She just called me and told me she has colon cancer on the outside of her body, the specialist told her he can fix it by pulling it back up into her body in an hour, and that she got it because her old doctor kept giving her calcium(not actually calcium, actually Boniva that she requested due to TV commercials).
:smack:
I’ve explained that Boniva is NOT calcium a million fucking times, it does no good.
She wants me to research filing a lawsuit for the old doctor prescribing her calcium.
:smack:
I can definitely see why you’re facepalming! Urgh! My sympathies.
My mom is also challenging when discussing medical things, but yours seems to have taken it to a whole different level.
I hope whatever is actually troubling her is resolved, and that the lawsuit notion evaporates.
While your prepping her legal team for the case against the Boniva pusher, you might also prep them for upcoming suit against the herbalist that’s gonna push that cancerous colon back into her body.
I hate when my colon falls out and drags behind me.
Yeah same here. You just know it’s been dragging behind you like an old muffler for at least ten minutes, all the while, everyone just smiling politely, not wanting to embarrass you.
I hate discussing my medical problems with my mom. She blames everything on my weight.
Yes, Mom, I know I’m overweight, but people don’t get the flu because they’re fat. I swear to God, one day I’ll show up on her doorstep with an ice pick in my head, and she’ll tell me I should lose a few pounds.
What sounds dangerous to me is that she is obviously not understanding what her doctor is saying either. Would she let you accompany her to be sure she gets instructions and explanations right?
I am fairly well practiced at converting what folks think the Doc said into what really happened, but I can’t make sense of your mom’s complaint. Is the ‘colon cancer’ on her skin?
See, what you need to do is, get a wire coat hanger and just loop it around the dragging colon and the just cinch it up tight to your coccyx. Just 'till you can get someone to take a look at it. Hells yeah.
Gordon S Livingston, in his book Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now has a chapter called:
The problems of the elderly are frequently serious but seldom interesting.
He discusses it here.
The phrase has become like a mantra for my brothers and my friends. Someone only has to mention a parent complaining about health problems for someone else to sympathize, “The problems of the elderly…”
She thought she had roids, one doctor said it looked like colon cancer on the outside(rectal cancer?) and he was 99% sure it was. She has not had a biopsy but is now searching for what med she has been on that caused it. She will ask me what side effects this med has, how does it interact with med X C and F? Prepare a full report son. Oh and do you think diet cola caused my cancer? Its not impossible right? URGHHHHHHHHH.
She will ask me should I take antibiotics? They have no side effects right? So can I take this with a 100% degree of no side effects no matter what right?
MOM no one can answer those questions! Urgghh.
She isn’t understanding her doctors, but they also seem to not be communicating properly.
She …hoo she drives me crazy. The worst is when she is flat out not budging from her stupid position. She once claimed she tried to buy tree root killer but a garden center employee told her it didn’t exist, she that was that and nothing I could say would change this fact. That expert on plumbing at home depot has spoken and that is that! Urgghhh
It is a lot like talking to a wall.
Yeesh. If she’s got colon cancer on the outside, what kind of QUACK wants to put the cancer back inside??? You want that cancer out!! :rolleyes::smack:.
More seriously - I have to agree with the poster(s) who have suggested trying to see if you can accompany your mother to these appointments. Somehow I suspect she could not be receptive to this suggestion, however.
For example, there may well be issues involving rectal or uterine prolapse, or even bladder prolapse, where “pulling it back in” may well be appropriate (though I highly doubt anyone could do so, appropriately, in an hour). Any chance your mother is being preyed upon by someone, either these “medical” people or other scammers?
Sadly, sometimes as parents age they start to lose their sense of judgment and make huge mistakes of various sorts, and the adult kids need to step in.
Lots of doctors don’t communicate well.
But even the most proper communication by doctors cannot overcome some patients’ intransigence.
I’ve been given a lot of credit from peers and patients alike for being able to communicate what the pertinent issues are in easy to understand language, and taking the time needed to do so.
Even with that, it pains me to discover that often after spending the time and effort, 3 days later the patient may come back not even remembering what we talked about, or that they even have the diagnosis we spent a half hour discussing, going over pictures and handouts.
:smack:
Good luck.
My WAG is that the doctor found mild rectal prolapse secondary to hemorrhoids. This could present like a growth outside the body. He told her that he could remove the hemorrhoids and that would fix the problem. He then asked her about anything that could be causing constipation. She mentioned calcium and he told her that this was probably the culprit. Again, just a WAG from years of trying to learn to speak patient.
Now all I have to do is find that guy on the television who keeps telling my patients to stop their medication immediately because it could kill them. They insist that they are being told that they must stop the medicine before even calling the doctor or asking for advice.
I wish I could help, but I can only commiserate. My Mom lives with us and had prolapse surgery two years ago…yes, TWO YEARS! I love her and hate that she has been uncomfortable, but for the last 17532 hours our every household conversation has been hijacked by tales of rectums and bladders. She has lost all sense of propriety, and brings words such as hemorrhoid, pessary, coccyx, anus, colon…to any and all conversations.
I honestly cannot remember if she ever had any modesty, grace or good taste. To exacerbate the strain on our home life, while she was recuperating she watched Fox News night and day. Now if she is not harping about her sagging innards, she is parroting some political demagogue. I am personally conservative in my politics, but don’t take pleasure in the trashing of those currently in office. The things that come out of her mouth are so juvenile, hateful and divisive…I can’t stand being in the room when she is speaking. My husband has implored me to speak with her to work things out, but the last time I tried she grabbed her heart (Fred Sanford style).
All this to say you’re not the only one going nuts with your Mom. I truly hope you both find comfort, and if you find a good way to deal please share! Thanks for letting me vent 
You seem to have your answer there. Difficult to communicate to a wall. Also, see Qadgop’s answer. Often patients are so anxious that they focus on only one aspect of the problem (“Is it serious?” “Will it hurt?” “Will I die?”) without being able to concentrate on the rest of the details.
grude, maybe we should hook up our moms so they can talk at each other about the problems with their innards. Every time I talk to mine, I have to hear about the explosive bouts of gallons of liquid waste that just pour out of her. Every day. No matter what she eats, including white bread, ginger ale, or jello, it just makes a hasty, firey exit ASAP. I’m beginning to wonder if I should start carrying a tarp in my car for her, and am toying with the idea of sending her an anonymous box of Depends.
I am also taking care of elderly parents. My Dad has had some serious health issues, so I take most things seriously. I almost always go into the doctors’ offices with him (except for the urologist), because he 1) doesn’t hear well, and doctors and PAs and nurses WON’T speak up, no matter how many times all of us ask them to 2) he gets confused when people speak quickly 3) doesn’t understand current medical knowledge. He’s 89 years old; he was completely competent and took care of everyone and , everything well when he was younger; he’s earned the right to be taken care of now. No matter how frustrating it gets at times.
This is all just to say that yes, you should talk with her doctors. Even if you dont’ want to go into the examination room with her, talk with the doctor/PA/nurse separately. She is clearly a bit confused, and people who are anxious and frightened don’t remember anything that was said to them. Even if they are able to hear it and understand it at the time.
I wish you luck and patience taking care of her.
I’ll talk to your mom about medical problems if you will talk to mine about politics and religion.