The OP immediately reminded me of “I’m fuckin’ this custard!” – the punch line to the joke about the guy with the thick New York accent who throws a costume party where guests have to dress up as some emotion or other.
Never heard it before, but with the amount of work I need to do on the Toyota that requires an additional set of hands but no knowledge of the overall plan I must say the wife is in for some aural pleasure when we get back to it this fall. 
I had a similar idea with regard to the woodworking project my husband and I are about to undertake, although I will be the tail-holder.
Grew up in Texas and lived in California for a few years. Never heard it, but I swear I’ll find a use for it.
Obviously I am the only person on the Dope who has heard John Mellencamp’s Theo and Weird Henry.
Couple of wild boys
They told me they could hear the grass grow.
Theo used to say, hey Henry, man,
I’m screwin’ this cat.
You’re just holdin’ it. – John Mellencamp
I’ve never heard it. Maybe it’s a regional thing.
That sound so familiar. I can’t place exactly where I heard it or something similar. Basically I’m doing some project badly and you need to keep helping. I fully get the meaning. Been there done that too many times.
Nope, never heard it.
And, frankly, this thread is making me nervous. holds down tail :eek:
My understanding is that “screw the pooch” was one of the wrong-stuff parts of The Right Stuff - the real phrase is indeed “fuck the dog” and that was too raw for the endless use of it in a 1979 mainstream book. Is there any evidence of “pooch” prior to the 1970s, other than as an obvious euphemism, or did Wolfe create it?
I’ve heard it, but I’ve also used and heard, “You’re screwing this moose, I’m just holding the antlers.” As in, “Hey, you’re the one in charge, I’m just doing what you tell me.”
I’ve heard it as screwing the monkey, which I think it better than cats because, you know, monkeys.
Care to share where “here” is so we can see if it is… well, maybe the same household as Johnny’s SO?
Virginia.
I’ve heard it many time. and agree it means " this is my deal, you just shut up and hold the dummy end of the tape" I have also heard it with the addition “I’ll name one of the kittens after you.”
From the album Big Daddy, my favorite Mellencamp album. I love that song, but I still don’t know what that means.
Never heard it growing up in West Texas. Don’t recall hearing it used in Albuquerque or Hawaii either. Don’t recall ever hearing it before, although I must have heard it in the John Mellencamp song.
Never heard the cat thing but holding snake’s head is an oldie.
Last year I had a question about a similar line by Mantan Moreland. The punchline involved mashed potatoes.
There is a similar army expression. A messed up situation or a plan going to shit is refered to as a goatfuck. If someone is butting in where they aren’t supposed to be or trying to micromanage the expression is, “I’m fucking this goat, let go of the horns.”
Not into screwing cats. All we ever do is some heavy petting.