No.
I should have told them, because when I said that he should tell them, he refused to.
That’s been preying on my mind since this whole debacle started.
It’s always tough to go against your partner’s wishes. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with all of this.
I got back from the hospital a little while ago.
At the start of the visit, I laid out on the table the fact that now everybody knows, and I’ve told the doctor. I’ve told him I’m going to the drug & alcohol counselling service but that they want him to call and make his own appointments with them. I’ve told him my whole family will support him, but in the end it’s his own decision to make.
Then I said we wouldn’t speak of it again until later and left it. Whilst he’s still recuperating I don’t want to have it all being pushed on him.
He’s in okay spirits for now. I hesitate to say good because whilst we were laughing and playing around a bit after The Talk was over and some time had passed, whilst it was happening he got visibly distressed. He seems to think there’s no options for him at the moment, and I’ve got to work to change that idea that he’s got stuck in his head. If I can talk him into the counselling, that will be the first step.
I took the money I’d been refunded from the hotel booking I had to cancel and got him a PSP, some games and some movies. It’s a bit excessive, but he gets bored very easily, and when he gets bored is when he’s most likely to try and remove himself from the situation. If I can keep him occupied, he might keep his ass in that bed.
But he’s seeming a lot happier when I’m spending the time with him, and that’s making me happier. It’s a relief to know that when I go in there he’s going to be happy to see me, rather than not even wanting to talk to me. That he’s asked me to keep coming in makes me hopeful. When I was there, this HUUUUUGE gift basket rocked up - full of cheese and dips and crackers and chips and dried fruit (all things he can’t eat. He’s now on clear liquids only). It was from his boss. And that also makes me feel a little more comforted and happy - he’s only a temp, but if his boss is sending a basket like that to him it means that they’re (hopefully) going to be flexible with him whilst this is going on. Being a temp means he’s not getting sick pay, but I’m hoping this means that they’re not just going to cut him loose because he’s missed some work due to illness (like some temp jobs are prone to do).
The thing at the moment that’s a bit distressing for me is that he’s starting to withdraw. It’s only mild right now, cold extremities and some aching in his legs. But I know from when he’s tried to quit in the past that it’s only going to get worse over the next few days. I need to get my hands on a doc tomorrow and tell them he’s going to be withdrawing - I just hope they’re not going to try and release him whilst he’s in the middle of it, or if they do have to that they’ll give me something to help him work through the withdrawal without (him) resorting back to the nurofen which injured him in the first place.
So to be a bit more succinct - I’m happy he’s seeming a bit more emotionally put together than he was when I first went in yesterday. I’m worried about how he’s going to handle the withdrawal, but I’m going to talk to his doc tomorrow or (if necessary) Monday. I’m also worried about what choices he’s going to make going forward, BUT I’m putting that worry aside for now to deal with when the time comes. My own counselling session(s) should help put that into perspective too.
Thanks for listening guys. Thanks for sharing your own experiences and just rooting for us. I’m going to keep updating but depending on how this goes I may end up getting an LJ and going on there if it goes on too long. If I do I’ll link it so if you want you can follow along.
Sierra Indigo I’m so, so sorry all of this has happened to you.
I’m not trying to be unhelpful or snarky, but did the doctors on all of his previous admissions know about large amounts of Ibuprofen?
It might have significantly changed their management if they had (obviously if they did know, you can ignore my post and they have teh stupid).
Weight loss and crampy abdominal pain with normal test results and without that information is a non urgent medical mystery, those symptoms with known NSAID overusage is upper GI ulceration until proven otherwise.
I wondered from your previous posts, when you mentioned that you weren’t sure what he was telling the doctors, whether there was an issue with alcohol or drugs.
Scratch that, I have teh stupid.
Asked and answered above.
Thinking good thoughts for you both.
I know you’re busy…I just wanted to keep this thread alive in hopes of an update. Please know we’re still here, pulling for you.
Phew. Update time.
He’s just been released from hospital this afternoon. He’s been sent home with a course of antibiotics for the ulcer, a course of antacids and some oxycodone for the pain. He’s also been given 2 weeks of slow-release (24 hour) oxycodone to take once a day. I’m hoping he’ll use this to keep himself off the codeine until he can get into a maintenance program. We’ll see.
The hospital haven’t told him if he should be taking time off work to recuperate at home. They had him in clear liquids whilst he was in the ICU, haven’t given him any solids and haven’t given him any eating plans to help him get back on track. They’ve just gone “Try some food, if it makes you sick stop eating it”.
We’re both having tomorrow off work. Him to try and get back on his feet, me because after this weekend I’m absolutely exhausted.
I’ve got to try and get in touch with the hospital to see if they’ll issue a letter stating the date that he was admitted and the date that he was discharged. I need it more than him so I can prove to my employer that he really was in hospital and that’s where I’ve been for the 3 days that I missed work. I’m hoping if I can’t get the letter that my bosses will be understanding about this and take it on face value that my husband really was in the hospital.
From here on in we’ve got to have The Discussion. If he’s going to make an effort to get clean, or at least get on a maintenance program then obviously I’m behind him all the way. If he’s not ready to do that, then I’ve got my own decisions to make…
Oh Sierra Indigo, when I first read you OP I wondered if it was gastrointestinal, just from personal experience. Hopefully he will realize that he very well could have bled out, and that he needs to become an ex-addict if he wants to live.
I don’t want to hijack your thread, but my experience may add something positive, at least I hope it will. The short story is that I have health issues which cause me chronic pain. I was doing well with two 10 mg hydrocodone per day, but the small community I belong to suddenly had a large number of people abusing pain medication, so no doctors here would prescribe pain meds. Instead they sent us, me, to Anchorage to Pain Clinics. During five years I was on oxycontin and oxycodone, then on methadone to withdraw from that in order to be put on morphine. Two types of morphine, twice a day I took a 12 hour time released pill, and during the day I took up to 4 fast acting morphine for breakthrough pain. I was physically addicted, and as close to being in a coma as one can be without actually being in one. I had to see my family doctor towards the end of my addiction for a sinus infection, and for the first and only time he became very emotional and yelled at me, telling me that if I didn’t get off the morphine I was going to die.
He frightened me enough that I went off my pills cold turkey. The withdrawal was horrendous, I almost died. So I think that having your husband on a narcotic to help him get off gradually is the best thing. You are absolutely right in that he has to want it for himself. I’ll say it again, the withdrawal was horrendous. I was home alone with my two youngest children, my husband was out in the Bering Sea crabbing, and if it wasn’t for my older daughters and a close friend, the outcome would have probably been very bad. Even after I got through the worst symptoms, it was another two years before I felt physically, mentally and emotionally back to my own self. I couldn’t have done it without my family and friends, but I wasn’t much of a nice person for a long time.
I am now able to take a mild pain med and I have no urge to abuse it. I would rather shoot myself and get it over quickly than ever be addicted or go through withdrawal again. It is with deep sympathy and empathy that I say you and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted, you have a lot of people caring about both of you, and the outcome. My email is in my profile should you ever wish to talk off the board.
Sierra Indigo, I feel for you and am thinking of you. I keep checking this thread for updates. You are an incredibly supportive wife, and he is lucky to have you.
I noticed the following on a health/medical message board I read – it’s a Sample Home Detox Plan. I haven’t gone through something like this, and so I can’t vouch for these suggestions, but they seem common-sensical enough. It has stuff like this:
THINGS THAT MAY HELP
-HOT baths several times a day to help with aches; add Epsom Salts or vingear
-Heating Pad & warm blankets to keep muscles warm and relaxed.
-Hot Rice Socks for muscle warmers. Fill cotton socks w/rice, stretch and leave room on ends to loop and self tie sock end. Heat rice socks in microwave for approximately 2 min. Heat check & apply to achey areas.
-Keep nourished; drink lots of water: Add 1 tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar for body PH rebalancing & pain; and if you can, add 1 tablespoon Honey for energy
-Relaxation Exercise to help lessen muscle cramping ,pain, & restless legs syndrome, EASY exercise regimine to activate your own natural endorphins & dopamine to help w/pain, While in bed work your muscles-tighten the muscles in your entire body all at once as hard as you can—hold it for several seconds(hold breath)—slowly release muscles and breath. Do entire body 5 times and then repeat doing one area at time–both legs then both arms-then low back/abdomen area; repeat cycle/one leg-one arm, etc.
SHOPPING LIST OPTIONS TO HAVE ON HAND DURING DETOX:
<snip>
This is the link – I don’t know if it will work if you’re not registered – let me know if you want me to send you the whole thing.
Congratulations on getting clean Kaiwik. It does help in some small way to know that there are others out there who a) have or had a similar problem and b) have managed to overcome it.
He’s currently taking the daily course of oxycodone as prescribed by the hospital. It’s once that’s run out that I’m wondering what choice he’ll make. I’m trying to tread softly so I don’t put his back up, but still remind him that he’ll have to work this out if he wants to quit. He’s saying he’ll see how he feels once he’s out of the oxy, whether he thinks he’ll need the maintenance therapy. He’s still kicking his heels up about the “inconvenience” of having to go into the docs or the pharmacy for the first few weeks on a daily basis. But I’ve told him the alternate is the “inconvenience” of another severe ulcer, or full kidney failure. I think he gets that.
And thanks for the link tesseract. It does work for unregistered readers, so I’m going to bookmark it and look over it a bit more a bit later.
He’s been off the codeine since Thursday, but obviously in the interim he’s had the morphine in hospital and the oxy now he’s out. He’s complaining a bit of his stomach playing up and feeling a bit restless, but for nearly five days without having touched anything near the levels he was on before, he seems to be going well. I’ve tossed all I could find and looked around but couldn’t find more, so I’m hoping that he’s going to be able to ride this out.
All this has given me a cliché epiphany in a way. We’ve had “plans” to go travelling the world, as in “I’d like to do this”, but never made any steps toward it. We were waiting for his residency to come through, we were trying to pay off some debts we had, we were waiting for this and for that and for everything else, but making no plans to do the travelling that we wanted. He wants to go back to the US and hit Vegas. I’d love to go to England and see his family, and see where he came from. We both want to at least go to India, if not backpack through Asia and Europe.
So Fuck It. We need to get this shit done whilst we’re still young and not tied down by a mortgage or kids. So for our next anniversary (20 Jan 2009) I want to go to Vegas. Even if it’s only for a week. Even if we have to blow out our credit card to do it. Obviously I will be saving like a motherfuck to avoid that, but I’m going to make a commitment for this - in 12 months time, come hell or high water I’ll be posting to y’all from the Strip. We’ll be attending a Vegas dopefest, even if it’s only me and a laptop attending, a’ight?
Thank you again, all of you. If you can make it to Vegas when we’re there, there’ll be drinks for all of y’all. And if you can’t make it a glass will be raised in your honour. People say it’s just words on a screen, but behind those words are people and it moves me to have so many people vested in helping us get through this. Thank you.
I’m really, truly happy to hear that he’s pulled through and done well. I hope the good feeling I have that things will turn out okay in the end is one that is on the ball. With someone like you at his side, I’m sure he’ll be just fine. 
It’s good that you’re committing to what you’ve always wanted to do. Take the bull by the horns and do it, go wild! Put a bet on #13 on the roulette wheel for me. A small one. 
Again, a gentle question: If he’s having trouble with addiction, why choose Vegas?
Honestly, why not Vegas? He’s addicted to OTC painkillers, which are available in most destinations that we’d go to. His addiction started when he lived in England, so if we went back there it’d be just as likely he’d pick up again as anywhere else. Or not.
He’s not displayed addictive behaviours in any other aspect of his life, he’s not that into gambling (I gamble more than he does and I’m usually the impetus behind us going to the casino here), he doesn’t drink (again, I drink more than he does). He’s expressed time and time again that he just wants to see Vegas. He wants to go to a $2 lobster buffet, see all the theme-park-style hotels and all the shininess. Also he’s got a bit of an Elvis man-crush, and he’s been to Graceland so now he wants to see Vegas. And I’d like to see Vegas too. I’ve never been overseas before.
This is about not letting our lives be ruled by his addiction. My fervent hope is that by the time this trip comes up, he’ll be mostly clean. If he’s not, then we’ll deal with that when we come to it. But for four years we’ve been putting things off with vague plans and “Wouldn’t it be nice to do this someday”. Vegas is somewhere that we’ve both agreed that we’d really, really like to go, it doesn’t require a ream of shots and immunisations (like India) and there’s a degree of familiarity with the place, but it’s still different enough to be a holiday.
Actually, as far as I know, codeine is not available over the counter in the US.
Best of luck to both of you. I hope he is able to beat the addiction.
Codeine is prescription only here in the States, so that wouldn’t be an issue.
I ask because people often (not always, but often) do better when substitute potential addictions and compulsions are not available. Drinking and gambling are very high on the list of activities that people get into trouble with.