I'm thinking of giving up on women...

No I’m not gonna start chasing men nor am I gay…

It’s serious, I’m sick and tired of thinking girls like me and I’m just gonna stop trying, besides no girl has even looked at me for ages and I’m beginning just not to care anymore…

I want you guys to help me. Have any of you been in this situation where you just get sick of trying and think of giving up?


You are now ready to get married. :wink: Good luck.

:confused: Huh?

Ryan, I mean this in a helpful and friendly way - have you looked into getting a livejournal? It seems like you’ve got an awful lot of thoughts to share with the world and livejournal is an excellent way to do this in a slightly less public forum. You’ve got a lot of posts very quickly and a whole bunch of them seem to be about your dealings with the opposite sex - perhaps a livejournal would be a good place to work through what you want to say?

Loads of us sdmb people have livejournals and it’s still public enough that a bunch of people see what you say and can give you feedback, but it also means that you have less than 20 bajillion threads on it :wink:

I did that earlier this year. 2 months later I met my first girlfriend.

Funny how that happens!
I think you’re on the right track, Ryan.
Both my husband and I had given up on dating before we met.
I hadn’t had a date or a boyfriend for over a year. Then I met him. The rest is history.
For some reason a ‘cleansing of the palate’ of sorts seems to help.
Take a breather. Let her find you. It’ll happen. I promise.

As long as you’re “looking”, it ain’t gonna happen.

As soon as you quit… BAM!

How old are you, Ryan? Give yourself 15 or 20 years of dating before you “give up.” Me, I gave up on men about ten years ago and have never regretted my decision . . .

But…but…you love women!

17 Manhattan

You are only 17? You give up too easily.

Yeah well…lets call it a retreat.

Ack! My last post was eaten, this replacement while less witty is likely more helpful.
Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
-Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)

Ryan, You don’t have to give up women, you just have to give up the notion that you’ll ever understand us.

Relax a little, things happen when they’re meant to.

Good remark Venus.

Personal observation: if you need a woman to make you happy, you don’t deserve one.

I say this from experience: I’ve tended to be “clingy” in my past relationships, which ultimately meant that I was more interested in the other person for what she could do for me, not the other way around. Women pick up on that. (Men pick up on that too, it just takes longer.)

Point being that you can’t look to a woman for personal fulfillment. If you’re woman-chasing because you feel “left out” or “pressured” (a lot of your classmates and friends are dating, I’ll bet), it’s the wrong reason to go about it. In that sense, “giving up” on women might be the right answer…for now.

No, really…I learned to quit looking for a girlfriend as a means of fulfillment this past summer. My outlook on life became a LOT better after that, because suddenly this unattainable goal wasn’t dominating my thoughts anymore. Suddenly, I had one less important thing to worry about.

And, just as you’d expect, I met a wonderful girl at the beginning of this school year, and we’ve been dating over three months now. Seriously, man…the “stop looking” philosophy works.

It just seems God has laid out a path of celibacy for me…

17? Don’t give up, just stop looking. THere is a difference. Keep washing your hair and shave occasionally and you’ll be ok.

Well, I gave up when I was 18, met my hubby when I was 19 and married him when we were 21 (last year).
I definitely think that 17-18 is a good time to step away from the idea of looking for someone and start to enjoy your life, do a little soul searching, and see what you find.

"And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. "
– Kahlil Gibran