I'm Sorry, But I Refuse to Share Your Defeatest Attitude

The BBQ Pit
1

I know that you think that if the US pulls out of Iraq before whatever vaguely defined “victory” Bush has in mind is achieved, terrorists will detonate an Iranian built nuke in NYC, thus killing untold number of puppies, kittens, baby beauty queens, and possibly Paris Hilton, some picoseconds after it’s announced that we’re pulling out of Iraq. And I know that you think if this happens, the first action of whomever might be President will be to surrender unconditionally, force all of us to obey Sharia Law, and then promptly to commit seppuku, along with the other branches of government, but I just can’t buy that any of this is going to happen. Why? Because, unlike you, I have faith in the American people!!!

Let’s just say that terrorist do manage to detonate a nuke on US soil. I can tell you exactly what’s going to happen, no matter who is President: The entire world is going to collectively crap their pants and say, “Oh, shit. We’re all fucked now.” The various governments of the world will be falling all over themselves to try and prove that they had nothing to do with it, except, of course, for the nation who was so stupid as to be involved. They’ll probably be able to get off a “neener neener neener” before their country is reduced to radioactive slag.

Oh, but you say, if there’s a Democrat in the White House, they’ll say we have to be nice to the poor misunderstood terrorists and surrender to them. No, sorry. If we somehow manage to elect Wimpy McPissypanties as President, and they try to pull that shit, I’m confident that someone (probably in the Secret Service or the Joint Chiefs) will sit the President down and show them that lovely little scene in JFK where Kevin Costner keeps saying, “Back, and to the left.” over and over again. If President McPissypanties still says we need to send the terrorists a bunch of Rainbow Monkey[sup]TM[/sup] dolls to try and smooth things over, President McPissypanties will suddenly “be unable to perform their duties as President” and be replaced by the Vice President who will have a firm idea of what needs to be done. (Can you say, “Just witnessed an ‘accidental’ weapons discharge that incapacitated the President.”? I knew you could.) What makes me say this? My faith in the American people.

But, what the hell, let’s say that doesn’t happen, either. And our government surrenders while a zillion Al Qaeda sleeper cells suddenly become active to take control of our country. While you might think that all of America is simply going to say, “Well, okay.” I happen to know that every freakin’ redneck in America is going to whip out almost as much firepower as the US military has and begin shooting anyone who looks vaguely middle eastern. (I know that plenty of non-rednecks will do this as well, but let’s just stay with the rednecks, shall we?) How can I “know” such a thing, you ask? It’s pretty fuckin’ simple, really. I live in redneck central, I work with rednecks, I’ve even slept with rednecks, and I can tell you a good number of them are just itching to go all Rambo on somebody’s ass. I can tell you that what you call “civilization” is a very thin veneer over the heart of the beast. (I live not too far from a town that just recently cut down the “lynching tree” which grew in the town square.) So, the islamofascists (or whatever you’re calling those folks your paranoid delusions have convinced you are lurking at the gates) can “bring it on” all they want, they’ll die like lemmings.

Oh, but what the hell, let’s just say that the rednecks capitulate as well. Fine. Then it’ll be just me versus the terrorists. Fuck it, I’ll kill as many of them as I can, for as long as I can. It doesn’t matter to me if I’m one among many going after them, or if I’m the only one. I know that sooner or later people will come to their senses and throw off the yoke of their oppressors. Why? Because, unlike you, I have faith in the American people.

So go ahead, sit in your comfy chair, scream at your TV all you want that anyone who thinks we should pull out of Iraq is going to doom us all, while you crap your pants, I’m not going to join you. Nope. Sorry. I refuse to live my life in fear, and I’m not going to brand anyone who disagrees with me a “traitor.” You, however, can do that to your heart’s content, thanks to people like me. (You know, the ones who have faith in the American people.)

P.S. You’re welcome.

2

The clearest example I have seen why one should not post under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or rage.

Enthusiasm: 9.6
Coherence: 3.0

3

I know this is a stupid question, but who is “you” in the OP?

4

You are taking some right wing talking points and turning that into the opinions of all the right and all the conservatives, then go about refuting all of it.

Brilliant.

Should have known that any jackass that doesn’t ‘get’ Ferraris ain’t gonna ‘get’ politics.

5

Okay, Einstein, show me where I said that everyone on the right feels this way.

Oh, and I “get” Ferrari’s, I just don’t like most of them.

6

Goddamn Oakminster socks.
Will we never be free of them?

7

The rednecks got my back, I’ll sleep well now.

8

“You cannot enslave a free man. The most you can do is to get him drunk.”
– Some wag at a Mañana Literary Society party, shortly after Heinlein wrote the lines it parodies.

9

Tuckerfan - are you serving in Iraq right now?

10

I think somebody forgot to take their meds this morning. Either that, or their radio was stuck on Rush Limburger. Although I do agree with paragraphs 2, 4, and 7.

11

I think some of these “rednecks” seriously picture the day when they’ll be making their last stand in their homes ala Ralphie Parker with his Red Ryder, picking off terrorists from their back porch as they climb over their white picket fences dressed in sheets and turbans holding machetes in their mouths.

12

I just want to know who Wimpy McPissypants’ running mate is … I want to get a head start on printing the bumperstickers.

13

Personally, I would really appreciate it if people could tag their threads “ATAI” (Another Thread About Iraq) or “ATAB” (Another Thread About Bush") or “ATAR” (Another Thread About Religion") so that I’d know which ones not to bother to click open.

Thanks ever so.

14

Why don’t you narrow down who ‘you’ is in your rant?

If you were addressing a few narrow-minded pompous a-holes that don’t actually represent everyone, me thinks you’d call them by name. Okay, we get the whole Tuckerfan refutes-some-right-wing-talking-points, but address your rant towards >insert who you are pitting<.

15

If you hover your mouse pointer over the thread title, you can read a few lines of the OP. You’d have seen both “Iraq” and “Bush” without clicking.

16

Where is that guy ? I miss his unabashed ratings and freewheeling use of “fuckwit”. :cool:

17

I think Tucker may be referring to this thread. Or maybe some of the opinions expressed in this one.

18

As someone who’s likely to be killed if AQ gets a nuke, I agree with the OP. Al qaeda simply doesn’t pose an existential threat to the U.S. If we abandon Iraq, the threat they pose won’t get any worse than it is now.

19

I realize. But sometimes I click and open without hovering first, when there’s no reason to think the thread is related to the usual dead horses. I don’t really expect people to code their tiresome threads with “Warning! Tiresome!” But it would be nice.

20

I generally report threads like this one that have poor titles that do not describe the thread properly. The mods often add some more description like (re:Iraq pullout) to the title. But, even though the other forums will correct these titles pretty consistently, often the pit mods seems to frequently ignore these requests.