I'm thinking, maybe, she's having lunch

Here’s a clue for your sorry ass: If you, AKA rectal fuck bomb, need to phone someone at this office, then you, AKA lobotomized cretin, can ascertain whether said zombified cubicle dweller is within the damn vicinity within, oh, say, 12 rings. Letting it go for, oh, say, 4874545747894 rings is not likely to bring your intended ZCD back from lunch any sooner. It will, however, cause me to rip said phone out of the wall, and should I ever find you, bludgeon you repeatedly with said phone until you die.

At my office, phones go to voicemail after 4 rings.

Is there any way the ZCD can forward their phone to their voice mail? We do that at my work.
I love it when my customers call during my lunch and get all pissed off because I’m not here. They know when I go to lunch. I go the same time every day. Of course they refuse to talk to my coworker, who works during my lunch. Thank god we can forward our phones. At least we don’t have to listen to the ringing while we eat.

Here, most of them do. But at every office I’ve ever worked in, there’s always at least one that doesn’t. Invariably, that’s the one that is called by idiots that have far more patience than I have nerves.

If ZCD could be found, then one could suggest that to ZCD. However, the problem lies partly with ZCD’s long absence.

And the phone that was ringing this morning was a conference room phone. It doesn’t have voicemail. Hell, it doesn’t even have touch tone.

And for fuck’s sake, if you then dial the receptionist, or if you’re connected to the receptions automatically, or if for whatever fucking reason you opt, in your juvenile inability to deal with frustration, start dialing randomly to get a Real Live Human Being then accept the fact that that person is not available and information is likely not going to be forthcoming about when they will be available.

RFB&LC: “Well,” he pled breathlessly because this is the most important thing in the whole wide world to the whole wide world, not just his sorry ass, “do you know when they’ll be back/be off the call?”
Innocent Receptionist (“IR”):“No.”
Voiceover: (as to simulate unspoken thoughts) “I am not his fucking mother/babysitter/Star Trek computer! Fuck off!”

There was a big public service union strike a few years ago.

My sister belonged to one of the unions that wasn’t on strike, and she had to field phone calls like this:

Clueless Masses: “I’m looking for Mr ZCD”
Sister: “His union is on strike.”
CM: “Well, do you know when he’ll be back?”
S: “… no, he’s on strike. I don’t know when it will end.”
CM: “Isn’t there anyone else in his office who can help me?”
S: “… no, they’re all on strike.”
CM: “When will they be back in the office?”
S: “I don’t know, maybe read the newspapers?”

… and so on

You think that’s annoying? In my office, we have the phones that go to voicemail after four rings. Once a week, at a minimum - a co-worker’s phone will ring while they’re away - ring four times…stop for two seconds… then ring four more times… then stop for two seconds… then do it again. These people aren’t leaving messages, they’re just calling over and over and over again, right in a row.

Also annoying are “Leaves her cellphone behind when she leaves, with the ringer volume at maximum” girl. And “Guy who knows I eat lunch from 11-11:30 every day, and yet, every time he calls me, calls me between that interval, so I have to screw with the voicemail stuff.”

Oh my god, I hate this. I don’t understand why they think they’ll get an answer faster if they keep looping around between two people who are obviously not answering their phones. When they finally get a live person, they chew that person out as if it’s their fault that my coworker and I are busy or at lunch. I don’t think the receptionists are paid enough to deal with that crap.

Oh, I have to chime in here.

Caller, who has tried to reach someone else and gets their voicemail, exits out of that to find a real person: “Is so-and-so there?”
Me: “One moment” transfers them back so they can go leave a message, because I neither know nor care if he is there
Caller, back again after a few rings: “He’s not answering, is he in the office?”
Me: “I can page him, one moment.” transfers the call yet again, putting it on hold, page the guy
Caller, after a longer hold, back again: “It’s me again; is so-and-so there?”
Me: “He didn’t answer his page, he must not be here, would you like his voice mail?”
Caller: “I already left him a voice mail, so let me just give you the message.”
Me: ARGH! DIE!

So now the guy has the caller’s voice mail, followed immediately by mine, telling him the exact same thing.

Luckily it’s not my full-time job, I just do it while the receptionist is out. If I had to deal with that all day I would scream.

Another one I hate is when they ask you to get up and go check personally to see if the guy is anywhere in the office.

I nearly killed a guy who did this to me when I worked night shift. He called my roomie (who worked days) to see if he could come out and party… the 6 times he got voicemail didn’t phase him because obviously Roomie must be there and sleeping through the phone. (And before you say it, yes I turned it off but Roomie would turn it on while I was asleep then go to work and leave it on, so I didn’t know it was on until the incessant ringing woke me) I don’t know what I’d do if it was at work,

“Sure, hold on a few minutes.” Place asshole on hold. Do whatever you need to do with your job. Wait until little blinking light goes out. When asshole calls back (because he will) state that you were unable to find the seekee and ask the asshold if he’d like to leave a message.

Gawd I had those people. :wally