeah, i wouldn’t believe me, either.

Then again, I think the most profound things in the universe are those that are the most trite.
I cry during commercials where they advise you to seek zen and follow your heart (and buy the product). Those young turks at the advertising agency are right, you know- we just don’t listen to them. :frowning:
But I digress. Thank you Necros, for the ten minutes and the fairy tale. I’ll send my lead flutter-rat Fatso out to deliver you a bit of sparkleberries or something. Or perhaps I’ll send him out to rip the throat out of anyone you ask him to with his blunt incisors (Fatso might look like a wee angel but he can do that too, you know).

Miss Seredipity, Yes that happens to be a favorite of mine (next to the bathtub one), you made a nice selection.

** Second, I’ll share my official, personal happy thought of the day. Someone I adore sang one of my new favorite songs for me this afternoon. How smashing is that? **

Is you talking about whom I think you are? If so that is indeed smashing.
Huzzah to all!