I'm terribly disappointed with the recent lack of crackpots

Freemasonry? Nada.

Autolevitation? Zipola.

Scientology? Not even freakin’ Scientology? This is pathetic! If Cecil can’t flush out some crazies talking about that, might the battle against ignorance be finally won? No, I didn’t think so, either, but what the heck is going on?

They’re at their Winter Meeting deciding their “base causes” for the coming year.

Well I for one would like to know if it is true that all the US presidents except for JFK were Masons.

There. Happy?

As the guy who sorts through Cecil’s mail, I can tell you that we just haven’t got that many crackpot letters recently. The only ones are (1) conspiracy theorists whose idiocies are dealt with on many, many, many websites, or (2) short yes/no answers that won’t fill up a column.

He doesn’t make up the incoming letters.

That’s just what you want us to believe! I say he does make them up!

Open your eyes, people!

Just trying to do my part to help out the OP

I’m shocked you would suggest that that was my suggestion! What I am missing is the flock of loonies that the recent classic columns should have attracted to this board. Going to their home sites is no fun because there’s no one there to slap them down with the sword of reason. Okay, it’s still fun to watch them draw each other to greater heights of lunacy, but it lacks the uppance that should eventually come.

I can explain the lack of Freemasonry crackpots -

We got 'em all, they’re currently fertilizing our gardens under the pyramid on Mars (except for their eyes which are stacked on top of the pyramid)

Shall I describe how I can taste your punctuation?

I’m currently in an 11-step program for serial comma abusers, you’re bound to see some residual effects in other areas.

Well, that’s your problem right there: you’re looking for someone to put on a slap down with a sword of reason. One slaps with the fish of reason but stabs with the sword of reason. Geesh.

There are still the anti-Stratfordians. (news:humanties.lit.authors.shakespeare, which used to be their home, has recently been taken over by a solipsist).

No, no. That’s the Salmon of Wisdom. If you’re going to be pedantic, be correctly pedantic. :wink:

Maybe the fight against ignorance if finally making progress?

[dry lawyer’s cough]Ah, but in such happenstance I would point out that we’d appear to be mixing HGTTG/Python metaphors; though I suppose nonetheless thereupon could ensue the rejoinder that we have encountered another exemplar of the Inter-Connectedness of All Things, resulting in much rejoicing.[/dry lawyer’s cough]

I know you’re being facetious dropzone. However I’ve found with age that these type of battles are no longer fun; they have basically become exercises in humiliation or contests to see who can devise the most clever insult.

I’m far more interested in a serious community devoted to discussing questions/topics where I don’t automatically know the answer. “Fighting ignorance” isn’t always an external battle…

Ah, crackpot fads come and go, but Dr. Gene Ray (“a ‘Cubic Thinker’ and far wiser than any god, any scientist, and any educator who preaches the evil singularity of a single 1st corner,”) and his theory of the Time Cube (“EARTH HAS 4 CORNER SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE WITHIN SINGLE ROTATION.”) never fails to delight and inform. Witness:

The 4 quadrant corners of the
Earth sphere rotate as a quad
spiraling helix - thus creating
4 simultaneous days per each
rotation and 4 simultaneous
years per 1 orbit around Sun.
Greenwich day is of stupidity.
Academia and religion are as
entities which transgress upon
the Cubic values of life unity.
Human god has quarter value
as 1 human has 1-corner face.
Educators are teaching doom.
I charge academia, religion,
media and government with a
criminal act of collusion and
conspiracy against children.
USA on a path to cannibalism.
I plan to sue academic institutions for multi-
millions of dollars for their endangering the
lives of children through brainwashing and
indoctrination stupidity. I am seeking sharp
attorney interested in a case that transcends
the excitement of the Scopes Monkey Trial.

I don’t know what it all means, but when I’m feeling a little down at work I just pull up TimeCube.com and it reminds me of all the wonder and mystery in the world. (You just have to ignore the occasional nasty anti-Semitic and racist commentary that slips into the pure crazy that is Dr. Gene Ray.)


Well there is his problem, what he is really seeking is a stupid attorney…

Goodness, no!! A stupid attorney would get laughed out of court! Think how amazingly brilliant an attorney would be who manages to prove the world is square!!!

I mean, John Payne only managed to prove that Santa was real, and look how smart HE looked as a result (to say nothing of getting to marry Maureen O’Hara!).

Dude, if you have to reach that far for humor it isn’t worth it.

Sorry, drop, I certainly didn’t mean to imply that I thought you were implying Cecil would make up his letters. As a member of the Straight Dope Science Advisory Board, you can see the stuff we get in. It’s sadly pretty much devoid of interesting loonies.

My comment was intended to be addressed in general, to answer any suspicions or doubts.