ianzin, have you been rummaging in Steven Wright’s trash can again? 
Do the members of AC-DC speak sine language?
Yes, but it’s difficult to follow - they’re always going off on one tangent or another.
Do you think any of them has ever cosined for a loan?
If a robot shopped at an upscale haberdashery, would he be a chrome-Magnin man?
People at the Christmas tree lighting last night were carrying signs saying “stop the war in Afghanistan”. Why don’t we ever see people with signs telling us to start a war somewhere? “Death to Vermont!”
Where does your lap go when you stand up?
Why are laptops always sitting on tables? Shouldn’t they be called “tabletops”? And why do desktop computers nearly always sit on the floor? Shouldn’t they be called floorsitters?
When it was released in Australia, was Stevie Wonder’s 1980 album called “Hotter Than January”?
(BTW, Chef, they’re called ‘desktop computers’ because the GUI is supposed to resemble the top of a desk.)
On Anti-Middle-Earth, would the Stewards of Gondor rule from Plus Tirith?
Why are eleven and twelve not firteen and seconteen?
Considering how long drawing boards have been around, the back of the cave.
There is matter. There is antimatter.
There is dark matter. Why is there no dark antimatter?
If a man has a score to settle, he should count to 20 first.
If the Beatles were right and “love is all there is”, what’s all this other stuff?
Maybe they’re the same people who buy Amelia Earhart luggage.
Why are Hawaii and Norway not near each other?
Main Entry: thesaurus
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: dictionary of synonyms and antonyms
Synonyms:
glossary, language reference book, lexicon, onomasticon, reference book, sourcebook, storehouse of words, terminology, treasury of words, vocabulary, word list
Other love. It’s all worthless, though, because money can’t buy love.
Nice.
Okay, smart guy, why is “abbreviated” such a long word?