Yes, right here - where it says, “Tea - $2.50.” We didn’t order tea. And it’s there ten times. That’s $25.00 extra added to the bill. Oh, wait - surely you don’t mean… you do? You’re charging us, per person, for a pot of tea? The same pot of tea that every other Chinese restaurant on the face of the planet includes with the meal? You’re, in all seriousness, charging us for what every restaurant I’ve ever been to gives us gratis like glasses of water and the fried noodles to munch on before you get us our meal? You’re charging us for flavored water?
If I could say it in Mandarin, I would - suck my dick. For $25.00, each and every person at this table deserves a blowjob - even the women.
Oh, and while I’m at it, might I inquire about this charge of $0.11? Pardon me? You’re charging me for what? You’re charging me eleven cents for barbeque sauce? I’m sorry, did I walk into a McDonald’s in the Twilight Zone? When did this start happening? I still get ketchup, mustard, napkins and a straw for free, don’t I? And where the hell did you come up with eleven cents? Make it an even dime, for God’s sake, if you’re going to charge me for something that every other fast food restaurant on the planet gives us free!
You, too, may get on your knees and service my man-tool. I don’t care if it’s a lousy eleven cents - if you’re gonna screw me, you’re gonna get me off, too.