To me, it always has been, if the differences were extreme enough.
“A woman’s place is in the kitchen.” “A woman can never hold a job which pays better than her husband’s; if she’s offered a promotion which would mean she’d earn more than he does, she must turn it down.” I’m an engineer.
“People simply should stay wherever they were born.” Unless your family tree is all from the same village as far as the records get, you’re a hypocrite. None of us would be here without our “outsider” foreparents.
No not really a deal breaker, also I find that I sometimes change people’s beliefs over time by just being around them and engaging in little conversations and sometimes debates. I’m an atheist and I’ve dated Christians who after a time ended up atheist too, not because I was trying to change them it just happened naturally over time. Of course for some of them I think maybe they were happier when they believed, my bad.
It sounds like the JOB has changed him, and not for the better.
My opinion? Not so much their views, as their attitude about them and those who disagree with them, and how they react when errors are pointed out to them. That goes for human relationships in general.
Marriages survive nursing school so infrequently, especially if children are involved, I really think they just might as well get divorced first, because they’re going to do it anyway, regardless of how the family supports itself. At the very least, it sounds like this guy needs another job; even flipping burgers would be less harmful to his family.
If they were right leaning and we differed on a few issues, I could live with that. An intelligent back and forth about how we arrived at our respective positions on the issues is something I’d enjoy.
A Trump supporter is so wrong on so many issues, I could not be involved with them.
Ahhh…the old dehumanize and vilify your opponent ploy. Used to great effect by Josef Goebbels. Its hard to take seriously those who can’t recognize shades of gray.
Isn’t that what the purpose of dating is for? To find out how and what the other person thinks, and to make a decision whether to proceed with the relationship or not?
Seriously, when you date, you talk about everything–hobbies, work, politics, families, commutes, sports, movies, religion, music, and so on. If something doesn’t click, it doesn’t click. After a few dates, you add up the positives and minuses, and decide if it is worth continuing. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t.
This is an important point for me. Many people lean one way or the other politically, but they are not particularly intense in their politics. (Consider how many people don’t vote.) ISTM the level of intensity would be a contributing factor. As an example, my current spouse is on the other side, but not really intensely engaged. This is OK, for the most part (see below*).
Regarding the OP, sorry to say it - but, ex-military, business owner, and you’re surprised by their politics? Um OK.
*I say for the most part, here is why - Were I dating now I would look for someone who shares my politics and my level of engagement. I miss the opportunities to have those types of conversations where we would hear something or read something and agree on our opinions and have free wheeling discussions punctuated by “I know!”. I miss the opportunity to get involved and participate in political activities, and attend rallies, and see prominent speakers, all with my spouse. This is whole social world I am cut off from because my spouse does not share my views and level of engagement.
This man belongs to an EXTREMELY liberal Episcopalian church and sings in the choir, so yeah, I was surprised. Other members have since told me he is an outlier in the congregation. And let’s don’t tar all ex-military with the same brush. I’ve dated a few, married one, both my stepsons are retired military, and I’m an Air Force brat myself.
Anyway, I wouldn’t have been shocked to find that he was a conservative Republican, or that he was “pro-life,” (being a churchy guy), but I was appalled to see the virulent, angry, scorching, hateful pro-Trump posts on his FB page.
Thanks, all, for the extremely interesting replies and discussion. The question of political differences breaking up existing relationships (blood relationships, too) is very pertinent.
Definitely these days would be a deal breaker if I was in the market. My family is Muslim (I am Lutheran), so any potential partner who would say Islamaphobic things, or vote for an Islamaphobic candidate, would be immediately a no.
Support for Trump goes way beyond “politics.” It’s a major character flaw that can’t be ignored.
Many (but not enough) conservatives have made a point of distancing themselves from Trump. If the OP’s friend can’t do that, he’s not worth the time of day.
Nobody who still calls themselves a Trump supporter could ever earn my respect at this point. If I found out on a first date that he was one, I wouldn’t even let him buy my dinner.
I couldn’t be in an intimate relationship with a strong Trump supporter. Aside from conflicting values and attitudes etc., politics is something I’m gonna need to talk about openly and freely with the one I love. If we can’t do that without getting into a debate, then that means not talking about it at all. And I’m not seeing how sustainable that would be. After a while, it would be like censoring the word “the” from your speech.
