Mom is getting radiation/chemo for her brain tumor.
I just found out that she has been drinking less than a bottle of water a day for a week.
Dad is trying to put off sending her to the hospital until after she sees her MD monday.
He is incredibly stubborn. I expressed concern about how little she is eating earlier this week, & he blew me off. Today i find this out.
I think Mom needs to go to the ER & get fluids.
I don’t wanna call the cops.
One brother out of touch (his choice) the rest of the family in Florida.How can I communicate with a stubborn old fool who pays less attention to what I say than he does to a barking dog?
I don’t know how you can convince him, Bosda – but from what you’re saying, you have every right to be very concerned about your mother. Is there some way a doctor could see her at home?
Is there any way you could go over there to stay for a few days so you can help make sure she is getting enough fluids? If your father won’t help her I would advise him that you will be speaking with your mother’s doctor about finding her a nursing facility or someplace where they can make sure she stays healthy. Don’t sit back and do nothing and let your mother die of dehydration because you want to avoid a scene with your dad.
Dad drank less than a bottle of water per day (couting coffees, which are supposed to be dehydrating) for 30 years, including his last three (three bouts of cancer but what finally got him was an aneurism).
If you think your mother needs emergency care, go over there and pick her up and take her to the hospital. Don’t take “no” for an answer-- be more stubborn than he is. Let your dad bluster all he wants, but he’s not likely to try to physically restrain you from taking you rmother to the doctor.
Bosda, I drink less than that. One way you can check for dehydration is to lift up a pinch of skin. If it goes right back down, she should be okay at least until her visit Monday. But you might want to go with them or call the doctor and mention it, if you think neither of your parents will ask about it.
Keeping my father eating was very difficult when he had cancer. He was on morphine, which I think supresses the appetite. And nothing tasted right. That was the worst part, watching him just wither away.
I think Jello and fruit and all those juicy things count for liquid intake. I would not be freaking out, per se…just make sure liquid is coming from somewhere.
Your brother, pardon the expression, can bite my fat white ass, Bosda. You’re there and doin’ what you can. You know that, I know that, the entire Dope knows that.
I’ll keep your mom, you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
A lot of times, when in a stressful or sad situation, people lash out inappropriately as a way of venting their emotions. Don’t take what your brother said to heart. It’s definitley not your fault - or anyone else’s. All my best to you and your family.
I agree with lavenderviolet – but it’s never pleasant when such reactions happen. Hope all this gets sorted out soon for you and your family’s sake, Bosda. Best wishes to your mother and all of you.
Also, a major change in prescritions is likely gonna happen.
Mom’s regular MD is on vacation, but he’ll be back Monday.
As for Tommy, he’s been told to go stay at my brother Andy’s house, & that if he picks a fight in Dad’s house, or anywhere else, we’ll call the cops on him, & not bail him out, either. Dad means that, as Tommy has been in fistfights with both Andy & me, post-teen years. He is a belligerant jerk, and we all know it.
Hang in there, Bosda.