I believe that people who have different political opinions can be friends (I am friends with people who don’t agree with me on things) but if someone is a dyed in the wool Trumper it means either:
or
So I guess, yes, it’s a deal breaker.
The issue is that the modern republican party is the party of identity politics. Men over women, Christians over other faiths (especially Islam and secularism), whites over other races, native born Americans over other nationalities, heterosexual over gays, etc.
It isn’t an insult to admit how important identity politics is to the modern right in the us. This is what happens after half a century of the southern strategy. Pretty much all the racists, sexists, theocrats and authoritarians have congregated in the gop now. Maybe not absolutely everyone in the gop participates in those beliefs, but you have to be OK with them to be a member.
Granted, again, lots of conservatives would never date someone like me who is OK with killing babies (abortion). To each their own.
One of the great things about online dating apps is you can filter out people with political views you find abhorrent. Saves time!
No, not possible.
Normal disagreements based on differing values I can handle. The utter derangement or cynicism of a Trump supporter, whichever applies, is far beyond what I can tolerate in a romantic relationship.
I’m struggling to maintain a relationship with my parents over the same issues, especially my father. Watching him go from a kind, intelligent, reasoning individual, a former journalist and public relations professional who had particular interests in and knowledge of the disciplines of geology and astronomy, to a climate-change-denying, Obama-hating, Trump-supporting troglodyte who spouts Hannity and alt-right talking points like a doll with a ring pull in his back, has been one of the most painful experiences of my life. There are almost no safe topics between us now.
That is really sad. 
I’m not sure that taking politics that seriously is healthy. With family and friends you can agree to disagree. What’s the point of living and dying in a bubble?
Heck, it was a deal breaker even 40 years ago. There was no possibility of me partnering with someone who didn’t value progress and equal rights for all. I think I could’ve made a go of it with a conservative lady but she would have had to leave a lot of her party’s baggage behind.
Sure, until you leave the “wide variety of reasonable opinions,” and venture into whatever the hell TrumpLand is.
What do you have in mind when you say “politics”? I can understand this POV if the only things differentiating sides are dry issues like taxes and the distribution of public services. But politics encompasses so much more than that.
To be clear, I’m not advocating that people estrange themselves from loved ones over political disagreements. But I can see how it can happen.
This is something I couldn’t sacrifice. Perhaps I could do it if I lived or worked with another person who could provide that outlet for me, but I don’t. Such is the life of an introvert with only a few friends.
Everyone needs to choose how they deal with family for themselves. I just know that life is long and it’s a bit silly, imo, to get so worked up over who someone else votes for. Now, if there was an actual Hitler or Stalin in office then my opinion would be different but Trump, all hyperbole aside, is no Hitler or Stalin.
I can see how it happens as well and even with all the hand wringing over The Donald I don’t think American politics has veered into the territory of it should happening. Look at what different religions have to deal with. If you are the wrong religion from another religion’s point of view you are going to Hell or some other not so nice place. That’s a pretty serious view to have yet I’d advocate that family members of differing religions should still get along.
This.
Fortunately, I’m already taken, and don’t have to worry about these things.
Speaking only for myself, it’s not a matter of getting worked up over who someone voted for. My mother and both of my sisters voted for Trump - it’s not the end of the world. One sister kind of regrets it now and the other sister I really don’t talk to much for other reasons but my mother? She’s the problem. She’s a problem less because of her views than the fact that she.will.not.shut.up about them. Her views about “foreigners” don’t go over too well with my half-Asian kids, my nephew and his wife from El Salvador or my niece and her Israeli husband. My son-in-law, the son of an Irish immigrant isn’t thrilled either, although she never seems to complain abut Catholic immigrants who speak English as a first language. Then she starts on how terrible the ACA is/was - which makes a couple of them feel like Grandma would be just fine with them not being able to pay for either insurance or doctor’s visits. Nobody else brings up politics- and when people walk away from the conversation rather than getting into an argument with her, she mocks them.
I wonder why the grandchildren don’t visit her as much as she wants them to.
God damn that is so relateable.
The right winger who openly talks about how much disdain they have for people exactly like their family members (people who need healthcare that the private market wouldn’t provide, people who aren’t native born) and then they make fun of you if you refuse to engage them becuase you don’t want to be rude and call them what you really think of them.
I really am surprised at how little self awareness some of these people have. I saw the wife of an ex-coworker posting on facebook about how the kids who were shot at in Parkland were the equivalent of the hitler youth. How do people go their whole lives not realizing what pieces of shit they are? Probably because other people are too nice to them.
But we’re not talking about family - no choice is involved with family. We’re talking who we would choose as a romantic partner. And it seems pretty reasonable that we might consider one’s philosophy on life, including politics, when choosing a life partner.
That’s why I included the words “In 2018” in the thread title. As some have said, there was a time when I could have dated a George W. supporter or even a Nixon supporter. It’s. Different. Now. The political gulf is WIDE, and it’s about morality, character, and values.
It’s tangentially related when you have relatives by blood or marriage (including a spouse) with whom you used to mildly/reasonably differ on what used to be simply political issues, but now those people have gone to an extreme and started spouting the hateful, xenophobic, racist, misogynistic views legitimized, nay endorsed, by the president.
Funnily enough, I was just reading a wine review column in a local paper and off on the “trending” sidebar this was #1:
My husband’s support for Trump is poisoning our marriage. Should I get a divorce?
We obviously don’t know the whole candid story here but “Should I get a divorce?” is not the signal of a happy marriage.
Absolutely. I’ve said repeatedly over the past two years, ‘We don’t disagree on politics, we disagree on morality.’
I cannot fathom a moral universe in which the Republican positions makes sense. I can’t trust someone to be near my daughter if they want to grab women by the pussy. I can’t trust someone so willing to lie to me - or to repeat known lies to me - and I don’t know why anyone would be willing to have such a person in their life.
I thought things like ‘don’t lie,’ and ‘don’t be racist’ were just basic rules for human beings, but I guess I was wrong.
I have an aunt who once told me that gay people would cause the apocalypse. I just don’t know how to process that, and I’m tired to trying. It’s not a political difference, or a matter of opinion. She’s just a dumbfuck, and that’s all there is to it.
There are no political differences in this country any more. It used to be, there were liberals and conservatives, and most of the liberals were Democrats, and most of the conservatives were Republicans. Both sides wanted what was best for the country, and just disagreed on how best to achieve that.
Now, there are still liberals, and they’re still Democrats. And there are a small number of conservatives, and they’re mostly Democrats, too. And then there are Trumpists. Trumpists aren’t conservative, and they don’t want what is best for the country. The best among them just want what is best for themselves. The worst among them don’t even care about that, and just want other people to suffer. I can have no common ground with such people.
Because Politics is how a Democracy addresses its problems and for some people that literally is life and death.