Girls won’t even give me their phone numbers, let alone go out on a date with me. I can’t even get my foot in the door (metaphorically speaking). I thought I had a chance with this girl at the library who was into fantasy books, but apparently not.
This desire for physical contact burns within me with the intensity of thousand Suns, bottled up with nowhere to go. It’s been a year since I’ve had a girlfriend.
God, I just want to touch someone.
Im full of sympathy–lonliness sucks like nothing else in the world. And moments of feeling like you are feeling now are normal and inevitable and, in some sense, probably healthy.
That said, you will never find happiness in a relationship until you have learned to be happy alone. It just won’t work, because if you are dependent upon another person for your happiness, it puts you too completely in their power, it puts too much pressure on them, for the two of you to ever be happy together. Do you want some girl to feel like she is trapped in a relationship with you because she knows you would be miserable without you? No, you want a girl who choses to be with you for selfish reasons, because she is crazy about you and likes to be with you.
When you are looking at a girl like she’s your chance for salvation and deliverance, she wants to run screaming–she dosne’t want to be another person’s salvation, she wants a lover, a partner, a friend.
Furthermore, a smart girl knows that the attitude you have now means that you arne’t interested in a girl for who she is, you’re interested in a girl for how she makes you feel–and that’s not flattering.
Lastly, it is especially not flattering when a guy is desperate because it suggests he’d settle for most anyone that would take him, which is pretty insulting to the girl he asks out, if you see what I mean.
Luckily, learning to be happy on your own and meeting chicks that want to date you can be accomplished i the same way–spend time doing social tihngs that you enjoy for their own sake. You like to read fantasy books? Join a bookclub, take a community college class on fantastic literature or creative writing, go to a roll-playing convention, strike up conversations with people you see reading books you like (though not just the cute, or even female, ones–experience striking up conversations with all sorts of people is important here).
Try to be someone you would want to date. This dosen’t mean you have to change yourself, but rather accept who you are, learn to like who you are, see what you have to offer awesome chicks.
And if you always–or even often–feel like you felt when you wrote the OP, go see your doctor ASAP. You sound depressed, and there are many different things that can really help with depression–but love isn’t one of them. Trust me on this.
Just a year?
It gets better after the first 2-3 years.
-Single and unattached for 5 years.
(not that it is a GOOD thing) 
Manda JO --True dat.
Have you condsidered drinking? It might help.
Honestly, a year is not an unnatural amount of time to be between girlfriends. I am always a bit suspicious of people who can’t seem to live w/o a significant other in their lives for awhile. It says to me that they are bascially insecure and frightened people. Do you just want a girlfriend for the sake of getting laid? Like Manda says, that attitude is not going to make you happy, nor in the end is it going to get you laid. Try to relax, find a social group, make some new friends, both male and female, since you never know who knows who etc…
And don’t say shit like;
ever.
I’ve only become desperate because of my complete and utter lack of success I’ve had with the opposite sex lately, not because I’ve been seeking salvation.
Perhaps somehow I’m sending off a vibe of desperation, even though I try really hard not to. Maybe from my view I’m having a normal conversation, but from her view I’m like Gollum leering after his “Precious”.
I know, but I’m not just going up to random girls and asking them out. These are all people I know, and there’s something about their personalities I like.
And I have turned a girl down because I wasn’t attracted to her. She was kind of overweight and unpopular, but I think it’s proof I won’t just take anything with a vagina.
I also went on a “blind” date a month ago. It went reasonably well, but I chose not to do any follow up because I wasn’t that interested.
It’s a friggin message board, you think I’m dumb enough to say that shit in real life? I know I must be making some huge errors with girls, but it isn’t on account of THAT. I don’t expect any of you to meet me in real life, and if we do bump into each other you won’t recognize me as “Blalron”. so I’m going to use the anonymity of this forum to let off some steam.
Other people (coughMandaJocough) give much better relationship advice than I do, but I’m a keep-to-myself kind of girl and I know all about the skin hunger you describe. When I get that way, a massage always makes me feel a million times better. (I mean a massage from a genuine massage therapist, not from a “massage parlor,” though I guess that would probably make you feel better, too.) If you’re not dead broke, a massage is an affordable luxury, and the relaxation and comfort you get from it is more than worth it. And if money’s an issue, any massage schools in your area probably offer deep-discount rates to people willing to let students work them over.
Ooh! Better idea! Sign up for a community ed massage class! There will be girls there. You’ll practice technique on each other in class. You can blush and admit to your partner that it’s a slightly uncomfortable situation, but the two of you can laugh it off. You won’t look like a pervert, you’ll meet new people and a good time will be had by all. (YMMV, of course. Offer void in Swaziland and the Dominican Republic.)
Only 5 years? Amateur.
You have this burning, aching hole in your center, right? You in the middle of reading a book and you suddenly put it down and stare off into space because you are hit by weird waves of emotion that you don’t know what to do with, right? Sometimes you literally ache with the need for someone to touch you, just touch you, right? When you see happy couples, or valentines day stuff, or “I love John” scrawled on the back of someone’s notebook, you are filled with the weirdest mix of sadness and resentment and hope and pain, right?
And if some girl would just go out with you, all this would be better, right?
Well, wrong, but that’s what it means to think that some girl could be salvation. You and your 'burning suns" show all the symptoms.
You know youare going to get reamed for saying this? As a former overweight, unpopular girl, I’m really pretty pissed, and only my naturally sympathetic nature is causeing me to restrain myself. I suspect that others on the board will not be so polite, and if you don’t want this thread to become a trainwreck, I’d do some pretty quick backpedaling, starting with “rejecitng a girl becaue of her weight and what other people think of her is wrong . . .”
I’d be lying if I said the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. It was the way you talked about fantasy books, and then segued into that wonderful bit of imagery that led me to feel that I should point out that such poetry is probably a thing best kept to one’s self.
God go with you as you deal with your loneliness, Blalron.
I know where you coming from Blalron, I think most of us have had his experience or are in his state, haven’t we?
Blalron you had me at the OP but then morphed into a jerk.
I think you lost me when you went from “God I just want to touch someone” to “It’s only a friggin message board.” The comment about your selflessness in considering an overweight, unpopular girl (but then turning against it because of personality conflicts) really nailed it.
At this point, my advice would be to grow up, and then go looking for popular, thin chicks.
That kind of attitude won’t get you a girlfriend. You do realize those kind of comments can offend a lot of people? My girlfriend is overweight, does this mean I’m going out with her out of sympathy? Engage brain before opening mouth. I’m not flaming you personally, I’m making a suggestion that may help you with getting another girlfriend.
Samarm, I keep doing this everytime I talk to a girl, how do I overcome this?
You keep doing what, exactly? Ryan, I’m no expert on picking up girls, believe me. I’ve been on my own before and I know what it’s like to be lonely. All said and done it’s down to you to get out there and meet people, it ain’t gonna happen all by itself.
All I’m saying is you need to have the right attitude to begin with. I don’t know why you’re asking me for advice, but if you want some tips then I would suggest:
I’m sure other people could post some suggestions, that’s just some things I thought of just now. Well you wanted some advice from me, so there it is. Just don’t come back and blame me if it doesn’t work. 
You’re right, Ryan. I do live in the same state as Blalron. Oregon. And I have lived alone since 1987, when I got divorced. But I have had gentlemen callers throughout the years. Because I’m open to meeting people based on their minds and personalities, not their physical looks. Besides, I could never date someone prettier than I.
Otherwise, I would have withered away waiting for Paul Newman to rescue me on a white charger.
C’mon, Blalron, there’s tons of girls here in Oregon! Heavy ones, thin ones, conservatives and tree-huggers. A big pool to choose from. By excluding yourself to the thin, popular ones; you are missing out. You must be in a school setting, because ‘popularity’ doesn’t mean squat when you’re out of high school.
And let me add that it couldn’t hurt to improve yourself. Now, I don’t know you, and for all I know you’re Adonis with a keyboard. But just in case you’re not, let me suggest that you take that burning desire and use it to improve yourself. Lose weight. Get some exercise. Get your teeth fixed up. Get a nice haircut. Learn to cook. Keep your apartment/house tidy. Broaden your interests. Learn some culture.
Robert Heinlein once said, “There’s no such thing as good luck and bad luck - only an ability to deal with a statistical universe.” One of these days, “Mrs. Right” will pass through your life. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to do everything in your power NOW so if that opportunity arises she might actually give you a second look.
Another quote I like: “One definition of insanity is to continue doing the exact same things that you’ve been doing all along, but somehow expecting the outcome to be different tomorrow.”
Everyone can improve. Take a good inventory, and get to work.
It’s like your psychic or something. You’ve described how I feel perfectly.
I’m sure there’d be some improvement, anything would have to be better then my current state of affairs.
Look, I’ll qualify my statement:
What makes me attracted to someone is two things, looks and personality. Those two things are linked, and a lot of one thing could make up for a lack of another. If a girl has a spectacular personality her weight wouldn’t have much of an impact (within reason, of course).