Tragically, on April 17, 2002, my beloved beer stein, Chad, fell from my grasp and broke into several pieces on the floor of my kitchen.
Chad was a strong, imposing piece of glassware, with a sturdy, dependable handle. My main regret is having let Chad go over the past few months. He deserved better, and I hope his spirit can forgive my neglect.
Chad proudly bore the logo of the Canadian Amateur Hockey Association. He was given to me (along with many other pieces of glass- and tableware) by my aunt when I was a starving student. He saw me through many a good time, and consoled me over many a tear, many a heartbreak.
Chad suffered a great loss last fall when he lost his twin brother, Chip. He was never the same; this loss weakened him, thus rendering him fragile and less resilient. In the past, whenever Chad would suffer a mishap, he would remain intact. But time had obviously taken its toll.
He will be missed.
Funeral services to be held Saturday, April 20, 11 AM, on the 17th floor of my building, at the garbage chute. In lieu of flowers, I request donations be sent to the “Buy scott evil a new beer stein” fund.