In need of artistic feedback! opinions please!

I wrote this poem/song about my crystal meth addiction using a remixed beat of hotel california. Please leave feedback and please be honest! I want to hear everything!

In the hotel California
a couple spots are open
They got a room just for ya
Its time you started dosin’

Now closin’ all the curtains
You go and lock the door
exploring every demon
Like you signed up for the tour

It turned into much more
Then a ride at the carnival
Riding deeper tangled up
In every single yarn I pull

Unraveling each article
Of clothing off my body
Till I’m naked awaken
The people waitin’ in the lobby

Screamin loud voice is wobbly
My only choice is probably
Get swallowed or grow hollowed
And let the darkness gobble me

Just a couple nights here
might feel like a light year
A passenger through life
but I cant quite steer

So hello there my dear
I know its been awhile
I tend to only write you
when I’m feeling suicidal

So it’s safe to say
my life is deep and vile
Tried my best but the stress
eventually compiled

Of course I’d love to leave
Its just so hard to go
Though they are invisible
My shackles sometimes show

While still above the ground
feels like part of me’s below
The doors unlocked I cant walk
Until my mind agrees to go

If I could only cease the flow
Of the way I need to go
For even just a week
It would help to free my soul

But It always pulls you back
And it seems to lead ya slow
unaware your even slippin
Till the day your feet wont go

And then it all will hit you
While laying in the bed
No lights just the dark
Thinking might as well be dead

But Instead of really trying
To make it off this island
You give up cuz it seems
even dreams feel like dying

So if someone’s callin’
Please know that I listen
Its just hard to hear over
free flowin’ addiction

It feels life’s twistin
Like the poles of a barbershop
Since i lost my mind
I use soul my to harbor thoughts

with ideas like Grenades
That the martyr drops
Every time im sober
I always end up sparking rocks

now I’m stuck in the muck
And it ain’t picking up
With my luck I’ll be fucked
And my life will just suck

As if that’s not enough
Lady crystal calls my name
With a promise it gets better
when I fall its all the same

And I know it sounds insane
To believe what she is saying
it’s like she owns a spot
Putting thoughts up in my brain

still I hope she might change
Give the good not the misery
But that’s not how it works
with a heavy price that isnt free

Now here we go again
I sadly hope that this is it
Cuz if I never leave her
might take death for me to quit

How does it sound under Desperado?