Here we go again. I have first hand experience of attempted suicide, both in high school, and as an adult. Also, I know other people who have attempted suicide and run an on-line support group for people who suffer from clinical depression.
Joe Cool, while there is room for variation between people, despite appearances to the contrary, as a rule, a person who attempts or commits suicide does not intend it to be a selfish act. Speaking directly from my own experience now, when I have been suicidal, I have been out of touch with reality in that my world consisted of nothing but pain, and I could see no end to that pain. As a teenager who not accepted at home or at school, I could not see a time and place where I would ever be accepted, wanted, or loved. I won’t deny that there was an element of anger, of “I’ll show them!” but that alone has not been sufficient for me. In recent months, when I have been close to suicidal, I have prayed to God, “Please, make it stop. I am not strong enough.” I know suicide appears selfish, and my heart goes out to those who have loved those who have committed it. It’s just in this case, the appearance may well not match the reality.
Also, when I was a teenager, my parents didn’t know about my suicide attempts until I rather foolishly confessed to one in a Social Studies class. Even then, they knew far less about the cause than my few friends did because I didn’t tell them. I already believed (falsely) that they didn’t love me and couldn’t accept me for who I was, and that I would never be good enough for them. They also did not believe in psychiatry. They do now, to some extent, and I think they’ve got a reasonable handle on some of what I’ve been going through recently, but I’m still pretty sure they don’t know what was going on in high school, and I’d prefer to keep it that way because the knowledge would only hurt them. For what it’s worth, it falls under the category of “Honor thy father and mother.”
This is intended to educate, not criticize. Like I said, I’ve got the privilege:rolleyes: of having first hand knowledge of depression and suicide. On the whole, I’d really have preferred to do without that, but it does have its uses.
Respectfully,
CJ