I'm Superman!

The BBQ Pit
1

And I’m going to pit the entire world. Or at least everyone and everything that needs to be yelled at. I’ve spent a long time wondering exactly what personal responsability is, and why it should fall on the shoulders of those who understand the concept of it. It should be common sense, no?

First up, the obese. Not the overweight, but the obese. I’m sure everyone reading this can relate needing to lose a few pounds, but this is for the super-chunky body with extra thick gravy blood crowd.

Hey tubby! You! Yes, you! I see you with your super sized Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese and a Diet Coke. I’m having the same thing, sans onions and Diet Coke. I perfer Sprite myself. Well, we’re the same height. We’re about the same age. How old are you, anyway? Twenty two? Oh, so you’ve got me by a few months. Ok. How much do you weigh? What? Its none of my business? It will be when your doublewide rump ends up on disability because you’ve had a stroke or heart attack. Oh, you’re two hundred fifty? C’mon…you’re pulling my leg! I would have guessed five hundred. No? Not five? You sure? Oh, so its closer to three fifty? I can see that. Yea, I can see that. Are you happy with your body? I figured you wern’t. So…what are you doing to take care of it? You work out? Cool! Great! What do you do? Um hum…you walk a quarter mile twice a week? How quickly do you get it done in? Six minutes…you don’t say!? Is that all? No? Well, then what else? Oh, you mow the lawn? Walk behind power mower? Oh, I see. Yea, lawn tractors can be hard to ride. Oh, and you climb stairs at work? Ten stories a day? Great! Oh, wait, you work in a two story building. How about eating? You eat your vegatables? No? Salads? NO? Why not? Oh, I see, you don’t like the flavor. Well, tell you what. You want to lose the weight? I’ll help you. Come by my office later, and we’ll get you a flightline badge so you can run with the rest of our squadron for our morning PT. No, no, its nothing! I insist! Oh, come on, we only run five miles each day! Its not that much! Well, I can get you a moment with Capt. Davis to get a nutrition guide set up for you. No? But…I thought you wern’t happy with your weight? I see. Ok, well, when you have that heart attack, remember Sgt Fush. I told you so.

(This occured at the McDonalds on Highway 15 South, on Sept 2nd, 2003. I was asked to depart the premises for harassing one of their best customers.)

Second, pretenders. Specifically one member of the City Council who lays claim to being a disabled Vietnam Veteran. No Purple Heart, no! He’s eighty percent disabled due to diabetes from Agent Orange.

Excuse me. I couldn’t help but overhear you say you’re disabled due to Agent Orange. Really? You sure? Tell me about it, I love to hear war stories. Yes, I’m Air Force. See, its what the name tape says. Oh, you were a Marine? In country from '67-'73 you say? Oh, ok, I stand corrected. '67, '68, '69, and '73. What was your MOS? 0331, machine gunner, right? See! I knew it. Well, go on. Oh, so you remember being sprayed a few times by this light orange mist and that it burned your skin and made you pee blood? Hmm…interesting. Go on. Oh, your counselor from the VA said that it must have come from exposure to Agent Orange. Where’d you get it the most? When you were near Cam Ranh Bay? Are you sure? Hmmm…let me get this straight, you were sprayed with an orange colored liquid in '67. Yep? And in ‘68? And ‘69? And ‘73? I see. So…your diabetes comes from Agent Orange and not being a self-proclaimed hard fightin’ hard drinkin’ hard lovin’ Marine? Fella, you’re full of shit. Oh, so your disabled ass is going to wipe the floor of this here Waffle House with my ass? I’ve got you dead to rights on your lies. Oh, I don’t know what went on there? I’m too young to know what happened? Uh huh…you do know that all of our ground forces were gone by '72, right? Oh, you were on ‘covert’ missions? I seel. Spying and such? Um hum…You do know that Agent Orange isn’t linked to diabetes, only soft-tissue sarcomas, non-Hodgkins limphoma, chloracne and some respratory cancers? And that it was colorless, odorless and was named for the stripe on the shipping container, and that of the individuals who flew in Operation Ranch Hand often drank the stuff to show how ‘tough’ they were, with no long term ill effects? OH! You’re having a flashback!? I’ve never see this in real life before! Brenden the cook isn’t going to throw me out, I have yet to break any of the resturant’s rules! And if you’re so fucking diabetic, why the hell are you eating strawberry waffles and drinking Coca-Cola?! I ought to take your ass to the VA and show how much a fraud you are! Ok Brenden, I’ll leave. Sorry about the trouble. And you, you lying sack of shit, if I ever, EVER hear you’ve been spreading these lies again I WILL WASH THE FLOOR OF THIS HERE WAFFLE HOUSE WITH YOUR CRIPPLED DIABETIC ASS!

(Occured around 5pm on July 4, 2003, at the Waffle House on the 1000 block of Broad Street. The manager later thanked me, as he wanted to say the same stuff but couldn’t as the fraud was a paying customer.)

Third, believers in the racism hue and cry. No, you’re not being discriminated against. Want real descrimination? Lets watch some tapes from the '60s.

Sorry, you can keep your flier. No, I’m not all that into politics. Well, whats your cause about? Racism, huh? Yea, thats what my mother said. She was always like “Fush, you must stick together with people who aren’t white.” So I’m half-Korean, half-white. Yep, I’ve got a lot of black friends, who doesn’t? I see. You believe that this school is racist? Why do you say that USC-Sumter is racist? Oh, because you were failed out. What reason did they give? Missing too many classes? Yep, bummer. One of my best friends got it, and he was deployed to Germany! No, no, my friend was white. Oh, so that’s ok? Color me confused, but why is that ok? Because he’s white? But its not ok because you’re black? I see. Well, tell me, how many days did you miss? Twenty six? Good God! What happened? You were in the hospital? Didn’t you take your excuse to Dr. Lynwood? Oh, so it only covered four days. What about the other ones? A trip? School related? No? Hmm…what for? Really, a two week vacation at the beach. How was it? Well, I’m glad you had fun. But, why is the school racist for failing you because you spent fourteen days at the beach? Oh, I’m sorry, when you said two weeks, I assumed fourteen days. I didn’t know it was only twelve. So, because they weren’t willing to give you incompletes for leaving school for a beach trip, you’re saying they’re racist? How many other blacks got tossed last semester? Two more that you know of? Why? One failed out and the other got caught with drugs? Huh, yep, its got to be racism. Listen, bo, it ain’t racism. Take some fucking responsability for your own actions and keep your flyer.

(Occured in Sept of 2002, outside the Jack Anderson Library at the University of South Carolina, Sumter.)

…

I’m sorry, but I can’t go on. I guess I’m not Superman after all. I’ll be back after I recharge my batteries.

2

You should really check out the fat-bashin’ threads in the pit, y’know, just as a precaution.

3

Yeah, fat people that are overweight from laziness and overeating and no excercise that complain about being overweight really annoy me, too.

But then, few people match that criteria, thankfully…

4

Um, just a question here.

Do you also berate people who smoke/drink/eat lots of sodium who could also end up on disability because of cancer, liver disease, high blood pressure/heart disease?

Or do you just pick on the obese because it’s easiest to see?

5

I smoke, drink, eat lots of sodium. I also eat tons of carbs, an overreaching amout of fat, and don’t get much sleep. Yet I’ve also got bloodpressure that’s 110/70 with a resting heartrate of 58. I’ve got a best 2 mile of 10minutes, 3 seconds. I have an average 5 mile of 31 minutes, 20 seconds. My last PT physical showed 110 situps in 2 minutes, 81 pushups in 2 minutes, and can do 29 chinups without stopping.

With that said, when I entered the Air Force at the age of 17 (shipped three months before my birthday, right after HS graduation) I was a slovenly 240lbs on a 5’10" frame. During BMT, even AFTER increasing my general caloric intake, I dropped ninety (90) pounds in just over six and 1/2 weeks. I left BMT weighing 148 and in great shape. Why? PT and eating right. No more Big Mac combos and Slushies. I’ve returned to some of my poorer eating habits, but I work out harder in return. Why is it so hard to see that some fat fucks are FAT because they are LAZY. The fellow I was talking about works in the TMO office in the Wing HQ building. Its a squat two-story building that I have to go into when delivering the operations orders for my squadron, and this fellow is always stuffing his goddamned face. Stop eating!

As for picking, I pick at that which I can note. I’ve known people who were vegetarians (pity them) who died of heart disease. I’ve seen three pack a day smokers live into their 80’s without problems then BAM drop dead. I don’t pick unless I can see that you’re fucked up.

6

That’s great for you. Really. I’m excited.

I knew people just as physically fit as you who had strokes and went into comas and came out completely debilitated.

Anecdotal evidence doesn’t mean shit to me when it comes to who should be on disability and who shouldn’t be. I hate it that people are alcoholics/addicted to cigs/obese/eating too much damn sodium but I don’t think they don’t get to be on disability simply because I don’t drink often, I don’t smoke, I’m physically fit, and I eat very little sodium.

I guess I just think it’s rude to confront total strangers about their weight. Gently mentioning it to close friends/family who are unhealthy? That’s one thing, but just deriding someone you don’t know based on 30 seconds of interaction seems a little hasty to me.

7

[/quote]
I don’t pick unless I can see that you’re fucked up.
[/QUOTE]

pickpickpickpickpickpickpick pickpickpickpickpickpickpick pickpickpickpickpickpickpick pickpickpickpickpickpickpick

BTW, 81 pushups in 2 minutes is really nothing to write home about. I do 75 at a stretch when I’m bored (or I do other things, depending on my mood). Personal best is 251 straight. Did them during a comercial break during a Braves game.

8

Nocturne,

I just reread my original post, and I apologize for not being totally clear about my intent. I have no problem with people who are satisfied with their weights (ok, I’m lying, I still have a problem, but its because after having been there and done that, I can’t see why anyone who knows its possible to change not to…but I digress.) Its those louts who refuse to assume responsability for their own actions and especally when it starts hitting MY wallet. I can’t generalize, but the fact that this guy is just a hair older than me and does nothing to help himself. He bitches all the time about how hard it is to move, how he’s hoping to get disability so he can get a Hov-r-Round motorized wheelchair, and THAT, my friend, made me want to become physically confrontational.

Hell, if I found myself wheelchair bound due to my obesity, my last meal would consist of a half ounce of hot lead from the business end of my M9.

I backtracked and read (at Ryle Dup’s encouragement) one thread where a member named Mockingbird lost some 36 pounds in two months. A combination of drugs (due to his condition) and exercise and eating. Great work! It goes to show that people with who are willing to take responsability for their own conditions CAN and DO lose weight. Even if his friend (who’s name eludes me) lost less weight, the fact of the matter is, THEY LOST WEIGHT with diet and exercise. Its a simple plan, aparently too simple for the Nintendo generation.

9

iampunha

Not bad, not bad at all. That was my best when on a PT exam (usually the only time I’ve got another guy doing the whole 2-inches off the ground bit and if you don’t hit it, you don’t get credit.) For personal ‘bests,’ the most I did in a row was 193. First Thanksgiving back at home after joining, and my cousin John (an overweight pud who’s a year younger than me) made the crack that pushups were easy and he thought I was a heel for doing them when I got up. I bet him he couldn’t do five. I lost the bet, but he cound’t do a sixth one. He bet me I couldn’t do ten, at which point I cranked off 193 before having my right bicep cramp on me.

Anyway, like I said, if you put some effort into it, you’ll get some gain. Work out hard, your body becomes hard. Eat right, your body becomes right. It IS that simple (in most cases.)

10

Do you, Fush, honestly mean to say that you actually said these things to these people?

Holy shit!

:eek:

11

I think fush is next in line for a “what goes around comes around” lesson. Really, how old are you, buddy? 15? 16?

Unless we’re all being whooshed, which is almost probable.

12

VarlosZ:

Unfortunately,

13

Nah, he’s just at that age where he knows what’s best for everyone else and wants to tell them. My nephew is in that stage right now.

BTW, the main thing that caught my attention was the mention of USC-Sumter. I went there! But this was in 1988-89, so I’m sure there have been lots of changes since then.

14

I’m sorry, it’s just not that simple. The fact of the matter is that you just have no friggin clue what’s going on with these people, are you have simply are being terribly rude for publicly humiliating/insulting them.

I have something called fibro myalgia, despite the chronic fatigue and pain, I do work out, it’s 30 minutes of complete ankle pain (like walking on a sprained / broken ankle) to do a treadmill workout, but I still do it at least twice a week. I eat extremely healthy, and not very much, yet I’m something like 60-80 lbs overweight. I can’t help this.

After doing 193 pushups, what do you feel like? Tired? Ok, now image being like that, all day, without doing anything, then why don’t you work out?

Don’t tell me I’m the exception, I may have a rare disease, but I’m pretty goddamn sure every overweight person knows its bad for them, and isn’t exactly thrilled about it.

Mind yer own business, please.

15

You know what pisses me off Sgt Flush?

Crazy people. Yeah you that have these retarded conversations with yourself. What? Yeah you. You’re in the Air Force? God I hope not, though I suppose SOMEONE has to change the blue water on the big transports. What?, you can’t write in any coherent manner? Then don’t fucking write anything, you semi-literate monkey. What, you can beat up a diabetic cripple? There’s that good Air Force training and character shining through. You say you can run better than the morbidly obese? What’s that you say? Oh, well ain’t your “squadron” proud. And you can do push-ups too–well that’s reason enough for your delusions of adequacy. Can I have your autograph, you self-inflated turd?

No, I don’t really write like Sgt Fuckwit–just making a point. What a dim-bulb. I hope he never gets to handle the live ordinance–the blue water is more than enough for this putz.

16

aryk29, yes, yes I did.

VarlosZ, twenty one.

Heloise, really? Who were some of your professors? I know quite a few of them who are still there from the late 70’s when it was Clemson University in Sumter.

Ryle Dup, its not individuals like you who try. Disease or not, you at least attempt to keep yourself in shape, despite (as you put it)chronic fatigue and pain. Now, if Jesus G. in the TMO office did that, I wouldn’t have gone off on him. He’s a GS-5 attached to the wing’s TMO, and the only time I don’t see him eating is when we’re doing wing-wide breifings and he’s up at the lecturn reporting on his office.

Flang Dang. Change the ‘blue water’ on our transports. Thats lovely. Normally, I’m on Perimiter Road, in the cupola of a HMMWV behind a M2, watching the passers by on the other side of Shaw’s fence. That’s if I’m not pushing papers back at my desk. I dispise chair parade, you understand? Yes, I’m proud of my squadron, they are proud of me. If you have a problem with my speaking my mind to a crippled liar and a faker who’s on disability and refuses to take responsability for the fact that his pancreas doesn’t work because he (self admitedly) abused the shit out of himself when he was a Marine. As far as beating up this crippled liar and faker, well, he’s the one who opted for his own ass beating. I mean, after all, he did opt for the brawl right there. And as far as your below-par name calling, please, refrain from it until you come up with something a bit more creative than “Flush” and “Fuckwit.” It’s uncouth.

17

The thing that bothers me is that Fush dosn’t seem to like onions.
I gave up after that.

18

Purely anecdotal here, but after doing those 251 consecutive pushups (and I’ll be happy to do those 75 consecutive at any dopefest where there’s enough space and people don’t mind) I couldn’t lift a mug for a few minutes. My arms were so spent I couldn’t use them much at all to get up off the floor. And I was in fairly decent shape (to do 250 pushups, you kinda have to be).

Right now I am not in very good shape, though you wouldn’t know it from looking at me. The most exercise I get in a week is the walks my hunny and I take together (and, of course, personal time;)). I eat preservative-laden food, drink lots of soda (but also a good bit of water), candy, hot dogs, etc.

By all rights I ought to be a good hundred pounds heavier than I am (145 or so). I eat whatever I want (and in large-enough quantities) and don’t do much in the way of exercise. Hell, look at my post count! Do you think I got that by doing hours a day on a treadmill?

Lemme do a little experiment for you (scout’s honor, even though I was never a scout). I’m going to take a break from writing this and go do 75 pushups. My heart rate will rise rather markedly, mostly because I’m not in shape. But for some reason, I have this build. It allows for a lot of random physical exertion, and it takes a lot of abuse.

::we now pause for a random act of physical exertion::

  1. Took about a minute. No, I’m not kidding (on my honor as a doper).

So why can I, who make no effort to stay in shape, do this, yet people who do make a considerable effort to stay in shape can’t?

Got me. But I’m not about to assume that someone who is larger than me isn’t in as good condition.

19

May I suggest you commence eating some brain food?

20

Oh yeah? Well, I’m Wonder Woman!
… sorry.